Scared - what is happening?


I'm in my early twenties and I live in London - alone.

I've been unstable for a long long time, but I have become far worse in the last 3 months. It's impossible to simplify, but I quite literally do not know what is going on with me.

I do have a lot on at the moment. I started a new job before Christmas and I've been working on a personal project in my spare time at weekends and so on. The personal project takes up a considerable amount of my time, meaning I have very little wind-down time or social time.

There are times when I feel such overwhelming despair, and others where I feel jubilant, energetic and generally satisfied with life.

This past week has been a bit of a whirlwind. Towards the start of the week, I felt like I was having a complete emotional breakdown. Before I left work one evening, I felt almost paralysed with a crushing, immense feeling of sorrow and dissatisfaction. Instead of walking straight to the train station, I walked down a side alley and kept on walking, eventually sitting down on a wall, just contemplating how on Earth anyone could possibly feel this terrible. It was an uncontrollable flood of emotion.

Literally 2 days later, I felt like I was on top of the world. The feeling was still uncontrollable, and I felt like I was slipping into myself, as in, I felt sheltered from the rest of the world - but not in a good way.

I'm alienating my friends and I'm not liking the person I'm transforming into.

One thing I'm particularly worried about is the possibility of having a brain tumour. Could something like this cause such symptoms?


7 Replies

  • Hey,

    I don't know much about brain tumors except that the the symptoms are a bit like a stroke, so dizziness, loss of function on one side, difficulty concentrating. Anyway you should go see the doc asap. Beware though if they think it's a mental health issue you probably won't get help in a hurry so manage your expectations. You are going to be your best ally here.

    You need to ballance your life. It's important, more important than projects and work. If you can't enjoy the fruits of your labour what's the point. You need rest, down time, healthy food, exercise, fun times. An unbalanced life is unsustainable. I had to learn this the hard way. It's not nice to hear. You can minimise your health issues with ballance before you end up on meds.

    Take care of your health, it's all you really have, the rest is icing on the cake.

    Go see the doc though,

    Good luck

  • My friend had a brain tumour & he wasn't like this he was in the depths of despair because he knew he could die ! & if you think for one second it's that ! I wouldn't be writing on here I would be at the docs asap! Sounds like a manic depression up & down moods or you spend too much time alone.,

    Hope you feel better soon x

  • So many people feel the way you describe. Please speak to your GP and tell them what you have told us. Good luck and keep us posted x

  • I'm going through the same thing, doctors just prescribed anti depressants for me, I honestly just think I need to find the reason why I feel low and overcome it, it's us who can help change how we think,

    In terms of being lonely, for me it was by choice but it is important to catch up with friends it helps! After a very long time I decided to meet a friend for desserts last night and it was a much needed day, I've been isolating myself for so long, it's not mentally good and will make us feel low and sad all the time

    All the best, you can feel better, slowly but gradually things will work out

  • I'm not a medic but it does n't sound like a brain tumour to me.

    Whatever the cause I think you should visit your GP having made a few notes on the lines of your post so that you can give a complete and honest account of your symptoms. There is no point in me guessing what you might have but it is very important you get a diagnosis to either set your mind at rest or to get appropriate treatment.

    Don't be alarmed at the prospect of a diagnosis. Medical science can always give some help towards treating a condition and you should welcome any help. It is always better to know what one has rather than burying your head in the sand and in my opinion whatever the diagnosis it will be better than a brain tumour

    Wishing you luck , Olderal

  • This sounds to me like the effects of stress , is it necessary for you to continue with your personal project at this time , don't push your boundaries too far , there is a breaking point


  • Perhaps Bipolar?

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