DEPRESION NO ANSWER

[ladyTina]

Hello. I don't no how to write it down but I will have ago!! My first time doing this. I suffer with Depresion + Anxiety. 3 years ago I wanted my life to end been through a lot of mental abusive from Husband whom was cheating on me. At that time nothing had changed life was the same. We had our own business, 4 bedroom home, Happy, loving, fished together. Only one thing I noticed his mobile phone. Any way that's how I found out. BUT I forgive him worse mistake he done it again. I felt I had lost every thing to be honest I did. I divorced him, he took,smashed,sold, Any thing of mine inclueding personal photo's of my mom & dad. Grandchildren. Now he is getting married claiming his life is perfect living in her own house. Me in a flat but not like any flat a lot of old people which is not helping my Depresion. I have had councilling. Then twice I have had opointments with councellors but second opintment don't go back. Why? I'm a shamed of my self letting me get so low. I just don't no what to do...Yes I'm on medication + sleeping tablets off my doctor. I still hate life and just don't no how to pull my self out of it. I do have a new partner but feel I'm pushing away from him Why??

[Hidden]

Hi it took you a long time to feel this way and it will take a time to start to feel better. Counselling will help you I'm sure, so the best way to help yourself is to go and continue to go. It might take a while before you find the right counsellor, and of course if you can afford it going privately will enable you to have more choice and will be a lot quicker.

The only other things you can do are self help. You can access CBT online, and mindfulness as well. If you want to be happier then you must work on yourself. This might be stating the obvious but it is nevertheless true for that. x

[ladyTina in reply to Hidden]

I just feel nobody realy understand how a person feels in side. On the out side I were a mask, but I am crumbling under it. I have looked on line many times but to talk to my computer to them I no, is not right for me. I would prefer somebody to come to me, because most times I don't want to go out.

[Hidden in reply to ladyTina]

Well we do LadyTina, you are not alone anymore. this site is always here for you.

Oh and I am a firm believer in Karma. Your ex will one day suffer for what he did to you I assure you.

I can imagine how frustrating it is when you know you are in the right but everyone believes your ex is wonderful. Don't forget you can fool all the people some of the time and some people all the time, but you can't fool everyone all the time. One day others will see him for what he really is.

The best way for you to continue is to get the help you need and make sure you have the best life possible. No matter how difficult it is the worst thing you can do is shut yourself away as this will only make you feel worse. Start fighting back when you have regrouped a bit and don't let the b..... win. x

[ladyTina in reply to Hidden]

Your very kind with your words. I do believe in KARMA. I just don't understand how a person whom supposed to love you so much and repeat how he would marry me over again and grow old together. Then turns so Nasty because he got found out again, while I was having a break down. I stayed at my friends for 3 weeks, when I went home he cleared everything out from the house, wiped £3,000 out the joint account then blocked everything. We had our joint business. He made sure I had no Money. We both still in the same house for two years while Divorce was going on I had a double bed of a friend, locked my self behind the door, so much to say that is not all of it. I feel Degraded, humiliated, striped, lost my identity. I want him to suffer lose the business it was in debt, his marriage fail, he has known her for 40 years went to school together, all went to the same school he was engaged to her sister way, way, before me he cheated on her!! But her other sister she has her own house lives on the canal, ( we both fished he is obsessed with fishing and night fishing that's how he done is first affair I didn't go I had a knee replacement) she seems desperate to be married she has known my ex for 40 years. When we Divorced he had nowhere to live only his dad he is using her very clever with words. BUT WHY DOES THIS BOTHER ME SO!!! I want to move on but my brain will not let me...Look I just go on,& on I need to stop this but how??

[Hidden]

You have gone th rough a very nasty period of your life and your ex husband has walked away with many things of your life and family especially personal, meaning things and it will take time to recover from that loss

It was a shame you did not feel CBT was for you, because you felt unworthy of a strangers help. You need to talk out your sadness worries and fears and take some new directions, you have started this when you found someone new, the problem is you feel the need to be comforted and encouraged to look for better future.

Talk to your GP and arrange some AD medications, ask again for some CBT and explain to him you were not ready to have help and understanding from Strangers

You have made a first tentative step here, you get well we are here

[ladyTina in reply to Hidden]

I am on medication sertraline 100mg A day, I feel I've been striped and finding it hard to move on as for CBT So many questions to put you with the right person, then go again to a different one. It would not be so bad if you just seen one person from the start. or come to my home I have to travel that's the problem most times I shut my self away. Lost my parents through this, lost my grandchildren. I am the good person my ex is the bad one put every one thinks he is Mr wonderful. I want to scream loud..

[Hidden]

How can I help ?

I had bad family members so I understand how you must feel.

Sometimes we need to talk to a CPN who can actually relate to your concerns and help you come to terms with your Depression and help you move on.

I was forced to make deep far reaching decisions and when I made them my life changed for the better.

You need to accept your loss and allow others to help you. You are needing to heal. and be kind to yourself by forgetting those who have done you harm and stop dwelling on the hurt as if you cannot do that your are hurting yourself. You are worth more to yourself than that.

We are here to help

B.

[ladyTina in reply to Hidden]

I do hurt in side, it's not Anger or scorned lady I'm not like that. I do seam to sit crying feeling sorry for my self, and wonder why did this all go wrong, I did blame my self but it can't be my fault all I done was love him very much, I just wanted to know why did he do it. When I asked him he said he didn't no. To me it need to close. But How?

[Hidden]

With me I managed closure, by a distraction of something new, in my case I sold up and moved away, As far as those who did us harm, they do not know where we have gone and it has been as complete as a new birth. We are at peace now and this has given us time to reassess our lives and wake up to new mornings, and coffee mornings.

We live out in the countryside now and we breathe fresh air in more ways than one.

We have no children because of our past life, although I do not feel that would have made any difference to our lives now. What it has done however is given us closure and allowed us to grieve on what we have lost.

To ask why? will just hold you back and you will not move on, we never really know why because generally the ex Partner interests cannot be understood by those who have been wronged.i fact He will not know Himself, and look onto His new interests. What has been has now passed, we cannot ask What If, Now act positive and ask what now. It is a strength to walk into a new sunrise and so goodbye to a problematic day.

Whatever you decide weather you go or stay, be positive in your outlook, your upsetting past has moved on. We all learn from those periods in our lives

Keep a hold

B.

[ladyTina in reply to Hidden]

I don't live near were the house is... its sold, people have stripped it. I am on the outskirts. My stepson has not spoken to his dad since all this started he even found out about lies he told about his Mother. My stepson thought I was at his call 24/7 with having my granddaughter whom is 13 years old. it was me always going out my way to see them and not once come to see me. My granddaughter is very much a green eyed monster over my new partner of ( 3 years) the 6 weeks holiday I don't no why but she had it in her head I was having her, I did explain I love her very much but nanny is trying to move forward she was not very nice on the phone. not seen her for 2 months she did phone every day about her parents problems she could do anythink right crying down the phone, I would go and pick her up take her for a meal. But when I got home I cried feeling used and lied to!! My step son demanded me to travel from Tenbury wells and have my granddaughter for over the weekend. I did say I'm sorry I can't he was nasty and put the phone down on me. Not heard of him in 3weeks. So I think its time now for me to cut loose of that bad negativity. Why? one day he will make up with his dad and all I will hear is what he is doing, I can't allow that. I just hope it's the right decision. If my stepson was seeing his dad when divorce was going on I wonder if he would of thought much about me then!! I think its time for his da my ex to have some him self now, not me. I feel quite strong about that but it does up set me to allow them also to manipulate me. As I said so much in my brain stored wished I could block all of it out.

[ladyTina]

It's been 7 days since I have been out The House, this is the worse one for me Normal 3 Days I force my self. Don't now why I can't this time does any body on here go through this and what help's them? I would be grateful.... How to push your self out that front door? Even my friend came Saturday I still could not do it...

[Matrix]

I'm not surprised your depressed after what you have been through its no wonder . Please don't be ashamed your faithless ex husband should be though . What you need is to get out and especially now the nights are getting dark early ,being outside will help your depression it's a proven fact .Do you feel as if you could do something like voulenteer and help someone ,I did a church coffee morning for over 25 years untill I was unable .It was mostly older people but I loved them and made many friends that I treasured and it helped me so much.Just hold your head up do t let him win because he will probably do the same to his new wife .You have so much to offer . Take care xx ps very big welcome to the site xx

[ladyTina in reply to Matrix]

Thank you for your kind word's. I am Normally a happy, bubble person lovable heart. But he did break me. I have just brought on line make your own bath bombes see if that help's!! it's a start.

[Matrix in reply to ladyTina]

You are welcome sweetie and I think doing something creative like you are going to do will help you so much . I'm a crafter and it has been my saviour in lots of ways . Now you have to rebuild yourself and don't let him win , you are lovely and you deserve better . Show me a picture when you make your bath bombs . Where do you live by the way ,I live in south of England . Xx

[ladyTina in reply to Matrix]

Worcestershire. I will put a photo up.

[Matrix in reply to ladyTina]

Not that far from me in Gloucestershire . Be lovely to see the fruits of your labour . X x

[ladyTina in reply to Matrix]

Thought I would let you no, I didn't do any I can't it's a battling struggle every day for me, not only my depression but panic Attacks with the out side world. Also in a lot of pain from L/R Knee replacements..L/R Thumb joint replaced, shoulder injections. Disc degenerated in my back. so I seem to suffer all round. I cry most days, stay in week after week struggle with everyday things from morning to night. I live on my own, lost a lot of friends, well maybe they were real. I hate life to be honest I feel I'm not heard!!