~clears throat~ OK, I haven't shared any poetry I've written since I was 13, and I'm 36 now, so... well, I wrote this in October, and since everyone here is so sympathetic I'm emboldened to post it, I hope you like it. If it strikes a chord or even makes you put on a coat and go for a walk, or just look out of the window, so much the better. Apologies for my writing, when I wrote it I didn't think anyone would ever read it!
The Blackbird
Pulling on an old coat
and sturdy boots,
I emerge into the mild Autumn air,
Breathe in, pause with the door at my back
and tilt my aching eyelids to the precious meagre yellow light.
I head at random out into the lanes, not caring where I go
So long as it leads away from curious eyes and my relentless crowding thoughts.
My booted tread sounds loud in the soft sudden realness of
Wet and tangled grass and apple smells.
Confusion trails behind me like a broken cobweb holding withered leaves
and dusty butterflies' wings, the memories of summers passed and gone,
Caught on the sticks of bare brown hedgerows, clinging strands unravelling as I
Stump along, hands in pockets.
What a sight, like an old country maid with gnarled hands
And shabby green coat stained with the smell of horses
And the hair of the dog, rheumy eyes, and cheeks and nose as rosy
As the Bramley windfalls rusting in the grass.
My cheeks aren't rosy now, I can recall
The ghost-white stranger who stared out at me from the mirror earlier,
Eyes full of age and questions - the tired reproachful spectre which made me flee the house
To grasp with both hands at real living earth and wood,
And warm myself in the comforting familiarity of a damp Autumnal day.
It doesn't matter what I look like, no-one's here to see,
No-one ever will be.
Except a blackbird, beautiful in orange and black,
Eyeing me suspiciously from his twig, then darting, scolding, to a farther tree.
I feel a tug of loss, and want to tell him
That I mean no harm, that he could be a kindred soul,
As small and vulnerable, trying to build his little life here on this same
October day.
Resignedly I walk on, aware of the squelch of mud and leaves beneath my feet,
The waft of woodsmoke and a distant engine's hum.
The detail of each leaf comes into focus now, the pink feathers of a robin's pincushion,
A rare and ragged time-key which transports me back
Before my world was broken, mended and broken again.
I gratefully bury my face in nature's apron, feel her pat my back
And I lean there until I've no more tears to cry.
And subtly, a change begins, slowly, like shoots below the ground.
What is real? Not the ghosts behind the glass,
Which hammer and rage, their voices muffled now, their weak forms faint
in the rich solidity of daylight.
Not the hopes and great loves which seem so all-encompassing, but pass
And fade away like showers and are gone, leaving only puddles which
reflect the changing sky. Too many years reaching for those skies, only to withdraw
With fingers bruised on nothing more then the cold grit of wet tarmac, all illusion gone.
What is real?
Only the wet and unkempt grass which has been there since I was a child,
The brambles which mark the seasons turning,
And the blackbird, who sings now from his tree, content to be
In the shaft of late golden sunlight which reaches in
On this unlooked-for fulcrum, this ordinary miracle of an Autumn day.
Written by
Aleisis
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50 Replies
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Thanks for posting. I like it. I can picture the blackbird moving to another perch and calling out it's warning as you walk closer.
This expresses my own thoughts about age as it creeps up on me. I find that watching and listening to garden birds lightens my mood and heart because of their beauty and innocence.
Aleisis, what a talent you have. An amazingly descriptive journey, tinged with sadness but ultimately uplifting. Nature is a powerful healer . I felt like I walked with you.
Aleisis! I agree with angelite, and I also felt like I walked with you, almost able to breathe in the Autumn air with you and smell the wood smoke and feel the squelching mud...I loved the way you wove in some of your life experiences in a 'stream of consciousness' way, which can often happen when a person communes with Mother Nature and reflects on the path of their life.
The phrases are beautifully evocative and I personally felt the poem as a strong motivating positive force - Live Well and Prosper 8 )
What a lovely poem! Thank you! I absolutely love Blackbirds, my garden has a family of them and I fill the lawn with food for them.
Great. Now write another about Robins. My other favourite bird!!!
Thank you! Me too, I only have a tiny corner of gravel with shrubs around, but I put out bread and fat-balls, and there's a lovely blackbird who visits every day, he's quite tame, doesn't seem at all fussed if he sees me watching him!
A robin poem - I will! That can be a little assignment for this week, thanks for the inspiration! xxx
Ah thank you I will look forward to it. You have a wonderful talent for words, so use it!! I have a family of cheeky robins in my garden and when I'm out there they come up quite close and nosey at what I am doing. Adorable! The Robin is the UK's favourite bird!
Check out that Snowy owl on Yahoo. I saw a barn owl last year. It landed on a telephone pole just at the side of my house. It was truly amazing. Xx
Hehe, they are cheeky - pugnacious little devils, but so cocky and endearing that you forgive them! There were a family of them in my old garden, the male used to come every day with the chick, who was bigger than him and very demanding, and between them they would see everybody else off the bird table! We also had a lame wood pigeon (known as Hopalong Pidge), who was a bit too big for the robins to scare away. You'd see them eyeballing him from 2 feet away, but not quite daring to do anything about him!
I'll have a look - I love owls! There are a couple of bird of prey centres near me, and a year ago I went and arranged for my boyfriend to get to hold a barn owl - she was beautiful! I think they have the same fascination for me as cats - that contrast of softness and needle-sharp predator, but so graceful as a whole.
Hannah, did you see that amazing footage of a snowy owl caught on camera on a highway somewhere in Canada? It's on Yahoo news now - amazing!!! I love owls.
I'm not far from Wilmslow Hannah - about 20 mins. I live near Lyme Park where I walk my dog most days. It's lovely. Yes, we are friendly up here but we found Dublin to be very warm and friendly. Both my Grandparents were Irish! Xx
Wow Darkshadow, that's wonderful! You've got an incredible turn of phrase - very inspirational, thank you for your kind words, and thank you for sharing this! x
Thank you Dave, that's such a touching reply, it actually brought a tear to my eye! (hug) xx
Sorry if I being unnecessary jerk, what do you mean with "The detail of each leaf comes into focus now, the pink feathers of a robin's pincushion"?I don't see exactly what leading to this and after that. is it what happen in your past memory?because you refer to nature rather differently after this.
I just read it, and I just feel so much better, I don't know if it is really caused of this or not.
I used to write 5-10 short poem every day when I was 10, and bicycling around the country side and draw any animal that I could see, somehow I didn't continuing it because the neighbourhood changes, school etc.
Reading this it kinda bring me back. I hope I can write something like this again.
Not jerky at all! It's what happens as you walk and your mind begins to clear - when you set out your head is in a swirl of thoughts and you don't really notice your surroundings. Gradually, you start to take in the details, as though a fog is clearing, or your focus is drawing back from whatever dark plain it had been on, and fixing on the present moment. On this particular walk, the blackbird distracted me enough to break the cycle of negative thoughts, so I was just carrying on with a blank mind, starting to look properly at the hedgerow beside me and the texture of the leaves and wood, and a robin's pincushion in the hedge caught my attention. They're so beautiful and I hadn't seen one for years, it took me right back to walking with my mum when I was a little girl, and her teaching me about the things we saw by the wayside. She found a robin's pincushion and I was entranced because they look so bright and feathery. It reminded me that I'm the same person, despite all that's gone between, but was also poignant because of how hopeful and innocent I was back then. Then, if I'd been sad I'd have gone to my mum for comfort, but on this day, nature itself was where I turned, and it eased my mind.
I hope that explains what you wanted to know!
I'm so glad you felt better, that's the highest praise! Do take it up again, it's a wonderful thing to do, it does you more good than anything the doctor can give you. It's sad when someone has a gift and something they love, and they let it slide as they get older, just because other stuff gets in the way - it's still a part of you inside, always, even if it's shut away for a time. x
Ok I understand now, but I rarely have a break of mind's flow because something outside happen, it usually happen for no reason.
And that is exactly my case, it's a very good thing you remember what happen in your childhood with your mother, what you had loved and cherised it now.
Mine is rather very vague, I almost don't remember anything in the past, maybe because I always preoccupied with kind of major depression since childhood, my dad can tell what is going through his childhood very clearly and it make me very envious.
please make another this kind of romantic poem (if you could take a request, a dominantly childish excitement or a thrilling one :D).
You have my sympathy - depression can have a huge effect on your memory - in my case it's mostly my short term memory, though a lot of the past is vague, I think I must have shut a lot out when I was younger. Sometimes though, little things can trigger it to come back (like the robin's pincushion) - a conversation with someone you knew back then, a piece of music, a book, even a smell. Maybe starting writing again will help you to unlock some of your past.
Thank you, I hope besides your well being, I hope you can show and teach your children (you are 36 I assume you have a children) wide ranging emotions with these kind of outlet (literature, art, humor).
science and logic is important but I think if they don't have any independence to channel their creativity and respect it will have a detrimental effect. and mother has been proven to have the most decisive factor in nurturing.
Thank you karipapaya, that's very sweet of you - I don't have children, I never felt ready to have them and didn't want any, although I must admit your saying that makes me feel a little wistful! I'll have to make do with being an aunty!
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xx
Almost opened the flood gates...
Getting sicker and sicker everyday 
Feeling very lost
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