So I'm new and I don't know what happens next..

[myla]

hi,

I've been struggling with depression, anxiety and post traumatic stress disorder for the past four years. I've never really spoken about it, I always thought of it to be a weak subject and maybe if I just thought positively-then it would just go away.

I'm 19 and I live alone, no family and i've been homeless for a month now. My tenancy at my house ended and I simply have no money to attempt to get another place right now. I've been staying at multiple friends houses. I work almost 9 hours a week purely on commission. I've dropped out of school and three colleges due to my depression, I give up on everything easily. I've left four jobs because of no being able to cope with the early mornings, or my financial situation and personal issues clouding me at work.

I started my current job in March, I work in direct sales and marketing, it started off great, I was positive, I was making good money.. then my depression and anxiety started to control me. It's so hard trying to drag myself out of bed in the morning having no one to remind me to, the motivation to stay at this job because of the opportunities it will bring.. well they don't seem to excite me anymore. I cant even sell to people at the minute because my smile is so forced with everything that's affecting me in my personal life. When I come home it's the same shit, eat and weep about my issues all night by myself then face the world again the next day. The worst part is, I don't even feel like i can talk to any of my close friends about this. I'm driving myself crazy and they think it's all happy-days for me. I'm losing the will to live. I scream every night and there's no one around me to listen. I've lost interest in all the things I once cared about and I don't care about myself anymore. Sometimes I can't even bring myself to shower. The simplest things seem to be the hardest to accomplish at the minute - and that scares me.

At my job The commission is good here but it's not guaranteed if my attitude isn't there and right now,it isn't.. and I don't know when i'm going to get better. I cant afford to not work because i need money to eat, drink, live and survive.

I feel like my loneliness is becoming of me. I keep messing up everything I want to do in life. I fear I will end up on the streets if I carry on this way.

[Hidden]

It is important that you go see your GP to explain what is wrong.

Have you talked to the housing department and Social Services regard Sheltered Housing ???

BOB

[Hidden]

Hi Myla, This is pretty serious stuff, decisions made now will affect the rest of your life First of all you need to get well and seeing a Doctor is crucial. No one gets over depression on their own and you can't wish it away Housing seems like the next priority to me. I'm from the US and can't help with this. Can you share a flat or go to a shelter for a short term? Having a job, you've got to hang on while you do this other stuff. It's hard I know but it will get easier as you go on. You are a brave girl and we'll be here for you, Pam