Don't leave the forum

[bigeon56]

Isn't this forum all about supporting each other through good time and bad?

If this is correct then there is no need for you to leave the the forum STAY

and I hope all is well again xx

[Suzie40]

I agree with you x

[MarkQ]

Hi Bigeon56.

You are not wrong (!) the forum is about supporting each other (as a community) helping rejoice in the good times, providing support and encouragement in the bad and at all other times just being there (here), treating and being treated with respect and understanding.

Although I do not disagree with the sentiment and conclusion the post, there are a couple of points worth bearing in mind.

1. On the occasions I respond to a post I am always have concerns.

Did I understand the intent behind the original post?

Was my response supportive?

Was my reply appropriate?

What if I offend?

What is I say something that is wrong ?

What if they think I am an idiot (actually there's a club with badges and t-shirts) ?

Having read another post, I know such concerns are shared by others and if nothing else that should reflect that people here don't contribute lightly or an a whim, or because waiting in line at Tesco*. People are here for support, people here provide support and the intent the desire is genuine.

What's my point... we worry...

for me, that people have concerns reflects an intent/desire to help.

*other supermarket brands are available

2. Not always as simple as 'right' or 'wrong'....SORRY.

Sometimes no matter what you say or do, someone will be offended and although you may offer a heartfelt apology, fact is, we need to remember the intent and know any offense was the last thing anyone wanted.

Also, worth remembering, there might be a tenancy (from time to time) to think, re-think and re-re-think.

Example:

Imagine you walking down a street an there is an elderly person who seems to be struggling, maybe looking to cross the road (didn't say it was new story)...

with the best of intent you have two thoughts:

... 1. Do I go ask if they want support?

... 2. Do I assume they OK and if needed support they may ask?

Depending on the person, the time and circumstance both could be received/interpreted well, at other times quite the opposite...

You offer support

.... the person accepts you offer and thanks you (great)

.... the person looks at you and tells you they are perfectly capable and you should mind your own business

You don't offer support

... the person believes they are demonstrating their independence and this is being respected

.... the person things, 'how rude', could even offer to help, 'people today, no respect'

That we sometime question and our interactions, wish not to upset someone and if ever we do, we think 'should I leave' is entirely understandable.

Though as I said when I started writing this (some time last week!)...Bigeon56 is not wrong.. people should stay. A community is greater that the value of its members and the loss of any one is greater than the (considerable) worth of that person.

I do however know it is difficult. I am aware in responding I have caused worry / concern / upset (not intended and something I regret). I have (still do) consider if leaving makes it better for others. Staying isn't easy.. but I wouldn't hesitate from encouraging anyone with similar experiences / concerns to stay.

Stronger together.

We all face some very real and challenging battles in our lives, with our illness.

There is a big wide world that often doesn't understand or know how to respond, what do do.

All this can change

...all this MUST change

...all this WILL change

and that change will be better/quicker and more sustained if as a community we remain as one.

I hope everyone stays, that more continue to join, everyone has something to contribute and everyone can make a positive difference for themselves and others.

The strength of the community is in its member..

Warmest regards to all

Mark

[Michelle1974 in reply to MarkQ]

Hi mark

I totally respect your post and I am going to stay due to there is much mis understanding and mis reading of replies at times.its people like yourself that make me I want to continue being part of this forum as there are so many nice people on here which I am yet to meet.

Anyway Mark I am Michelle it's nice to meet you as I have not as yet

Kind regards

Michelle x

[Hidden]

I agree completely so Michelle if you are reading this get your a.. back on here.! Bev xx

[jue1 in reply to Hidden]

Enjoyed reading your post jul1x

[Michelle1974 in reply to jue1]

Hi Jue1,

It's nice to get the opportunity to say personally that I never meant anything other than just light hearted chat.

I respect your views and would like to take this chance to say hi, I am really poorly apart from being depressed also and life is too short and precious for any hard feelings,feel free to read my profile unless you already have done,I do try and be a nice person and I genuinely like people.

Hope that says enough to put it all to bed ,where I spend most of the time,no excuse but I think I have become a little detached from the world out there.

Hope you do get a surprise for Valentines,I asked my Husband to cook us two a nice meal when the children have gone to their own rooms and he replied " is it really worth the time and money it all costs,as we had our delivery of eggs yesterday why don't we have an egg sandwich for a change" I kid you not and I 100% know the only valentines cards and chocolates I will get will be from my sons but I think that's just as sweet.

Thank you for reading this reply.

Michelle

X

[Photogeek in reply to Michelle1974]

Hi Michelle.

Enjoy the 14th in friendship. Talk soon and

Take real good care of yourself.

Warm hugs.

Hannah xx

[jue1 in reply to Michelle1974]

hI - NOT TO WORRY ITS ALL PUT TO BED NOW, NICE POST HAVE A NICE EVENING SATURDAY

[Michelle1974]

Thank you so much and I will be staying around thanks to kind people like yourself.

Michelle x