I think I have bipolar and I can't survive to my next counselling session.

[JamieLou]

I have struggled throughout life with relationships, I always fail to accept that someone could love me. I push people away. I'm in one now that I really want to keep, I've been getting counselling and tried meds. I started to see improvements but I'm really unhappy at work (as I have been in all jobs I have tried) although I am less paranoid in general about losing my partner, and we have started to argue less, I still turn to her often when I am at work, I tell her how anxious and depressed I feel when I'm here, but I can't see an escape or another option. It's really starting to get to her. We fell out about it last night and now I'm feeling desperately low and alone again. I feel like I'm not going to make it to my next counselling session. I feel as though it can't just be normal depression and anxiety, I can't kick it. I don't know if I will ever be able to stay happy for more than a week even with support, and when I'm low I feel like I can't go on. I'm hiding in the bathroom at work because I can't face the job or the people. I don't think my counsellor knows how bad I am and I only have two funded sessions left. I don't know what to do.

[Goldfish_]

Try and make the best of what you have. You presumably don't want to lose your job, so need to keep on top of that. Then one day at a time doing mindfullness, distractions, keeping busy, avoiding ruminations and taking up social opportunities. It's probably the reverse to how you feel like spending your time, but important to avoid further deterioration.