Another newbie

Hello. As stated in the title I am new to this and I am male, 23 and from the UK. Basically, I have struggled on and off with what I believe to be some form of depression for about 7 years now. I was told when I was 17 I was most likely suffering from PTSD after losing my Mother suddenly when I was 16. Ever since then I have had periods (some longer than others) of really deep sadness which has latterly developed into anxiety and almost a fear of social situations. I think that that may stem from how I feel about my physical appearance as well as a heightened awareness of other people's judgements but I don't really know. I often think I may have bi-polar of some sort due to the fact that I have really crazy mood swings. I can go from being the loudest in the room to a complete shadow of that person in a matter of hours sometimes. I know I have a very low opinion of myself in all aspects of who I am, though I am not even sure of that sometimes because of the changes in mood. I remember being a carefree, happy person but right now and for some time, I feel lost and almost vacant. Usually I would try and put all of this to the back of my mind but I'm currently going through an intense year of teacher training and I don't want to let this affect that at all. I am reluctant to go and see a doctor out of fear of what they may tell me. I guess I'm kinda looking for some solace in a community where I might not feel as alone. Thank you for reading.

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16 Replies

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  • Hi nice to meet you. Surely it is better to go to a doctor and face a diagnosis rather than wonder and suffer needlessly? Even if you are diagnosed with depression or some other mental health issue it is far from being the end of the world, and you will get the help you need to help overcome your issues.

    The only other option is self help. You could start with mindfulness, meditation, headspace and online counselling and see if you can sort things out by yourself.

    Whilst no one on here is qualified to diagnose you, you definitely aren't alone as we all suffer from some form of mental health issue. Most suffer from depression including myself and get it completely. We offer support, help and understanding. x

  • Hi, thank you for your reply. I think I don't want to face a formal diagnosis because I do know what that could do for my professional life, whether it will impact it in any way.

    As for the alternative methods, I've considered self help but don't know a lot about it but a couple of those things you have just mentioned sound like they may help.

    It's good to hear that there is this kind of support from like-minded people and although I am struggling at this time, I think I would like to try and help others to help myself if that makes sense. Thank you again.

  • Hi I do understand your reluctance to seek formal help as I have a friend who used to be a staff nurse and she told me about the problems medical staff can face if they 'admit' to any mental health problem.

    One other option you can try, but it's expensive, is to pay privately for a counsellor/therapist. That way it won't be on any records and they might be able to help push you in the right direction. x

  • Okay, I will look into those things. Thanks x

  • There is a PTSD site on Health Unlocked, give that a try , it may give you some assistance from like minded people

    BOB

  • Hi my names Lauren I'm in literally a simular a situation to you 😟 I'm here if you need someone to talk to X

  • Hi Lauren, nice to hear from you. I am also here if you want to chat about things, I've had a read of your situation and totally empathise with what you're going through. x

  • Hello winter93

    The stress of doing an intensive course puts enormous demands on your psyche . Im not deeply experienced in these things , go along to your doctor and tell him how you feel , this site has been a blessing to me because I can share my feelings without telling anyone close to and feeling a failure and a n Idiot I've only just found out by accident that I am being treated for bipolar , i do suffer from anxiety and hit massive depression when I found out . Talking to others is so helpful .

    Wilf

  • Hi Winter, welcome to the site.

    Really there is no substitute for a GP's diagnosis, but I completely understand why you would be reluctant to as I was in a similar position, worrying how it might affect my job and professional career. As it was I bit the bullet and went to the doctors, and it hasn't affected my career at all, but I certainly understand where you're coming from.

    One thing you can try is finding out what health trust you live under and googling their IAPT scheme. IAPT is Improving Access to Psychological Therapies, every trust has to have to have an IAPT scheme so there will be one. You may be able to self-refer without a formal diagnosis, and get some access to short counselling programmes and or seminars/workshops. I've done both through an IAPT schene and they were really helpful, and they normally have weekend options available so it won't interfere with the course if you don't want it to. Although the waiting period is generally longer for weekend sessions.

    If you get in contact with them you'll probably have to arrange a 30-45 minute phone interview about your symptoms and so forth - again, if I remember correctly you can schedule that for when it suits you.

    And of course, you can always post here any time you need to :)

    Themys

  • Hey. Thanks very much for your reply, that was very helpful. I will look into that scheme you mentioned. I will also consider a GP as well as it is probably the best way forward. Thanks very much again. Have a nice day :)

  • An english or history teacher I guess from the clarity and insightfulness of your post. Your description rings bells with me, my life and feelings. I understand exactly what you describe. I am bipolar. I suffer from anxiety and depression; but in varying degrees at different times. I have enjoyed a professional career, despite my underlying mental health and despite it seemingly sabotaging it at regular intervals. At the beginning I didn't understand my condition; in the 1970's and 80's no one seemed to, including my GP. Since the 1990's there is a lot more knowledge, understanding and support available.

    You can learn practices that will help you. You can become comfortable in your own skin. Usually, I would recommend consulting your GP and trying counselling; it has in truth benefited me over the years. But given your career I can understand if you are reluctant to do so. Perhaps some loss counselling to start with, to deal with losing your Mum? It is such a huge loss, and something that will take a lot of coping with. But some counselling might help with coping mechanisms. You will never get over losing your Mum, no-one does. But her presence as a memory can be a comfort rather than a pain.

    And then there is the help of others and their insights. This forum has helped me considerably. There are very caring contributors, whose differing views have helped me enormously.

    You will be ok; and living life hopefully is better than the alternative

    Good luck

  • Hello! Your first sentence made me laugh a lot as you're right, history is my specialism. Your post in general has filled me with a lot of hope to be honest. I'm not very clear on how diagnosing mental health works but, like you, I don't feel as if I would drop into one category but I might be wrong. I suppose to label them categories in the first place isn't correct either.

    I have been in counselling twice over the last six years but both of them were through the education I was in (school and university) rather than through consulting a GP and that meant it was confidential and didn't need or have to go anywhere. It's now being exposed in real life where I think something negative could happen towards my career if I go and see a GP.

    Living is definitely something I would like to keep doing, though there has been times where I have thought otherwise for sure. I have days where I just don't want to function and feel extremely vacant in myself and it sounds quite similar to yours in that there's no real pattern. It seemingly comes and goes off its own accord.

    Your post has been very helpful and nice to read so thank you for posting. Hope you have a nice day/evening.

  • Hi there Winter93 Welcome to Action on Depression, so pleased you have joined us.

    Chloe

  • Isn't the stigma associated with mental health ridiculous? If you go to your doctor for headaches, no one thinks twice. Go to a therapist for your emotional health and people look at you sideways! You've taken a first step by coming to this site and opening up to this incredibly wonderful group. You'll be able to take that next step to see your healthcare providers. You've got so much on your plate. Unravel one issue at a time. Losing your mom is a big one. That's never easy, especially as a teen who really needs a mother's support. I promise you, though, she is never really far from you. You worry about your physical appearance? We all do. That's part of that, "I'm just not good enough, " self esteem issue stuff. I've always been a plain Jane, but men found me attractive when my self esteem was up. These days, I don't give a rat's behind what others think of my looks, so long as I'm taking care if myself. I'm almost 54 and dang it, I deserve to be a bit hippy, wrinkled, and gray. I earned it! You hang in there, breathe deeply, and know you're not alone.

  • Hi Alice. Thank you for posting. Unravelling one issue at a time is something I struggle to do so you mentioning that is great for me because it is something I need to work on. Self-esteem is another issue too that needs a lot of work and I suppose seeking the right help will get me there. The care-free attitude you elucidate in your writing is really refreshing and is something I should try more of as I'm quite often too uptight and harsh on myself I guess.

    Thank you for your comment and have a wonderful day/evening x

  • 😊

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