He needed lots of support, so did his family. All he was offered was pills often mistakes
We're made
I want to fight to improve this service. To support all the people that suffer the same way he did. I don't know how to do this. Any help will be appreciated. Pat
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Patricia71
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Oh Pat, that is so so sad, and yes I agree with you that mental health teams can be far from perfect . That is so traumatic for you to go through.
I think you will be supporting just by posting on here about your loss for one thing. As well I would have to give some thought to it but depending on which part of the country you are in there are campaigning groups you could look into such as Mind and Sane and Action on Depression. If your son's funeral was only yesterday though Pat you will need to give yourself and other family members if there are any time to grieve and maybe talk through things with a counsellor if you feel that will help you. You must have such a lot of feelings at the moment . Gemmalouise
oh pat, i can only imagine how red-raw the family must be feeling, but thank you for the reminder of the fall-out left behind,
I don't know if it is just a typing error you mention mistakes made. hindsight is a pain you don't want to add on to yourself, and sometimes there is not a "right" action to begin with. but again thankyou for the reminder about people left behind. We forget sometimes. Gentle hugs..x x x A
You have all my sympathy as I myself have been let down so I know first hand what you mean, you tell them your suicidal and all you get are as you say pills and told to go away, you phone the crisis team they don't want to know and tell you to go to emergency dept where your left for hours. then thrown out and just left on the street. no one really cares and something needs to be done I have seen other families in exactly your position because they have been let down so badly. Take care and my very best wishes.
Thank you all for all the care expressed ,today, am going to fight for better mental health care,it is important that we are listened to and the experts talk together. Care across either board for depressed people and their families. My love to you all pat xx
Im very sorry to hear about your loss. Firstly write to your MP, ATTEND YOUR LOCAL COUNCILLORS SURGERY. Contact whoever is reponsible for your local Mental Health services and send in a complaint recorded delivery and keep a copy. Try to also contact them via email to record an electronic paper trail. Speak to mind but firstly only do this when you have the strength. HRH Im sure is a Patron of Mind the Charity you could write to him. The PM CAMERON is resposible for the cuts to our mental health/nhs services. Also the Media such as Radio 2 and 4 have discussion programes when issues such as this can be raised. I wish you strength and peace
As a sufferer who, like your son, who has been suicidal at various times and only given pills or in the case of 12years ago prolonged ECT which has caused brain damage, I feel deeply for you.
Yes, the services are pathetic but I don't know what the answer is.
My sincere condolences for a death that shouldn't have happened.
Lorraine
Hi Pat
Oh how sad. It is hard to lose a child whatever their age and whatever the circumstances, but will be particularly hard when you feel he was let down by people who should have been able to take care of his needs. Sadly it is increasingly happening with the cuts in services.
You say you want to fight to improve services for people who suffer the way he did and I think that is a really positive way of dealing with your loss. There are all too many people being let down by lack of resources and by attitudes that do not take any account of what the individual patients need. The world will never be ideal or perfect but mental health services can certainly do with improvement!
I wonder whether you might be helped by joining the local branch of Mind as there people with mental health problems often need someone to act as an advocate on their behalf. They will also know of local and national efforts to improve services. You might see whether there is a local mental health patients' forum which you can become involved with, also a carers centre locally as many people with chronic mental health problems are supported by their families. You could also volunteer with one of the telephone helplines or similar.
However before moving on you need time to grieve. The funeral was only yesterday and although you want to do something in order to ensure other people are helped the way your son wasn't it is important that first you allow yourself time to fully feel the extent of your loss. I do not know whether you have family support around you or the support of the local church or similar, but whether you do or not you may find it helpful to see someone from an organisation such as Cruse who are experienced in helping people to share their feelings of grief. Doing that will enable you to help others with the benefit of learning from your own experiences in relation to your son but without the intensity of emotion that will get in the way of your helping.
Take time and be gentle with yourself, it is hard to lose a child.
Evening im new on here, im so sorry to hear about your son, i too lost my mum last year, which made my mental condition worse, i even tried to end it, your so right about mental health team letting your son,myself and many more people down, at my lowest i did ask for help which was ages ago and so far im still waiting to hear something, oh i was given a help line number which the phone rate is sky high.
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