fed-up

[Sally_12]

Am tired of everything right now... my husband doesn't love me anymore... he shows no affection... my family ask me for money all the time... I have bills up to my neck... and I am just so tired from work pressure... am just tired of people asking me for money... I just got on my feet & now I have to put up with everything coming at me all at once...

I am so fed-up... I just had a argument with my husband about my car being damage by some lady who hit into me... I told him as I got home tonight that I don't want to talk about it but he wanted to tell me what to do... he always yells at me... so he called me stupid tonight... he always says hurtful things... sometimes I run with it but this time... I can't do it no more... I have had it... am totally fed-up with everybody & everything...I have literally have nobody to talk to because nobody understands me or they will always judged me... am tired of this abuse...

[Hidden]

Hi Sally

Sorry to hear you're having problems. Can you say no to the people asking for money? Off course you need to pay your bills first & then if you can help others then that's great. But on the other hand if it's the same people that are always asking then bailing them out isn't actually helping in the long run.

With regards your marriage it sounds like neither of you are very happy at the moment. The pressures of life can really have a strain on relationships. I'm not sure what to suggest right now other than have you ever thought about Relate? It's a counselling service that can help people an a single person basis or couples basis.

James

[WantToChange]

I know how you feel about your husband pulling away. It's just sometimes what happens I'm afraid. Women need to be shown more affection than men do and that's usually the case in every relationship. Sometimes men forget this or simply can't be bothered. And most couples do fall out of love. It's tragic, it really is but to me it always seems inevitable. I think a question to ask here is, do you still love him? How do YOU feel about him?

In terms of people asking you for money. Just say no. If it's the same people, they should be sorting out their own damn finances instead of bleeding you dry! So maybe you could practice saying no? It's nice you want to help people, but you shouldn't do this at your expense. I'm sure if you explain that you can't afford to help they will be understanding. The last think you want is for them to get used to coming to yu when they need money because that's when you get taken for granted...

Regarding your husband saying hurtful things, he really shouldn't do this. Everyone snaps at times but being mean isn't acceptable. Maybe you could talk to him about how you feel?

[Hidden]

Hello Sally

At least I do know not to ask for a loan,

i do not know how old you are and how long you have been married, is it your family who keep putting out the begging bowl. Does your husband not try and help with bills??

People on this site are great helpers who come from a variety of places or family backgrounds. Sad to say sorting peoples problems out is more difficult to accomplish although we can give you support and a listening ear as many have gone through many of the problems you find yourself in now. So I welcome you to our site and we hope that you become a regular on this site.

Personally I feel that if not already to visit your GP and explain you are heading for a crisis and need the help that a possible CPN can offer, they will try and act as a sounding board for your worries and stresses. and this will give you confidence to look upon the problems associated with your life. They also explain coping skills so that you can approach your problems in a way that will give you strength and encouragement.

Your husband seems to have some issues of His own so it may be an idea for you to visit Relate or the Catholic Church has there own organisation who helps when partnerships become problematic. Your Priest can arrange appointments regarding this type of problem

So Sally how can we help you today ?, This time of the year in my view is the least Christian Period of the year and families go through hell to placate their family members needs and requirements.

Sad to say we all eat to much and Christmas becomes an anticlimax especially when family members are sat in a room with all generations and friction rears its head. All I can say to you at the moment Even our dog Pax disappears at this time of the year and He will sit and watch the turkey for hours. So even He has His Christmas needs

BOB

[Photogeek]

Hi Sally welcome to the Forum, you seem browned off with everything.

Your husband, and people asking you for money. I can relate to the latter as

I have people ( a couple and their two children) who I know for years, and. They

Too are often asking me for money. You will just have to learn to say No ( 1) , don't

Explain why, or go into the reasons. Just say No. This seems to work for me.

How long are you married, someone else said that all marriages get like this, I

Don't agree, You will have to sit down and tell your husband that you don't

Want to be called anything , especially stupid. That is downright disrespect ful,

Pick a time when your both relaxes and tell him your needs, for more affection ,

If you say nothing he will think he is doing fine. Some men feel their partners

Don't show them affection either so it's nothing to do with Male, Female.

Expect to be treated well and you will be.

Hannah

[Hidden]

Hello

It is a sad fact to ask for money from a friend, they say that it is the quickest way to loose that relationship.

Because of my medical problems I now do not carry money as I can prove to be compulsive so Hazel keeps hold of the purse strings. So it is a strange fact I have not seen our currency now for about twenty years, barring the stuff I find on footpaths etc

BOB