Feelings

[Doslunas]

I hate going out, I fear crowded places, I get angry and very agitated, I don't even want to go to see the doctor, I've ran out of my sertraline, and I can't bring myself to go get more.

All I do is sleep, I'm in pain all the time, every time I go out I get diahrea, I sit and cry a lot , I can't get on with my family, I'm so low at times, I can't and don't want to talk about it, I feel as though no one cares anyway,

I have stopped looking after myself, I use baby wipes rather than shower, it makes me sad, I know it's wrong but can't seem to change, I was never as bad as this, I have not worked in two years, my husband looks after the house and bills. I have no money what so ever, so even if I wanted to run away I can't.

How do I change this, how can I turn this around, I've tried and nothing helps.

[klingonjl62]

Hi. What have you tried?

[Ohitzidris]

Hi Doslunas!

Well, I kinda understand your situation (not exactly, but partially). I've felt a similar way a few years back and believe me when I say that the best way to get rid of what you're feeling right now is to get out of the house more and (optional) socialise with people. It's not easy.. well it never is. There is always that little you in the back of your head (or maybe just a feeling of some sort) that is always against the fact that you're getting out of your shell, and i'll admit it, she is convincing. You really just have to go against her and just put yourself out there. You do not have to rush things and go completely out of your comfort zone, but you can't stay at home all day and let your fear get the best of you. Seeing how you mentioned that you're married, maybe try to go on holiday or even take a walk around town with your husband. When you feel more confident in yourself, you can make an attempt to go out by yourself. Its a long process and takes a lot of commitment, though I advise you to think of your family and husband when doing this. Think about how it hurts them to see you like this and don't just make this change for you alone, but for them as well. Running away is the worst option you can make at this point since it only just makes matters worse.

If I was you, I'd walk around my neighbourhood during the night. It's nice and peaceful, since not many people are on the streets (Though as a female, you may not want to be walking alone). I would also talk to my spouse. I'd like to think that since we're bond by vows that we both promised, we should live up to them and have full trust in each other. Lastly, DO NOT oversleep. Honestly, that can cause depression and destroy your will to do anything. I don't really think you need a doctor or anti-depressants (Like, I do think if all else fails then sure let the doctor be the last option). You simply just need to act and DO WHAT'S BEST FOR YOU!!

Goodluck!

[equilibrium123]

What an awful feeling of being powerless. You have had some good advice below and in small steps you must try dealing with each situation. Set your self sleep and waking patterns, routine your showering, can you exercise or go for walks?. Do you feel you have the power to make your own life or is their an element of someone controlling it?.

What are your beliefs about yourself?

[Doslunas in reply to equilibrium123]

I feel powerless to change, I have no control, everything is done by my husband, I'm not my own person, but can't find the way out. My mental health is controlling my life. I used to be so independent and now I can't even go to the shop alone. I'm working on changing, but don't know where to start.

[sweetiepye]

Hello , I could have written this myself 30 years ago, and in those days there weren't many options .To really give you the answer in a nut shell it is this. You have to face your fears and do whatever you are anxious about. Yes, I know how over whelming and frightening that sounds. It's important that you break it down into manageable parts. Get use to one thing and be comfortable with it before you go on to another. Start getting up each day, have a shower and dress. Do this and it will become a habit and you will feel so much better. Keep seeing your Doctor, do not miss taking your meds. it will mess you up, and consider going to counseling. If you feel the medicine you're on isn't working ask your Doc. if you could try another. There are tons of them. You can get over this, it takes courage, and time so be kind to yourself. I'm here and willing to listen, and sending good positive thoughts your way. Pam

[Doslunas in reply to sweetiepye]

Thank you

[Doslunas]

Thank you to all who replied, I have had counselling twice, and I'm back to where I was before I started, the meds don't help, I honestly do try, I forced myself into the shower, it's hard to do anything being so tired all the time, I'm not that active, I'm over weight, I'm only small so being heavy is a big problem, I don't carry it well, I refuse to tell my son how I feel, I don't want to worry him, I have four siblings, none of them will talk to me,

The only person who listens is my husband, and he does not understand, if I get out of bed, I'm so tired within an hour of being up, I sleep all day, then sleep all night, I look so tired I have black rings and bags under my eyes, and all I do is yawn, it feels like I've aged so quickly.

I feel sad most of the time, I keep asking myself why I'm like this, and my only answer is it's psychological, from my childhood, but struggle to find ways to make things better.

[sweetiepye]

I think if you're feeling that bad and I believe you, you need to ask your Doctor to send you to some specialists . Your problems are going from mental to physical , it's obviously more than self help can help. You need to sleep, losing weight will help. I struggle with both of these. Once I started sleeping I started losing weight and I have enough energy to exercise . So think about your worst problem and start there or wait for a Dr. to advise you. Sleep studies are helpful. I don't think it matters so much about your childhood, how do you feel now, what bothers you as an adult? Get out of the house even if it's to sit in your yard. You need to move your body. Start small. Pam

[Doslunas in reply to sweetiepye]

Thank you, I will make an appointment with my doctor, I'm in the process of trying to loose weight, I drink aloe Vera gel every day, it supposed to be good for weight loss and help with depression. I honestly hate being like this, I joined this group, in the hope for some help, and it's a start, thank you for taking time to help me. I will try to change my sleep pattern, there maybe some under lying problem that's causing fatigue, I have colitis it could be playing a part, but I know that I can't go on like this, I have no quality of life. Hannah

[sweetiepye]

Sounds like a plan, Hannah.Let me know how it's going. You'll make it. Pam

[equilibrium123]

To reinforce every piece of great advice you have received. You really will have to face and expose yourself to every situation and anxiety you have. It is only by desensitisation of your sensations that you will be able to control or release the fears and sadness. Remember as well acceptance because it is ok to not feel on top of every thing or unwell all of the time.