Appt for bereavement counselling is through. Scared!! :(

[les82]

I bit the bullet and contacted Cruse bereavement counselling a few months ago and thats my appt through. I hope they help me deal with the guilt i have and help me remember the good times. I'm terrified x

[Photogeek]

Hi Les

I'm sure it will help you to deal with the pain of losing your Mother, I'm not sure did

She die quite young? My own Mother died 9 years ago at 87. This was a very long life and

Even though I miss her still, I don't have any issues over her dying.

Dying is inevitable but maybe your Mum died early? I'm sure Counselling

Will give you chance to talk things over with someone who is qualified.

Hannah

[Hidden]

Cruse is a very good start to bring out regrets that a family death can bring out into the open.

One problem I have noticed that there is a family truce until after the Wake and then relief in some ways comes to the service followed by anger and sadness.

If we feel we have not treated the person well in life this can become a large part of the grieving process and that needs to be exercised and talked out. All this is part of a grieving process that this society understands and will help you come to terms with.

Be kind with yourself and give yourself a break from any feelings of guilt, all just takes time and sadly most of us feels anger, guilt and sadness. What if is something else that come to the fore.

BOB

[les82 in reply to Hidden]

My mum died 2 yrs ago age 52. She was an alcoholic and drank for as long as i can remember. She was in hosp about 10 yrs ago and almost died. She was forever in and out of the hosp. Leading up to her death she went on a binge. My mum and dad split up 20 years ago but he still cared for her and looked after her finances. She asked for all her money and cards back and went on the binge. My brother was in spain and phoned to ask me to check on my mum as his friend had phoned him saying that my mums blinds hadnt been open for a few days. I was out for the day with my partner and as we were having a few drinks we couldnt get along to check on her. In all honesty i didnt want to as in my head i knew i'd just find her in a drunken mess. Anyway the following day me and my dad got my brothers key for the house. My dad ran upstairs to her room and i checked the living room and there she was on the floor barely breathing. I called an ambulance and my mum was taken to hospital, me with her. For a month my mum was in a coma and specialists told us that she had extensive brain damage and that they were taking the decision out of our hands and withdrawing her treatment. She died 6 days later. My guilt is that i didnt check on her that day. Could i have saved her? The docs said no as the brain damage can start from two minutes on the ground. I was so good to my mum, tried everything to get her to stop drinking but her kids and grandkids were less powerful than the disease. I need help with this guilt and coming to terms with the fact i'll never speak to her again. X

[Hidden]

Hi Les

Well done on taking this step, and I hope it goes as well as possible

Amanda

[les82]

Thank you Amanda. I've blocked a lot of stuff out over the years so it'll be hard talking about it but i have to do it x

[Hidden]

I hope the appointment goes well for you - it takes courage to make the first steps, but hopefully counselling will begin to help you to come to terms with your Mum's death and to realise you were not to blame for her dying. x

[les82]

I hope so x