Just a follow up

Not too long ago i told my sister and her friend she is like my sister and easy to talk to so i just sent them my info for this site because being physically unable to talk about my feelings out loud i had no other choice. I felt happier like im not just holding everything in anymore but that didnt last i feel back how i used to and very accepting of death i couldn't actually kill myself but its a thought i have more frequent different ways i could do it stuff like that.

i feel like im putting on weight :/ i dont even realize im skipping meals now i dont know what i used to do as its been so long in the morning i have pains in my belly and i dont know if its because im skipping breakfast anymore because i feel physically sick when i eat something for breakfast ive never made myself sick though ive taken it into account that i wouldn't be putting weight on if i did.

in class i was sat there and i undid the buttons on my blazer and noticed someone was looking in my direction so i did them back up through my shirt i felt my ribs but i couldn't take into account how im so fat but can feel my ribs without even pushing down my arms are getting fatter even though their skinny compared to other peoples i still feel the fat on them i can touch my fingers around making a ring with all 4 and my thumb but its getting harder to do it so i know my arms are getting fatter im still not eating properly but now i dont even know whats normal anymore ive been doing it for so long i cant tell my mum for those of you saying to tell her because she has her own problems and i cant add mine on top but as i said my sister knows and i felt relief for a short period of time but apart from that everything is the same


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2 Replies

  • Hi Leo it sounds like you have an eating disorder. You must seek help either from your school or a doctor. As you are 16 it is confidential and your parents don't have to know. If you are too thin but think you are fat it can be very dangerous as you can harm your health permanently or even die. Get help please. x

  • Hi Leo, well I'm ever so slightly... the other way at the moment. I know I'm eating too much. I know how to eat healthy and balanced but I'm eating more for comfort and because I bloody well deserve that treat!

    It's alright for others to say what you should or shouldn't be doing about your eating habits, I hear you say. I say the same. But people; your friends and family... and even us on here say what we say because we care. We want you to be happy and to be healthy and to look after yourself.

    coughalot2 mentioned harming yourself long term, well it's true. I have these set ideas in my mind about how the body works, they may not be (as yet) scientifically proven :) but nevertheless true! I see the body as a series of tanks, various sizes, some almost invisible to the eye. You eat you breathe and you drink. Each of which contain elements your body needs to exist and maintain. Not eating a mixed a variety of foods means some of your tanks are on empty.

    Everyone is different. Like fingerprints, we all store our tanks in different places. Fat for instance... when you eat it's natural for your body to store some, look at any form of life and you'll see fat as energy stored in some way shape or fashion. You can be yhe skinyist frame but have a double chin. That's because the fat (lifes energy reserve) storage tank is there, in the chin.

    You can't exercise a reserve tank away. It's there through evolution! The genetics of your being.

    The trouble is we are all so self conscious about our appearance and it's silly because people like and love you... the entire person, including the storage tanks.

    When you are young your body is developing continually and it can cope with various tanks running on near empty but the elements of your body which depend upon those tanks being rich in substance are suffering. You won't feel it now but those elements are now under developing. Which means as you grow older the elements which depend upon those under developed elements are now suffering and unable to cope as well as they might have.

    Do you see where I'm going?

    To put it another way, break a leg now, you are young, you heal and all is well in 8 weeks. When you are older the leg isn't as it would have been unbroken, it'll not give you the support it should.

    So stop thinking you are fat because YOU are not... YOU are YOU and your friends and family all love YOU!