loosing the plot

[roxy1976]

A suffer from anxiety depression I come home from my nightshift on wed morning to my boyfriend and his son had left with all there belongings with no explanation I welcomed them into my house last year we didn't have any problems.ive called him he told me he had a big bust up with his son etc and was taking him back to his own place to teach him a lesson and he won't answer phone to me now or txts this has been the worst thing ever I can't sleep eat I've lost one stone from weds a just can't settle down getting feelings of ending my life

[Hidden]

OH NO.

Seems more to this than he is letting on, so sorry for you stress, depression is horrible, try and stay strong and take each day as it comes, easier said than done I know. I have been off work now for nearly 6 months with depressions/stress being bullied for the second time by the NHS, but thankfully my family have supported me and my wonderful GP and am coming through the other side, talk about it to those who care and who you trust and hopefully the truth will come out.

[Suzie40 in reply to Hidden]

That's a lovely reply. I have a good friend who felt bullied when working for the NHS and it affected her tremendously.

[Hidden in reply to Suzie40]

I do as well. She took them to a tribunal and won a substantial amount. She told me bullying is rife in the NHS Bev x

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Yes it is, I am talking with a solicitor now, got that far, shame, what a waste of money, just need to get rid of management who don't care.

[Suzie40]

That's must have been an horrendous shock to come home to. Had there been no signs or indicators that he was going to leave? I'm also wondering if there was more to this than just an argument with his son, and perhaps that version of events is his way of trying not to make you feel responsible for him leaving? Whatever the truth, I think it was cowardly to do what he has done and it has clearly left you feeling awful x

[roxy1976 in reply to Suzie40]

No there was no signs he dropped me off at work said lasagne garlic bread for tea tomorrow and gave me a kiss and spoke about taking me out for a meal valentines day .

I'm totally a mess I've been there from him helped him so much in the past etc a just can't get my head around it its pure torture xx

[roxy1976 in reply to Suzie40]

No never argued once all was fine he dropped me off at work gave me kiss and said see you tomorrow when I get home from work..I'm so low just can't settle xx

[WantToChange]

Oh my gosh, I'm sorry. I can't even imagine that, Hun. I suffer from anxiety too and I'd be going insane with this.

I do know how you feel about putting your trust in someone and letting them into your life. I have been let down a lot by men. But do you know what? Maybe you need to give him his space... If what he says is true and he is having issues with his son then you need respect that his son comes first in his life.

Right now is a difficult time because you're kind of stuck i limbo. There is no way for you to know if he is telling the truth or not. Men do tend to prefer to deal with things on their own instead of asking for help. Which I knwo frustratng because we are desperate to help where we can.

So what I think you should do is give it some more time. If he doesn't contact you this week then he is most likely playing you and you are better off without him. But you need to be patient just now to see what happens. At least you know they are both safe. Don't endlessly leave him missed calls coz that tends to be over-bearing and pushes people away. He will get in touch if and when he wants to. I know this sucks, but this is what people can do. Sometimes people just shut off and can only deal with one thing at one time. Perhaps he hasn't been in touch because he doesn't want to explain what's going on between him and his son? There are many possibilities, Hun.

I know it's easier said than done but try to be patient and see what happens because there's not actually anything you can do right now. You never know, he may come back and feel very grateful for your patience :). I don't want to get your hopes up that he will come back as there seems to be more to the situation than he's letting on but there is a chance it will all blow over xx

[roxy1976 in reply to WantToChange]

Thank you.i no am stuck in limbo it's such a horrible thing and I'm in just leaving him be av tried to contact but no response just can't believe he could just do this esp when I'm the one that's been there for him.still can't eat constant knotted stomach xx

[WantToChange in reply to roxy1976]

If you've tried to contact him this really is unfair. Perhaps he is a tosser.

Yep, I've been there! It's more likely to happen than not to be honest. I always tried to help my ex's and they all dumped me, I tried especially hard with the last bf. Kinda giving up on dating tbh lol xx

[roxy1976 in reply to WantToChange]

Oh a don't want another man in my road after this trust me

his mum contact me today and said he isn't answer her calls either so he must be in one of his moodys..just leave him be when he like that his father was the same used to dissappear well am not putting up with that he has me a nervous wreck xx

[Hidden]

Hi I agree with everyone. What an awful thing to do to you and I would be surprised if you weren't going out of your mind with worry. Sounds a bit like a cad! x

[Suzie40 in reply to Hidden]

What's a cad??

[Photogeek in reply to Suzie40]

Lucy a cad means a chancer or someone who is liable

To pull a fast one. Hope you know what these terms mean,

I'm trying to be polite here.

Hannah

[21esme in reply to Photogeek]

Lol. Or a bounder.

[Photogeek]

Roxy I'm sorry your so upset. Now you say they only moved in

Last year, so you can survive without them.

What they did was fairly cowardly and it doesn't make much sense. It's

Not worth making yourself ill over someone who would do this to you.

Sorry for being direct and I know you have given few details, please

Look after yourself and visit your GP.

You have no control over what your boyfriend does or doesn't , but

You have control over how you react.

Hannah

[21esme]

Oh Poppet,

What a cr***y thing to happen. You don't deserve to be treated this way but unfortunately you can't make him answer his phone or respond to your texts. It sounds incredibly cowardly. I'm not sure you are going to get any answers from him.

As Hannah says you survived without him and you will survive again. Please go and see your GP and get some immediate help,

Sarah x

[roxy1976]

Thanks guys I slept one hour last night and done a 12 hour shift today at work I don't no how I managed let me tell you it was with great difficulty .I'm so stressed and anxiety levels are soaring.still can't eat and this knot in my stomach is horrible.just wish I got answers.i am trying not to contact again.no one deserve to be treated like this its just cruel.we never argued one bit all was good

[Findingme]

I am so sorry to hear what happened . You must be very upset. I don't want to speculate on why this happrned, but as it did, can you think about damage control so it doesn't get worse? It might be a good idea to change the locks so you can control who comes into your house. Did your boyfriend have access to anything that makes you vulnerable. I don't wish to scaremonger and I'm probably way out of order, but I tend to think better safe than sorry. You don't have to accuse him of anything, and if it turns out he had some good reason for his behaviour, I think he would understand. If he doesn't understand I would question whether he has any consideration for your feelings at all.

[roxy1976 in reply to Findingme]

locks being changed today don't want him trying g to come in here whilst am at work but don't think I can go into work I can't stop these horrible feelings of anxiety off am constantly churning insides.i just feel terrible this isn't fair.xx

[Findingme]

I know, it's an awful feeling. The not knowing is sometimes the worst thing . If your boss is understanding then a day off might be for the best. Try to get some rest. Everything looks worse when exhausted . I am sure everything will get sorted and you will not help yourself by getting run down, do remember to eat too. As soon as you can though, I would advise getting back into your normal routine and don't sit home worrying. If this can be worked out it will be, and if not it won't, but either way you need your job. Best of luck. And keep in touch. Xxx

[roxy1976 in reply to Findingme]

I'm tryn to eat but can't it's giving me the heave. I'm a nurse and hoping I can get through this I really wished I felt better just can't shake these horrible feelings no energy for nothing just want to lie in dark room can't stop crying xx

[Findingme]

I feel so sad for you, this sucks . I wish I could do something. I promise it gets better, although you might not believe it right now. Sending love and hugs.

[roxy1976]

Thanks so much I no it will in time a just wish I could feel better thnks for talking to me xx

[Photogeek]

Hi Roxy I hope your ok. I think all you can do is carry on your normal routine.

I know you must be very upset and shocked, but it would be far worse if

You were married to him and had a child. I would not try and contact him,

You deserve to be treated far better than this, and just try and take it one day

At a time. Each day you will get stronger.

Hannah xx

[roxy1976 in reply to Photogeek]

Thank you am trying hard it's very difficult today ain't been the best to be honest..his mother spoke to me today she has tried to contact him also and he ain't answering phone to her either she said he will be in one of his moods.im not contact him haven't from Monday xxx