I have been trying to fight this for almost 4 years now, starting new life in new country was not even my choice but i had to. 4 years with no friends. trying to isolate myself more and more, not keeping in touch with family for no reason...(sometimes i can not understand myself).
I feel lonely most of times i tend to hurt myself as I enjoy the pain, I drink loads of alcohol.
Did not even register with GP and feel so scared to do so and to be honest i do not care anymore.
I have no interest in almost anything in life and nothing can make me happy.
Not sure why I am sharing this here but was not able to do that before and i just want to let it out.
Written by
was85
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5 Replies
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Hi was 85 Every life in this world has worth .so many kind carrying people on this forum are only to happy to help and advice you .all of us on this site have had or still have issues but knowing like minded others out there are also suffering helps to deal with ones own issues.
Okay can we agree alcohol alters your state, I mean it alters anyones state thats why people drink. If you are drinking alot you are going to be on an endless roller coaster of highs and lows, so that's like being on a merry go round wondering why you keep going round. So if you think the drinking is out of hand talk to someone, your using it to cope but its stopping you from thinking clearly.
You self harm I believe because you believe its the one thing you can control in your life, it isnt, you just cant see the wood for the trees. I would take a bet no one will help you until you ask for help and you need help. There is no shame in asking for help, we all need it in our lives, we are better together.
Being in pain, feeling worthless is a killer, but think if you saw a girl ready to jump from a bridge you would stop her. Why because you know her life is valuable even if you dont know how. If you saw a fox with its leg caught in a trap you would do what you could to free it, why because you see value in its life, you dont know how or why but you know it is o value.
Cant you apply that to you, does there really have to be a clear reason for you to be here, do you really have to know, cant you trust there is a bigger picture and you are part of it. You might save a fox one day, you might save a girls life, you need to help yourself, its really important you are here on this earth, being you, not anyone else. Get your head around that and the interest in life will return. But baby steps ... move slowly, slow everything right down, dont achieve anything, just be, pick flowers, listen to beautiful music, eat ice cream, bet a cat, talk to birds....slowly get something out of each day and please for me, ask for some help. You are so valuable to everyone on this planet we cannot afford to lose you, even if I cant tell exactly how you have to trust me this worl would be a much darker place without you.
Do it, get better for yourself and so when someone comes to you and says I self harm and I dont know what to do you can say , I have this, I know how to concour this, be well enough to help the fox, the girl on the bridge and yourself. And dont listen to those STUPID STUPID people who want you to think less of yourself because of their own stupid insecurities...Stuff them. This is your life for you, you earnt it , you deserve it and can make this work. With baby steps.
Big Hug and a Kiss XXX
NEVER EEEEVER GIVE UP NOT FOR ANYONE...EVER. Push a head and be determined to say STUFF you if people get in your way.... you can do this I have complete faith in you XX
Thank you for your lovely PM so very kind. Hope today is a little easier for you, if not dust yourself off there is always tomorrow and the next day, you have plenty of time. Go easy and I want to send you a BIG HUG in the post Good Luck my friend xx
Hi I am good just started my day, did not really want to go to work but here we go i am there I can not do anything about it, Actually I am trying to take it easy and do not stress myself. I am also determined not to buy any drinks today.
Only one thing i did not like about my day so far, one of my friends at work gave me a big hug even though he ignored my messages yesterday also when i asked for his help before he asked me to help myself out as noone can do..... i just do not understand people sometimes, to be honest his hug made me feel bad for some reason.
Thanks for your support hope you have a good day xx
Oh stuff him...lol People mostly dont know what they are about and he's probably got his own issues. Okay so good your going to be kind to yourself, be easy on yourself...soooo can we say you have a little time on your hands. Okay so now look for the fun stuff, do your work okay but once its done or in quiet patches look for the fun stuff, things that make you laugh in the news there's always one story, something in the office you find funny. When you walk home or in the park at lunch look on the ground and see if you can find anything interesting, or odd, look about you, see the birds, if you see any animals stop for a moment an just enjoy watching them. take yourself out of your day, out of the usual, try and get a smile out of someone for no reason. I et told off for laughing at my own jokes but they ARE FUNNY.
So let me start you.... I really want you to smile and this is a cute joke...may not be your style but I hope you like it. Maybe you could tell it to the hug man
THE JOKE....
Okay so a Duck goes into a bar and asks for a pint.
The barman is taken aback ...a talking duck!
He asks the duck what he does?
The duck says I work on the building site across the road.
Do you like it asks the Landlord.
Ooooh I love it says the duck and I get good pay , its hands on work.
All that week the duck comes in for his lunch and a pint.
On the following Monday the circus comes into town, the Ring Master goes to the pub.
The Landlord says here aren't you from the circus
Yes he replies
Well he says I think I have something for you...a talking duck! Comes in everyday for a pint and his lunch.
The Ringmaster says I am interested...here's my phone number get him to give me a call.
Later that day the duck comes in. The Landlord explains the Ring Master has been in and is interested in him.
The duck looks puzzled, he asks you mean a Ring Master from a circus.
Yes says the Landlord
A Circus with a big green tent?
Yes says the Landlord
A big green tent with a hole in it? asks the duck
Yes
The duck scratches his head and says...
What do they want a plasterer for?
LOL
LOVE ITTTTT LOVE THAT JOKE.... I am Now laughing and i have been telling that joke for yeaaaars!!!
Excuse the lack of speach marks but it takes toooo bloooming long.
I hope I gave you your first smile today at least.
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Good Luck my friend xx
Have no one to talk too 
Feeling lonely and have lost interest in everything
DEPRESION NO ANSWER
Isolation, lack of interest, suicidal thoughts
Lost
