Sorry I haven't posted in a while.
I just feel under so much pressure for every angle of my life. I am currently undertaking my a levels and the only constant factor in my life is this thought of self harming. I know how it can affect people and just can't help but wonder whether it will be any help as a relief from the stress of school, friends and the constant expectation to be someone who I'm not. No one will understand if I did self harm as even though I have contemplated it before I never went through with it. My family would be so ashamed. I just need a release somehow but everyone would be so disappointed in me but what else is there? Just don't know here to turn.
Every night I listen to music as it I the only way to help me go to sleep and find some sort of escapism from the inner turmoil and it may sound pathetic and no matter how many times I talk to my friends and they claim to feel the same I just don't they truly do realise the depth as to what I mean why I say that I am truly struggling, contemplating numerous different scenarios as to how I can hurt myself.