Am I experiencing a Mixed Episode?

[ATypewriterForMe]

So, I've been under a lot of mental struggles for over a year; depression and anxiety. I've gone through thinking it was everything but began to ignore it the best I could. I've been incorporating a new diet too, nothing too drastic but still feel a tiny bit better. Could be a coincidence but my debilitating social anxiety seems to have disappeared. Now, I just feel utterly nothing; I've felt like this for ages but now it's so boring. I aspire to be a singer; for instance, I always get fast-changing, racing thoughts, obsessing over what genre it is, then my mind (After hours of staggering about the genre) goes on to 'I'm going to be moving to Argentina and run away'' then America, then somewhere else (just stupid things like that). Then, ages struggling with what my Image needs to look like, I feel dependent off copying celebrities, and how they live, I want so badly to be myself like this and usually get a headache after all of this, so indecisive. I've noticed as well for the past week (though I've always been like this to some degree) have become increasingly erratic, more so in speech. I'm very incoherent and ramble and ramble. It's affecting school, everything changes so fast in my mind and I have no clue what I am, or how to be. It's agonising, Like daily, Minutely if that's even a word. Can anybody give me some advice, This is really staring to attack me. (Edit - Feel unbelievably restless and agitated too)

[Suzie40]

I think if you’re still in school it’s possibly a bit early to be considering mixed episodes. Hormones run rife at this age and you can end up thinking and feeling all sorts of different things at one time. I remember nothing making any sense whatsoever in my teenage years. Have you talked to someone about how you’re feeling?

[ATypewriterForMe in reply to Suzie40]

Yes dear, I had a few incidents with Self harm, Drug abuse, and some other things ; nobody does anything at all tho. the only ones who try to help are the ones who cant do a thing sadly

[Priscillar307]

I conpletely relate to what you’re going through! Something I’ve learned about dealing with this along the way, is that we tend to not really deal w our emotions/ experiences the moment they happen to us, so instead of taking care of them at the time we should, we just brush them on and keep moving. But, this is only suppressing those feelings and eventually they just get harder and harder to deal with, resulting in anxious feelings. I think it’s great that you have at least noticed this before it gets worse. Something that helps me is analyzing my feelings when i feel myself becoming anxious instead of trying to distract myself from them and i usually find out that they stem from something much deeper than i realized. And it’s just a process to get better, not really sure if this helped or not, but I’m here to talk if u need it!

[ATypewriterForMe in reply to Priscillar307]

Thanks Boo

[MAS_Nurse]

Hello ATypewriterForMe and welcome to this caring forum. You mentioned "school" in your post and I just wondered about your age. Community guidelines state that you must be over 16 years of age to post on this forum. Thank you for reaching out for help. This must have been difficult for you. Would you feel comfortable about going to the Doctor and perhaps taking a family member or trusted friend with you? As Suzie40 has posted, as a teenager your hormones will be all over the place. It is often difficult to make sense of things, but you need to seek some medical advice. Also, is there a counselling service at your school where you can go for help and support? As Priscillar307 has posted, it is good that you have noticed this and are taking some steps to seek some help. Please stay on the forum where you will be supported by other members.

If you are in the UK and are feeling distressed, please call--

The Samaritans Freephone 116 123 [24 hour helpline] 7 days a week

If you are outside of the UK, please have a look at the pinned posts on the screen where you will find Crisis Helpline numbers. Please remember that you are not alone and keep posting. Thank you and best wishes.

[ATypewriterForMe in reply to MAS_Nurse]

School, Sorry I call college school still