How do I get out of this mess

Hi I Am writing this cause I don't no where to turn I am a mess I have asked for help and keep getting fobbed off my family want nothing to do with me as I took a over does 5 month ago I got nothing for Mother's Day and i am on the sick now don't have money so I am on the bottom I don't think I could get any lower my mum n dad r dead so I got no one I am now considering I be better off dead just like my daughter said I need help befor I really go and end it all


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12 Replies

  • Hi,

    Thanks for posting

    Im glad youve come here to talk before taking action. I have depression to and what we always must remember at times like this is that 'it will pass'. We have good days & bad days, today is a bad day. Tomorrow will be a better day...what goes up must come down, vice verser.

    Im sorry to hear your family isnt being very supportive, depression is very misunderstood. And its hard explaining that to people that dont understand..especially when your in a bad place.

    And your having difficulties with your daughter? is she with you? or staying with family? I promise you, your daughter really does not want you dead. Shes a child, and kids say things they dont mean, and they dont really think through the consequences of the hurtful things they say. She probably just needs a hug, just like you..Maybe if you two find it difficult to communicate your feelings you could write her a letter. Explain you love her, but the things she say are hurtful..and you want to work on your relationship. spend more time together etc.. you can fix things.

    Its hard to give you much advice as i don't know your situation. But im here, and will be online for the next hour or so if you want to message back and talk more.

    Your not alone, your not an awful person. Just in a bad place right now..things can get better! Im sure there have been plenty of times in your life you thought 'i cant do this', 'i cant get through this'. But you did! your still here, still fighting, dont give up now!


  • Thank u for replying I have wrote her a letter and all I have dun is cry today I need her I spoke to her tonight she told me to get lost

  • Sometimes these things take time. Maybe trying to work out a plan of action would help. You could write a list of areas of your life you would like to improve, then think of ways this could be dealt with, even if its just small steps, they lead to big changes. This will give you something to focus on and work towards and hopefully give you hope that things can get better. But dont overwhelmed yourself, take it slow..

    Im guessing your daughter is a teenager..they can be hard work. And i know it hurts alot, but youve got to stay strong. I was a right pain as a teenager, id get so angry..say awful things to my parents. But it was because i was suffering from depression..and i believed they didnt love me, i thought they didnt care. When they did..and being opened about their feelings could of changed things alot. Be honest with her, let your daughter know your depressed, let her know how her hurtful words are but dont be bullied. you dont have to pretend to be invincible..let her know you love her. And no matter what she says you two are going to work on things. Your the adult, your in charge. Your the boss. Im not sure if your daughter is trying to pull on your heart strings or if shes genuinely mad at you for whatever reason. Depending on which one it is, will depend on how you should deal with this problem.

    And theres nothing wrong with crying, sometimes a good cry helps. And being able to openly talk about your feelings hopefully will help ease your pain. Bottling things up lead to explosions of feelings, maybe your daughter is feeling a similar way but instead she lashes out with aggression because she doesn't know herself how to express her emotions. The whole letter thing is a good idea, it allows you to word things correctly, easier to express your emotions. & maybe your daughter would feel more comfortable talking about her feelings via a letter than in person.

    I hope things start to pick up for you soon, once again feel free to write back..and talk about whatever you here if you need to vent x

  • No my daughter is 27 she has hurt me to much now

  • Hi there and sorry your feeling so low and unloved, I think we all feel like this at times especially if we are in the midst of a Depression.

    Now forget about your daughter for the moment and concentrate on yourself and

    Your happiness. You say you keep getting fobbed off from getting help, can I ask

    Who or what is stopping you? You need to stand up for yourself and take charge and

    Go see your GP. I naturally dont know all your details so I wont say any more, but

    Please remember there is support here but you need to help yourself by getting



  • Well first, yes things could be lower, you could have succeeded, and I promise you that would be worse, for you and your family. At least now you have a chance to sort this out.

    About your daughters reaction. People can react in different ways to a family member attempting suicide. Some will become very concerned and attentive, thinking they should have known something was wrong (usually parents or siblings), but others may be angry at you for threatening to leave them. It does depend a lot on your previous relationship with them and their own insecurities. If it were me I think I would prefer my child to be upset at the thought of losing me than feeling guilty and afraid it was her fault. Perhaps she needs some help to deal with the situation too. There are organisations set up for family members of people who attempt suicide. You can google it.

    I hope you find the help you need too. Have you called the Samaritans?

  • Generally when someone tries to commit suicide friends, family members go through various feelings including anger, mistrust, and will not be understand why you did the thing in the first place. These feelings can also extend to various dynamics within the family circle. where family members can also feel you are doubly weak willed and there will be further feelings of being let down by the Depressive actions of the sufferer. It may be hard work to get back to that stable family before the suicidal event.

    Friends and employers can also have mixed feelings regarding your suicidal event.

    In my case my end of life attempt extended to more negativity from my family member and I was lucky I had like minded people with depression and we were able to give support and understand all who was suffering from mental health issues. A Mental Health Day Centre could also help you control your mental healt issues

    If you are having problems now with family members because of your actions all I can say is it will take time. In my case now I have alienated myself from my family members and sometimes that may be the only way that will give you some sort of peace from your there past actions.

    Why did you try and commit suicide, to understand the reasons is 50% nearer to accepting your past actions ?

    We are here if needed to give support


  • I split with my partner of 8 year he sold the house I have rented a little 2 bedroom flat and it came a big shock to me I could not cope he left me with nothing

  • Hi I can't add to the excellent advice you have been given so I will just say that once you are at rock bottom you cannot go down any more. The only way is up. Hold on to that.

    Just a thought - aren't you entitled to a share of the money from the sold house? Even if it was only in his name you should get something. He can't by law take everything away from you. x

  • I have been in touch with my slit or and he looking in to it but my kids seem to have took his side I am disgusted

  • Hi I am glad you have got your solicitor dealing with this. Your children don't know the full story so try not to be too upset by then taking your ex-partners side. When they get older they should understand a lot more.

    I agree with the others that often those closest to us often don't understand and get confused and angry at times. x

  • My kids r older my oldest one who is disgusting to me is 27

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