My mum and my sister put their Christmas hats on and I put mine on but didn't really want too. ..then my mum started laughing and said 'aren't we all having fun' then said' look at zoe having loads of fun' and continued to laugh. Obviously pointing out that im miserable and hadnt said anything throughout dinner.
I shortly managed to escape back to my room to cry.
All my friends are having a wonderful day with their partners and families and even those who dont have partners are having a lovely day with their families...I just dont get any enjoyment out of life any more.
It will be off to my Grandads later where our very small family sit around awkwardly with nothing really interesting to talk about...
I feel bad that I now seem incapable of spending time with my mum especially if we are alone anymore. I dont no whats happened to me.
Anyways that enough of me moaning, I hope everyone else is having lovely day x
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Well I'm at my parents and Mum forgot to take the turkey out to defrost, so Christmas dinner is still cooking. My Dad is picking at all the food which is annoying me. Mum is now on the sherry so my sister has taken over the dinner / supper. She keeps disappearing off to smoke, so God knows if and when my children will be eating! I'm past the point of caring but I'd like the kids to have a Christmas dinner ...
We did eventually, and lovely it was too! I think the tensions were caused by my sister from up North. She only visits once every couple of months and she isn't used to the way we've had to adapt to Mum's needs. In a way her expectations of Mum highlight just how much we do for her now. My sister is very frustrated and things Mum is being lazy, but we see her day in day out and we know its because she's ill. I think she's actually hurting at seeing her demise since last time she visited. It was a difficult day ...
I'm sorry you're having such an unhappy day. Is it possible that your mum thought you were really happy and having a good time? I'm sure your grandad will love having you all round even if all everyone talks about is the weather. I used to hate Christmas - a drunk and verbally abusive (now ex)hubby, my dad (whom my ex didn't get on with) my poor mum with dementia and my ex mother in law!! Now there's a mix! One year I decided to change it all and volunteered for the day at my local hospice then went home to a curry with my kids and friends. I am now married to a lovely man and tell my kids to do what they want to do on Christmas day as I'd hated Christmas for 25 years. What I'm trying to say is for you to plan for next year and do what you think is best. Let everyone know in advance so they get used to the idea. I never had a grandad so give yours a hug from me! All the best. Maggie x
Christmas is nearly always an anti-climax. It's built up into this mythical, amazing thing where everybody is happy. The reality is that everybody follows convention, and most spend time with family because they feel obliged, not because they want to. There's just this lemming kind of psychology that "you must enjoy doing XYZ because XYZ is what everyone does at Christmas." It's not everyone's idea of fun. A lot of "Christmas spirit" feels really false to me.
I've eaten, I don't drink, and I'm not merry but not really down either. Strangely it's relatively better than usual this year, I think because I've mostly ignored it until about ten days before. All my shopping has been done within that stretch of time, and I haven't had time to get bored with it all. I'll still probably have a more enjoyable time next week though, when I'm just off work and my time is my own.
We've reached that stage of the day at my house where we've eaten, the presents have all been opened, and everyone's at a loose end. Well, until Doctor Who turns up anyway
Don't beat yourself up for not enjoying it, there's nothing wrong with that. Hope you feel better soon.
I'm back home after taking my mother out to lunch with my brother ... before he heads off to be with the rest of his family in Russia tomorrow (they're much bigger on New Year than Christmas - which also happens to be my sister-in-laws birthday.
As well says - do a bit of family christmas because it is what my mother wants - would be quite happy to spend the whole day on my own - and got to do that earlier with a very long walk - think it left me tired which helped with the day - as did the alcohol with lunch - ate far too much and only just starting to get to the point where I can face a cup of tea let alone anything else - just no more room in there.
Christmas really isn't everyone's cup of tea - there are more family rows and divorces started at Christmas than any other time of year, or at least there were the last time someone surveyed it.
PS my highlight of the day was the bizarre sight of a father and daughter skiing up the street in a local village as I walked through - no snow anywhere - think they were rolle ski's
Hello
Families and Christmas can be a heady mix especially when an elder tries to be funny at some ones expense all I can say have a wit at her expense. Sometimes this time of the year breeds disagreements and causes problems throughout the year, For many years we spent many years abroad at this time of the year and when we generally returned for New Year we found that many of our families had fallen out and we had got away scot free, We then invited them around for the New Year and there was always a better attitude then. We always got why do you not be here for Christmas, I wonder why
Sometime I wonder why the stress over Christmas, personally I feel that families feel the strain of being around each other for an extended period of time. They can get on with it as far as I am concerned.
Take it for what it is an obligation, where would you go if on your own for Christmas Dinner.
Sometimes at Christmas if I felt jaded and upset by anybody I would imagine them with no clothes on, that always brought a smile on my face. What the hell imagine them all in the buff.
Thank goodness Christmas is once a year, sometimes I feel that Boxing Day is a better get together, they can all chat what they have just bought in the Boxing Day Sales
Hi Zoe I'm really sorry that your day was not your greatest. Xmas is a notoriously hard time and we all have high expectations.we buy into this mythical family or coupledom who are happy and interesting and bright and look great, they sip wine as the laugh and make scintillating chat at the table. But Zoe real life is different and any problem that we have in our lives is magnified at Xmas
Think about what kind of Xmas you would enjoy and plan for that for next year.
Your Mom and sister are probably doing their best and it's not their fault that
You feel sad. I had my friend over and we had a good day, oh if I was honest I would
Love to be sought after by a nice man and all that entails. Reality is I live alone. I did not get one phone call from my family, so your lucky to have yours.
Enjoy the days Zoe and if your mood stays down, maybe a trip to Doctor could help.
I know Meds are a help but we also have to do the best we can and try and enjoy the moment.
Hannah
I couldn't be arsed with it all! Xmas has become a commercial gimmick, bit like Valentines Day. Next
Year I'm going to volunteer at a homeless shelter.
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