I'm in my early twenties and I live in London - alone.
I've been unstable for a long long time, but I have become far worse in the last 3 months. It's impossible to simplify, but I quite literally do not know what is going on with me.
I do have a lot on at the moment. I started a new job before Christmas and I've been working on a personal project in my spare time at weekends and so on. The personal project takes up a considerable amount of my time, meaning I have very little wind-down time or social time.
There are times when I feel such overwhelming despair, and others where I feel jubilant, energetic and generally satisfied with life.
This past week has been a bit of a whirlwind. Towards the start of the week, I felt like I was having a complete emotional breakdown. Before I left work one evening, I felt almost paralysed with a crushing, immense feeling of sorrow and dissatisfaction. Instead of walking straight to the train station, I walked down a side alley and kept on walking, eventually sitting down on a wall, just contemplating how on Earth anyone could possibly feel this terrible. It was an uncontrollable flood of emotion.
Literally 2 days later, I felt like I was on top of the world. The feeling was still uncontrollable, and I felt like I was slipping into myself, as in, I felt sheltered from the rest of the world - but not in a good way.
I'm alienating my friends and I'm not liking the person I'm transforming into.
One thing I'm particularly worried about is the possibility of having a brain tumour. Could something like this cause such symptoms?