First Post-Worried about myself.

Hey I'm Lottie,

Over the course of a year I've been getting more and more sad, I had a boyfriend for almost a year, but he recently broke up with me since neither of us were able to keep each other happy in the last couple weeks of our relationship: I was finding it harder to confide in him with my problems as they just seemed to annoy him, so I almost completely stopped telling him about them, he could still tell I was acting weird though, so he got annoyed at me for not trusting him and this really upset both of us. Shortly after he completely stopped talking to me and was ignoring everything I said, this went on for almost a whole month. Then one day he did reply saying he was fed up of everything and needed time, but I was really angry by then and wasn't thinking straight, so I tried to push him to explain, but he wouldn't, so in the end I just asked if he wanted to end it. Which he did.

Now I almost have like these extreme highs and lows. It's like if I don't have someone to talk to I just fall apart. Yesterday I sunk really low and my mum found me sat outside crying my eyes out, so I just decided to explain, that nothing seems to work, it feels like I'm always sad, except when I'm with someone. It makes me feel like a complete attention seeker.

My mum wants me to see a counsellor, so I have someone to talk to about it. But honestly I don't think I have a lot of time right now. I have two weeks left to complete 12 A3 drawings for art and a 4 minute speech for English, and I'm having a really hard time concentrating, I just end up stressed out and crying. I cant get to sleep, I'm having a hard time remembering things and have stopped eating as much as I used to. I'm really worried about myself and have been for about 3 months now. I've looked at the NHS website which has made me even more worried because I think I might have depression or bipolar.

I just hope that if I do, there's a way to make me feel better when I have a low, because it's becoming too much for me to take and I've started thinking about ways to end the pain and everything and me.

If anybody knows anything I can do to help with concentration, please share.

Lottiex

[Hidden]

Hi

Firstly, I'm very sorry to hear about your break up with your boyfriend.

It's hard, but if things weren't working out it's probably for the best. Now you can concentrate on you A levels and you're free if you find someone else who's better for you! Look on the bright side it maybe the best thing that's happened and Mr right maybe around the corner waiting for you.

If you think about it, life as a child is easy. Now your having to do things like A levels and think of your future, all of this is very confusing and very stressful! I know as I've 3 children and all of them have found these transitions very stressful too. It's hard trying to work out life and confusing and scary. You're bound to have all of these mixed up feeling goin roun and round. Give yourself time and don't be hard on yourself and expect too much. If you feel you can't cope please see a dr and ask to see a counsellor.

I would just err on the side of caution about antidepressants though, as they are not a wonder drug that fixes depression and problems, they can also have side effects, like weight gain, so please think very hard before you committee to starting them if they are offered. One of my daughters friend was put on them and has gained so much weight it has mad her very sad and she's come off the meds.

It is good that you've spoken to your mum and that you've shared with us. Each of these things will help you come to terms with what you're going through.

Remember that you are suffering, as most people would, from a sort of grief from the break up and it will take time to get over it. Give yourself time and be nice to yourself.

Good luck and best wishes.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you, I'm hopefully going to see a counsellor soon, but it may not be for a few weeks or so. And I wish I could just concentrate on myself, but it only works for a week and then I'm back to being all upset again.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Just take one day at a time, slowly, slowly catch the monkey,mas the saying goes. Anything doing is worth doing well, so keep on fighting!

Take care and good luck!

[Olderal]

Hello Lottie, although you'll find as you get older there are worse things than a relationship breaking up when young it can still cause a lot of pain. Its a risk one takes ;if one loves one risks the pain of losing but remember it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

You are very young and will love again, and will once again be risking pain if things break up. However thats the best way to live and its probable that those who get the most from love feel the most pain if it ends.

I would try and wait a bit for the pain to fade ,which it will, and for time to work its magic before you start worrying about your state of mind.

I'm old (ish) and I can't resist adding that one of the joys of being older is that one tends to get less of the pain of love, but its not that wonderful as one also gets a bit less of the joys of love.

Olderal

[Hidden in reply to Olderal]

Thank you, and I just hope I can get through the time it takes for the pain to go.

[Goldfish_]

Mindfullness is the thing to try to help with concentration (see youtube for examples), also distraction from thinking about your boyfriend and in that your school projects sound useful to be attending to.

It will all pass eventually if you just hang on in there. New relationships will come along and all changes. This is undoubtedly a temporary feeling and you just need to hang on in there and be patient

[Hidden in reply to Goldfish_]

Thank you, mindfulness sounds good, I'll try it ^.^

[Goldfish_ in reply to Hidden]

Yeh you can beat this easily