I just want a break..

[misunderstood46]

Im 25 years of age, one would think that I am this extremely funny guy. Whose full of life laughter, and can with stand anything that is thrown at him. I for the younger part of my years managed too make 300+ lbs seem as if it wasnt even there... I had the prettiest of girls back in middle school, but after middle school I went from always having my way with the ladies .. to that fat guy thats just her friend whos like her brother.... I havent felt what love is in 11 years ... I was 14, the last time i said i love you and it was said and felt mutually between myself and who at the time was the prettiest school. High School presented so many issues .. I was a victim of my own popularity, it wasnt fun everyone already knowing you because in my part of the world I was a well known dancer who danced on a local television show. I felt as if no one really knew me or got to know who i really was. They only knew the dancer they seen on friday nights... Back to my weight i managed from a child till about 16 to never see my weight as a defect. Until the very girl I loved with all my heart had sex with a friend of mine before myself and .. never did he ever show her the things i did or treat her as i did. Most would say I was too young and id turn and say to them .. whats the age limit on love in your state because the last time i checked ... theres none where im from .. you cant control when love grabs a hold of a heart .. after all a son loves his mother before he has even felt her actual warmth.... thats when I saw that I wasnt who i appeared to be .. that although im funny and charming and can dance and have an attractive face (cause ive been told ) none of that over rides that fact that im fat

Now could you imagine waking up everyday fighting with what you see in the mirror .. saying to yourself nah im not just fat .. and im gonna prove i can do anything a skinny guy could sports fashion women ... but time and time again i get beat at a basket ball game just because my opponents faster NOT BETTER .. i come out of my house fresh to death dressed from head to toe .. only to see someone wearing a shirt i really want but i dont have it cause an XL probably fits only around my arm.. how about countless I mean countless women who have friend zoned me gone for the other guy who is always a LAME or just a corn ball... treats them like s*** then Im turned to .. to mend all pain.. so they can go mess the next dude. Imagine your friends moving in on girls you want and you bought around .. and the girls just go along with it ... all ive ever wanted was to be in love with whoever i want or desire... ive hooked up my best friends with almost all of there girlfriends now .. but yet i have no one to love.

ready for this to take another turn ... I have a very ill mother whos hanging on to life by her last wits ... shes been sick all my life and all i ever do is picture my mother in a casket. Yes i enjoy and make memories as much as i could with my mother .. but my mom has sickle cell and theres no cure for it along with various other health defects. Could you imagine my childhood no dad around .. my mom is always in the hospital so im raised by my then alcoholic grandfather ( who never abused me actually loved me greatly and provided) and my hard working grand mom who grinded 27 + years in a factory who at one time was fighting breast cancer? ... My grandfather recently gave me a scare with an abscess on his prostate which thankfully was handled quickly and greatly.

I leave the house with my own family struggles to then deal with my social issues ... to at last deal with the fact that i have no education and no job ... and im getting fustrated and angry .... i cry here and there . but what does that solve i feel employers dont hire me cause im fat ... i feel girls dont like me in the way i like them cause im fat ....and my family issues are inevitable ..

weight loss i always try but as you can see .. im a bit overwhelmed ... help

[Edited 22/05/2014 a couple of swear words]

[Hidden]

Hi misunderstood not having a go but swear words are not allowed on the site so you might want to amend your post please.

You sound like you are going through a lot at the moment, do you think you are suffering from depression? Have you been to the doctors for advice? Only you can lose the weight but I understand how hard it is. Your dr can help with that too. You say you only go with the prettiest girls but they have their pick of men why don't you try going for personality instead? That's more important at the end of the day. I had severe acne when young so even though I had a good fun personality my appearance seemed to override that fact and I always got the good looking guys friend and not him. Going just on looks is very superficial! Try looking beyond that and you might find love and happiness.

[Photogeek]

Exactly cough, he should go for personality and a good heart x

[vickyrubbish]

Hi misunderstood

there is a lot in your post, but you seem to have lots of positives in your life, good friends & family.

Loosing weight is tough and takes time but IS achievable. But try and look at it as getting healthy rather than thin .....Go to the doctors and see if you can get a 'gym prescription' they will be able to put together program which can work along side a healthy eating plan, so you will meet people who are going through same thing and can give you some moral support and you can get fitter as well as a bit trimmer.

So to start the ball rolling, use smaller plates to eat from (optical illusion ...... and dont do seconds!) and go out for a walk twice a day, just 10 - 15 minutes each time to start with, after a week or so you will find you can walk further in the same time. Then increase the time to 20 mins and so on - so it does not have to cost a fortune.

The other thing that has helped a couple of my friends who struggle with their weight is the 5/2 plan, you eat normally for 5 days and then have 2 fast days (for men I think for those days its about 800cal intake) with lots of fluid intake it gives your system a rest and a seems to work really well.

Good luck and take it one step at a time, it will take a while to get a fab bod to go with your fab personality ( and by fab i mean normal ..... not mag/film image of fab thats not real)

Keep me posted on how your doing

xxx

[Young_mom_of2]

Hi,

I am very sorry to hear that you've felt like that most of your life. I am sorry to hear of all of the troubles in your family. And all of the pain that you've felt. I can empathize because I have felt a lot of pain in my life. And seen the pain of others also. Pain and trial are inevitable, I know that now. I've suffered from depression most of my life and felt like a victim to the outside circumstances. Not feeling in control to be who I was meant to be. Feeling powerless to be truly happy. I am now 25 years old, 2 beautiful children and a great husband. I am only now realizing that I am the only one that can make me happy. I am the only one who can make my life what I want it to be. But the hard part is taking full responsibility for my own happiness in life. I was unhappy being tired, depressed, and overweight after having 2 kids. And my depression made it so hard to take control of my health. But I am doing it now. Every day is a choice to be responsible for ME and to break unhealthy habits and unhealthy

patterns of thinking. 9 months ago I started a workout class that has helped transform me. I have lost weight, toned up, gained

strength i never knew I had, gained self respect and confidence. And I also learned exercise helps regulate my depression. My new found power and happiness has been helped significantly through fitness, but that alone is not the cause. It's because I am learning to take responsibility for myself and my happiness. To refuse to be a victim of circumstance or past hurts.

I'm sharing in hopes that you can find YOUR inner power. The power you have to take charge of your own happiness. Do not lose hope. There is always hope. You have a family you love, and in that alone is hope for a better life. Do not despair. You are powerful, strong, intelligent. You just need to take charge of your life and refuse to let outside circumstances dictate your happiness. I know this is very hard to do. It took me most of my life to learn this. But I hope I have said something helpful. I wish the very best for you. And I sincerely care. I posted this link below to help you get started. My suggestion is to pick one thing at a time, that you don't like about yourself or your life, and focus on changing it. It sounds like your weight is a major cause of unhappiness. So I would suggest starting there. Put all of your focus into how you can help yourself lose weight and gain confidence. You sound like a great guy who has a lot to offer. You show the world what you are. best wishes,

Mary

tinybuddha.com/blog/how-to-...

[Gambit62]

I'm afraid I've only managed to skim your post.

Recent research shows that for some people weight gain is a genetic problem rather than a question of will-power - might be worth trying to see if you can find some material and talk to your doctor about whether that might be a factor for you.

As I think others have said, not being happy with your weight and having lost self-confidence as a result is a bit of a Catch 22 situation. People can usually sense when someone doesn't like themselves and that can be very unattractive. When you were younger people liked you because of your personality and you did seem to have confidence if I have read things correctly - but the incident when you were 14 seems to have turned that on its head and left you so conscious about your weight that there is no longer the space for the real you to shine through.

There are various sights and on-line stuff that you can do in relation to low self-esteem.

There are several anxiety fora on Health unlocked - you might find joining one or two of those useful as well.