My worst psychotic episode yet

Hi everyone it's been a while. I've settled into my flat, but last Wednesday evening I went outside for a cigarette. Took a cup of tea with me like I do every evening. I sat on the flood gate steps, then started thinking of my mum. Before I knew it I was in tears. I moved onto a ledge so no one could see me to calm myself by looking at the boats lights shining on the sea water. Before I knew it all I could hear was cars going round a racing track. I done my breathing exercises which my mental health worker had told me to do when I hear voices. An hour and half later I knew I was in trouble I could still hear the cars going round the track. I was going crazy. I covered my ears I could still hear it. I could feel I was being swallowed in a big black hole that I couldn't get out of. I phoned the crisis team who told me to go back to my flat and have a bath. I said u don't understand I can not move, I am too scared to move I'm on a ledge I don't want to fall into the sea. She told me to call an ambulance. I called an ambulance told her what was going on. She was so concerned for me, it was the police who found me got me off the ledge. When we got to the road they asked what was wrong and I told them I just want the noise to stop, please make it stop and I fell to the floor. I was put into the back of the police car and taken to the station then they took me to hospital.

I have never felt that bad before. I thought I had my psychosis under control, but the voices are changing to noises and lasting longer. Wednesday evening was 3/4 hours. Does anyone else have or no of anyone with psychosis. How do they manage.? Any advice I would be grateful.

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3 Replies

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  • Claire I think your Dr. Is the bet person to help and advise you with this. Are you on medication? That usually controls the psychosis, if you feel you are not improving I would go back to your Dr.

    I have no direct experience with psychosis but I think you need to stay in touch with your crisis team. I think too everyone is different and different people have different experiences. I have a friend who was suffering from psychosis but she is on medication and has been very well since.

    Good luck and let us know how you are getting on.

    Hannah

  • hi Claire I'm 29 I have bipolar and I have had panic attacks on and off throughout my life I also experience paralysis in my sleep which is called sleep apnea .. The last time I suffered a panic attack every noise and voice was like I was decoding the world and I feared that I was going to slip into a coma state I couldnt control intensity of feelings I was freezing cold and felt stuck I could hear my own heart beat I felt so scared. It sounds like u have had extreme anxieties because ur overwhelmed in that moment and you feel out of control in your mind like ur mind is a computer and u feel like it is downloading so to speak and goes awol. That's best way I can put it . I also had voices back in 2006 and as a result I lost my baby boy as I was sectioned and persecuted I feel I cant trust authorities as they can make me feel ashamed but its such a real feeling . I watched video on youtube of stories with people who suffer pychosis . I dont have great advice all I know is with support and understanding and saftey this can prevent ongoing episodes but if u like me and feel noone relates they think ur over exaggerate it makes life alot more unpredictable .x I hope and pray we all take care with this unfortunate and scary period only god noes the outcome . God bless ... Samlou

  • God bless you for your strength! And you inspire me with your msg! I wish you all the very best!

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