Hi this is my first post, I am not sure why I made it but I needed to tell someone. I am 17, but I am not coping my dad doesn’t care about me anymore and wouldn’t let me see my younger siblings. He finally let me see them and i got upset because I haven’t seen them in four months and got a little upset he then tells me off for crying and explain that this is my fault (he had to pay more money to CSA). I couldn’t cope with that and left, but my family are saying he didn’t do anything and I am getting worked up for nothing it’s like they can’t see what he is like as he has been so horrible to me. When all of this started three months ago after my dad first told me I couldn’t see my siblings they went out for a family meal with my grandma who told me she was on my side that night was the first night I self harmed. I told my self that when I see my siblings and make sure they are okay I don’t want live. They are okay without me. I am not writing this for sympathy I just wanted to finally let how I am feeling out as I can’t do this anymore, I am not afraid of death anymore.