So lonely and broken

[Igiveup29]

I really do not know what to do, I've tried talking to people, medication, other activities but I either mess it up, hurt people or do something wrong or they don't work. My anxiety and panic attacks have reached the point, I don't want to get out of bed. I've pushed away everyone I love and I just feel alone. I'm trying so hard but I can't stop this feeling of low and pain. I've been drinking everyday just to get out of bed! I just want to be better but I don't see a light. I just don't want to be here, please just let it stop and let me die. I just want it to stop!!

[20Voices]

Hi, Sorry that you are feeling this way. I also felt so lost at the start I couldn't cope with being around people at times and I just wanted to sleep and not wake up. Are you on medication at the moment?

I think you need to go and speak to your GP again and see if you can get a referral for more help. When you have tried other things, was it something you tried on your own or did you have support from health workers?

You say you mess things up, but sometimes that happens. Did you try again or did you give up? I am asking because I had to ask to do the CBT program on anxiety and depression I was signed up to do and I also had to attend a Stress Control class twice before I felt that I understood the sessions. I had to do that because I was so tired and my head just felt fuzzy and I just couldn't concentrate.

I was given exercises by my psychologist to do, but these took me time to learn how to do correctly. My psychologist did tell me that it was understandable that it takes time to learn how to do the exercises and to stop being so hard on myself. She asked me to think about what advise I would give someone if I was helping them with the exercises she had given me. She was right as soon as I stopped criticizing myself for not understanding and started being happy about the bits I could do things started to feel better and the exercises got easier.

Is there a friend or family member that you can talk to and help you through this? I gave up alcohol when I realized that all it was doing was making me feel worse. So I poured it all down the sink and it helped not to have any in the house.

I hope you are able to get some help and remember that we are here if you need to talk.

Have you looked at the Shaw Mind Foundation website as it has some good information on there. Also don't be afraid to call one of the help lines if you are feeling really bad. I called the Samaritans one night and it helped just to talk to someone.

Take care and keep trying it will take time, but you can feel better.

[Sarah1111111]

We are definitely all here for you so do talk to us. Try to cut down or stop drinking as this never helps. I know the effect it has on my mood it's never helpful.

getting out of bed and wanting to get better are two big steps in the right direction though so make sure you give yourself credit for what you have ,managed to achieve each day.

Keep going it will get better

[Igiveup29 in reply to Sarah1111111]

At the moment that's all that helps me get out of bed. It's sooo hard, the mental and physical pain is unbearable. I just feel so alone.

[Hidden]

Hiya, you say that you cannot see a light at the moment but I can guarentee you 100% that the light is there for you. You sound overwhelmed by events, past and present and these things will take time to work through, but work through them you can, slowly and methodically. You will need the right help and support - you should persist in seeking that specialist help, which your GP may not be able to offer. Please avoid alcohol - it will definitely not help you. It's really vital for your mental well-being to eat healthily and look after your physical health. Most of all be kind to yourself and seek the help of trusted friends and others - I assure you there are people who will help you and who will not let you down. You deserve to be happy and you will be. Be patient and take care,

[Igiveup29 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. I'm haunted everyday and I don't know how to handle it. I'm seeking help but I just hope I get in time. Friends and family, I wish I had that support. They think I'm pathetic and I'm so isolated.

[Hidden in reply to Igiveup29]

Hiya, clearly I don't know your exact situation, but speaking generally, sometimes family and friends have great difficulty understanding depression and will say and do the wrong things. It's a learning curve for everyone - so long as people are prepared to learn and understand. Having said that, to suggest to someone who is ill that they are pathetic is not acceptable and harmful, and they need to be be aware of that. There are support groups you could attend where people will understand and empathise and I think that online forums such as this one is another way you can reach out to like minded people. The medication might take a long time to kick in and a specialist will definitely be able to tell you whether you are on the right meds. Please don't give up - we would all be diminished without you !

[Igiveup29 in reply to Hidden]

You words me more that you know and hear I'm not alone and I'm not pathetic, makes me feel like I can breathe a little easier.

[Igiveup29]

Thank you for replying. I'm on medication but I don't think it's working, I'm being referred to a specialist, so I just have wait. I've also got counselling book in a few weeks. It's hard to not criticise you keep making mistakes and being told how bad you're. Nope family and friends think I'm being selfish and pathetic and I should snap out of it.

[mysmugcat]

You are not messing it up here. I am not preaching but please do not drink every day. I drunk every evening years ago and felt so desperate every night. I don't feel great now but not so tearful and emotional. Have you asked the doctor for alcohol support or been to AA? They are even online now. Are you on anti depressants? Mine were recently put up in dosage and slightly help. Ask about interaction with alcohol though if so. Do you have any hobbies? Everything is a learning experience I've had to learn over and over and over.

[Igiveup29 in reply to mysmugcat]

I've tried to stop but I don't have the energy to get out of bed without it. Or to concentrate! I've been recently and he changed my medication and is referring me. I used to be so outgoing, no I sit in my room and watch TV series. How do you have no fight left, physically and mentally

[mysmugcat in reply to Igiveup29]

Your body has come to rely on it. Are you putting the drink by the bed? I know it's hard but it can change. Elderly people give up drink not sure what age you are and this is no offence to the elderly!!

[Igiveup29 in reply to mysmugcat]

It's always in my room. I'm 29 but without it, I'm scared what I might do.

[WantToChange]

I know exactly how you feel. I don't drink but I am lonely and struggle with being around people. I also feel unhappy most of the time.

I see your post was 2 months ago, how are you doing now? x