ive not been on here for sometime as i thought i was coping ! ive realised lately im fell back a bit as im really missing my mum its only been 3 months and i really wish she was still here ! ive been crying a lot lately i feel washed out ive had periods were im fine and then i have a dark period if that makes any sense ive got a great support network my wife and my sister have been amazing but i sometimes think its getting to much for them ! thank you for taking the time to read this post ! david


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28 Replies

  • Oh I can sympathise David. My Mum died 3 years ago and it still hurts - I miss her so. It will get better and grief will turn into a lovely memory but time is what it will take. Go with it, you have to adjust to life without her and it hard. She will always be with you in spirit if not in body as mine is. X

  • hi there thank you for your kind works im the same as you i like to think my.mums with me in spirit i also feel im letting her down being so upset which makes me feel selfish ! again thank you for your help.david x

  • No, you are not letting her down and you are not being selfish. You are grieving and it's still raw and painful. Give yourself time. Although it's three years since my Mum passed it still hurts but I can now look back on her life and smile. You will too. I have a picture of her on my dressing table and see her everyday. I don't know if you have visual reminders of your Mum around your house but it helps me. Take care. Sending you healing thoughts. X

  • thank you for your reply im sorry you lost your mum also ! ive heard somewhere that men are closer to there mums that why it hits them hard ! again thank you for your kind words god bless you david

  • Hi David and good to see your Post pop up, I'm sorry your feeling sad, but Grief

    Takes a long time and there will be ups and downs. When I lost my Partner six years ago, It was horrific but bit by bit I started to heal, but the first year after his death

    Was very very tough , so David don't expect to be dancing around the room. The only

    Thing is that your Mum was older and it's a fairly natural thing to lose our parents.

    Your late Mum would not want you to be feeling so miserable and sad, think of

    The good support that you have and realise that this hurt that your feeling must be

    Hard on your wife and your sister, your sister will be grieving too. Take it day by

    Day and time will help too. David I'm always around for a chat, and I will keep

    You in my prayers.


  • Ah Hannah I'm so sorry for your loss. Death is horrible. It's so final. You just have to live with it. But as usual your unselfish and lovely reply always helps people with their own situation. X

  • hi hannah it was nice to see your still in the group ! as ive said allready ready said to others i didnt realise it would be so difficult when you lost some one so close ! im looking at it easing with time as others have said it will ! my sister also said it will take time as its still early days yet ! as i said its nice to see your still on here take care god bless david !

  • hi hannah nice to see your reply as i know you are a kind person ! maybe im expecting to much to soon ! i try talking to my mum but it sometimes upsets me she was the one i could to talk to and she isnt here but that selfish as at least shes not in pain anymore ! god bless you hannah x

  • hi there its hard when someone you love dearly departs from us, it leaves a wound that at the moment doesn't seam to heal, just to let you know i lost my dad in 2001 and it still hurts to think that my dad is no longer with me and like you suffering with depression doesn't help either, the only thing i can say whether is help to bring you some comfort i know what your going through, and i'm always here for you if needed even if its for a good moan or shoulder to learn on, my thoughts and prayers are with you, i just hope this help just to know your not a lone take care i'm Alan xx

  • thank you so much for your advice i have indeed got a great support network a wonderfull wife and a great family my sister has being great ! i didnt realise would be so hard to miss someone but groups like this are a great help.! thanks for your advice alan !

  • hi there that's what friends are for is to help and if possibly try and comfort were we can, its great that you have a wonderful family to support you and there's many on here with you all the way take care, the pain never goes but it does get easier in time your welcome anytime my friend Alan

  • hi alan thank you for taking the time to answer my post a lot of what you say makes so much sense ! im sorry for your loss i think im expecting to much to soon ! god bless you alan !

  • hi there Hannah, any time you need any help you know where i am if you what a shoulder to learn on take care, may i send you a hug to help speak to you soon your friend Always Alan xx

  • Hi Alan how are things with you? Hope your ok.


  • hi Hannah sorry for not replying i'm like a dog's bark at the moment, not knowing which way to turn next, still got a bit of trouble with my stomach, got to go for an ECG tomorrow what for i'm not sure, then on Wednesday its my yearly MOT for my diabetes and then i'm waiting for a date to go and have another brain scan, my psoriasis is playing up my face looks like a stop sign, my head hurt, my ears have more dry flakes than bran flakes my chest looks like i've got ringworm but its the psoriasis, i've spent more time on the toilet this weekend then all of this year up to yet, i'm just so fed up feeling, what a life. i bet you fed up of mre moaning, sorry, hope things are better for you than me speak to you soon hopefully, your friend Alan xx

  • Oh David I really feel for you as I lost my mum 2 1/2 years ago now. I still miss her and always will (and my dad too and he died 7 years ago). I still think about them both a lot. You will always miss her but if you go through the grieving process properly you will start to remember the good times more than the bad.

    Be patient with yourself. It's only been 3 months and it will take longer than that. Lean on those who love you and talk about her as much as you need to. A big hug for you. Bev xx

  • hi there i know it will get better but how long i dont know it will take ! i have a great support network around me but they say it will take time and there to help in the mean time thank you for your help god bless you ! xx

  • There is no time limit on grief love, everyone goes through it in their own good time. But go through it you must or there is a chance you will get stuck in the process and might need bereavement counselling. Bev xx

  • Why dont you consider going to grief counselling they really do help...People think its part of life and we should just be able to cope with it but failing eye site is a natural part of life and we get glasses to help with it. Grief is hard and tireing and can be all consuming so we should take all the help we can get x

  • my doctor suggested that i will look into it soon thank you for your reply !

  • Hello

    If your problem is the loss of your Mother, three months is not long enough, you could be looking at two years or so before you will complete your moving on

    You need to talk out your feelings and that will help to put your loss in some form of context.

    One way you do this is to remember not only the bad, also the good things in that relationship, the more you talk the easier it will come.

    Death is a big part of life and we all need to understand life is temporary and some feel we are put here to learn. We meet those at the far side and if we feel that way death is a celebration when we pass over as we meet those who have gone before.

    The death of those we love is never easy, we can never correct this loss, it will always happen, no-one can intervene when death is the only option that we will see and experience.

    All I can suggest here is that you have words with your GP, He may have options that will help you to move on.

    We can stamp our feet, scream and shout, many will suffer like you each year.

    Sad to say we cannot do anything about that passing of a loved one or those around us

    Be kind to yourself, We are always around for that chat, if needed


  • thank you for your reply bob im just wishing if wasnt so hard losing someone i loved her so much ive got great memories of. her i know she was plagued with ill health for some time i just miss her so much finding it hard but im hoping it eases with time god bless you mum xx

  • David it is never easy, life is never easy. We all just do our best to be strong and help others in our families in getting over the losses we suffer through our decades

    Generally I always feel if I can do all I can for those in their final days, my conscience is clear. If you can feel that way, that is all you family members can expect of us, we can in a way feel we have helped that person cross over and comfort ourselves without to much sadness


  • Hi David

    I'm another person that has lost their mum. It was a year ago this month and i have to say the first Christmas without her has been very hard. People say it takes up to two years for a grieving period so i think you have a little way to go yet. I miss my mum every day and i love her no different now than when she was here. I suffer depression too so losing someone close would never be easy. Some people just cope but we are all different and you must be a very sensitive person to be suffering as you are.

    Take each day as it arrives, get up in the mornings and talk to her,tell her what you're doing, ask her which shirt you should wear, sounds mad I know but give it a go, try not to feel so sad, make out she's still here and each day will get a little easier eventually.

    Best wishes David.


  • Celtic2746 I was so sorry to hear that you've lost your mother.

    Sounds like you need a good shoulder to cry on.

    And a good ear to listen to your woes and problems.

    I'am a good listener and anytime you want to talk I'll alway's be here for you Celtic 2746.

  • david,

    it will take time for wounds to heals. my mum passed away 7 years ago and i can understand how you feel. You have a wife and with her a life to move forward with so don't let the passing away of your mum get the better of you, and your relationship. sometimes talking helps. maybe talk to your sister and see how she feels and share your feelings with each other by going for a walk.

    Your mum played a her part as a mother in bring you and your sister up and as a friend in the lives of her friends and family so think of it as she's done her dues in her life and now she has moved on. she has given you a life by bring you up, taught you things about it and now it's your time to put that knowledge into practice. let her be proud that you have moved on with your life with your wife on a new journey.

    see how you get on and bereavement is ok and natural but please realize that one day you need to slowly turn the other way and move forward. you may remember your mum in years to come but slowly that will lessen as you become more occupied with your life. people may also ask you about your mum and it will test you to be strong and you will need to learn to be strong and this experience you will gain will allow you to help someone else like a friend or relative.

  • ho loggershot

  • hi loggershot sorry ive not replied to you for a while ! im trying to take one day at a time but lately ive been having bad headaches im taking brufen but it doesnt always work ! going to see my dad soon and see how hes coping ! god bless you david !!