Saw my CPN again today and she said I was depressed!!

[raymond47]

No wonder I am having a hard time. We just went over the old ground again of utilising coping strategies and I need to get back on track.

I told her I was tired and could not be bothered as everything was pointless and it didn't matter how many coping strategies I have it doesn't make any difference. I know I'm feeling sorry for myself.

She said maybe I need a medication review, but I don't want to take any more medication as am on two antidepressants and antipsychotic already and feel so tired as they are all sedating.

Seeing her again next week when she will expect me to have put some effort in. I feel like saying to her you get up at 6.30 and go swimming before work. Know its not her fault I feel like this and don't want to sound ungrateful but I am just feeling low, tired and defeated.

[Photogeek]

Hi Raymond it is hard fighting it all the time but its worth the effort. Try to not resent

Her it's not her fault that your not feeling the best. Take it day by day

Or hour by hour. Get plenty of sleep too as it will help the mood.

Hope you feel better soon.

Hannah

[Holly101]

She sounds clever Raymond, how she worked that out!

Unbelievable isn't it, and they get paid bucket-loads for it... And yes, we know what we're supposed to do,

positive self-talk, exercise, not isolate etc etc..... I wish they could just experience ONE day of one of our bad days,

and see if they'd go out for a walk in the pishing rain to feel better, or like you said, get up in the middle of the night (well, just about) and go swimming! (Are swimmingbaths evenopened at that time?!)

It's all so easy for them to say, and the annoying thing is they're right, because all those things do make you

feel better.

But when you're right in the middle of a deep, dark, seemingly never-ending pit of despair, the last thing you're gonna do is any of those things....

I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time, I know how you feel and it will pass, in the meantime, just

try and talk to us on here, and anyone out there if you're lucky enough to have someone like that, and go for a walk round the block if you feel that's all you can manage.

(But just tell her you went hillwalking, they're nearly the same )

Wishing you all the best and hope you feel a bit better soon,

Love n encouragement,

Holly Xxx

[Gambit62]

A few months ago I got quite down about the report my GP had done to work on me after a recent bout of depression which talked about making a complete recovery. I talked to the counsellor about it and he said something about it being more about I would get back to where I was before - I still don't quite get what the counsellor meant - or what the GP may have meant but I'm prepared to believe that I was reacting to what I saw/read rather than what other people may have seen or read.

Just sharing that because sometimes people say things and we misinterpret them and may be what your CPN was trying to say isn't the same as what you heard.

Getting up at 6.30 to go swimming before work does sound exhausting. I get up about 6.55 to do some exercise and go for a run ... I definitely don't get up to go for a run 'before I go to work'. I hope that makes sense. Sometimes it isn't what we do that is important so much as how we view what we do.

A medication review wouldn't necessarily mean moving to another medication that made you feel sedated but might help get you to one that didn't make you feel sedated at all.

Hope that this hasn't made you feel as pissed as hell with me though if it has done I will so totally understand :).

And don't worry about feeling sorry for yourself - the important word in that sentence is 'feeling' so you are feeling something. The interpretation does sound like a bit of the negative voices winning the day.

and good on you for managing to get up and go for a swim.

[Photogeek]

Hi Gambit try not to dwell on the report. Maybe you feel a bit pressured

To make a " complete recovery " whatever that is. And realistically do we ever go back

To where we were before, I believe we change all the time. I don't really have a lot

Of faith in counselling, it's only one persons opinion.

You seem like a strong person so don't over analize it too much. Sometimes we begin

To dwell on pointless stuff when our mood dips. Try and do something nice

For yourself and cut yourself some slack.

Hugs

Hannah

[Gambit62 in reply to Photogeek]

Thanks Hannah - I think I've let go of the report - and things are more or less back to normal at work now - just that Raymond's post reminded me of it as an example of a time where I've interpreted something someway but later realised that it may have meant something else.

If I'm honest things are probably better than they were before because I'm using more mindfulness to control my stress levels so stress levels aren't escalating quite so badly.

[Suzie40]

Mine spent half my session on Monday trying to decide what book prescription to give me? I don't like to imagine what they get paid for this!