Lonely

[Pandapop]

I'm not really sure why I feel like I do. I'm at rock bottom and when I look back I now realise I haven't been myself for quite some time. I feel like I have just opened my eyes but opened them to late. I have been with my boyfriend for a long time and the past 9 months havnt been great. I found out he had a gambling addiction and with that the lies came. I feel like I blame him for how I act (not trusting him, insecure, needy..) but I contradict myself because I can see how horrible it must have been for him. Being how I have been has pushed him away and things he has done I hate him for. But we are still together as we love one another .. Or at least I hope he does and he's not just with me because I am depressed. I feel rock bottom and I feel he abandons me as he gets annoyed with our time always being negative due to my depression but I just don't think he realises exactly how I feel. I feel alone, embarrassed ...and annoyed on top of that because of what I have put up with for him. I'm not happy with anything in my life right now but when he's not on my side I don't really see a life. Any one have any tips ? I'm ashamed to talk to my friends because they all think I'm so strong and I can't communicate with my boyfriend because it just pushes him further away. Help!

[Kainan]

Hi. How you act is completely independent from how your boyfriend acts. You may feel as if your life meshes in with his and at times it does, but it is important to understand that you are living your own life as is he is living his own. The two of you need to honestly talk things out and see things from the other's point of view. Blaming only intensifies any resentment that exists between you two. Its the result of if you feel entitled to something( in your case respect and attention from your boyfriend), and you didn't get it, then you'll feel angry and be prone to blame. But it doesn't serve you or him any good. Why do we want to feel that way? I hope you two can work things out.

[Hidden]

Sorry about how you feel.

I too am feeling very low and anxious. Don't know the answer to the questions. I suppose we just have to wait until we feel stronger mentally and try to sort ourselves out.

Good luck 😊