Hi, am new, I left my husband 3 months ago after 18 years together, I coped ok for the first few weeks, but recently I am just sad all

[kitty61]

The time and can't stop crying, I also stopped using Prozcac after being on it for 10 years. Am totally confuse about my feelings, do I really miss him or do I have a relapse of the depression?

[Photogeek]

Hi there Leaving a Marriage is always difficult and you have to grieve for that

Relationship. Did you leave marriage having thought it out or as a sudden thing. I think

A lot depends on the reason why you left. I would say it's easier to get over this if

You feel you did what was best for you. Why did you stop taking Prozac, I would

Think that this is the worst time to stop them.

I went through this myself over twenty years ago, it was very hard and I cried. Lot

Everyday. It's crying over lost hopes and dreams. Do you have anyone that you

Can get support from. Only you know yourself and if Depression continues a trip

To your GP would be. Good idea.

It's hard to know how to support you without knowing your circumstances. You will

Get through this time , the pain will lesson as time passes. Look after yourself and make sure you have gotten legal advice.

Hannah

[kitty61 in reply to Photogeek]

Thank you Hanna, I felt for a long time that love had died in our marriage and when I made my mind up I left quite quickly, leaving me now with days where I am sure i did the right thing and lots of doubts on other days, my husband still doesn't see anything was wrong which means he won't talk about it and I am so desperate for some answers. We life in a small community and see each other quite regular, he seems just to get on with live, and that this hurts me too, even so i left him. The other thing is the financial side, I struggle like mad, just getting an unexpected bill reduces me to tears. I stopped Prozac as my GP recommended it, saying being on it for 10 years won't do me any good. Went off it slowly but had some discontinuation issues, and that also now confuses me, I don't trust my feelings at all, because I don't know if it is depression or me.

[Photogeek]

Hi Kitty just make sure you get good legal a advice on your rights. If you feel you made a mistake would your husband be willing to go for counselling such as Relate

And try again. There is nothing wrong with that, maybe your husband is upset

But he is trying to put on a brave face. Could you arrange to Meet him and try and talk

Over everything honestly and see does he see any hope for your marriage.

A friend of mine left his wife a Few years ago , he missed his wife and children and his wife took him back a year later

They seem to be happy now eight yrs later. So don't see it written in stone,

Would talking with a Solicitor help you ? How will you be financially ? These are

Things you need to look at .Later on there will be more people on line who an

Give you their view.

Hannah

[Gambit62]

Sorry to hear about your marriage - it is very difficult when you realise that the feelings you once had aren't there any more.

Separation is a big change as Hannah says.

If you could persuade your husband to go with you to Relate that would good - but your post implies that he might not be open to that. However, the fact that you did leave means that he has to realise now that something isn't quite right so his attitude may have changed. Whatever the final outcome it could really help both of you come to terms with what has happened and decide on a way forward.

Divorce isn't the only option - but it would be good to get some legal advise on what your options really are and what the consequences of each are.

Your GP is right that being on Prozac for 10 years is not going to be doing you any good - can't quite remember the details but studies have shown that long term use it can lead to other health problems. Have you been in touch with your GP recently - if you haven't it would be a good idea to go back and talk through options - and even if you have it would be a good idea to talk about what is going on now.

As Hannah says, the separation is like a bereavement and that means that you will be going through grief. The GP may not feel, given this, that it is appropriate to put you on antidepressants again at the moment as sadness will be a natural part of what is happening and to some extent is something you need to go through.

Relate may be able to help you with thinking through the relationship side of things even if you can't persuade your husband to go along with you, as they do see people individually about relationship problems.

Try to take it one day at time and, as I think you have already decided, don't make any big decisions whilst you are feeling so fragile - that is a decision in itself, I know, but it I think it is the right decision.

[kitty61]

The idea of counseling is great, the only problem is I live in Portugal and the only thing they do is give you meds, there are no counselors on the NHS, the GPs have to deal with it or you have to go private which is very expensive. We tried 3 sessions with a counselor but it didn't work at the time at all, now would be the time, but she is the only one on a 100 km radius and I didn't get on with her. It might be right that he puts a brave face on, and he is doing a good job, I am so tearful all the time I hardly dare going out. I hope you are right and I cry so much because of the grief, was so happy to be of prozac and don't want to get back on. Very glad that I found found this site, to see others are having even worse problems makes me realise I am not too bad.

[coatpin]

coming off your meds, can be the real reason your feeling this way. withdrawal, can make you very emotional.

but if you go right downhill. Then you need to go back to your gp, and ask for something else that have less withdrawal symptoms .

[kitty61 in reply to coatpin]

I checked that out, its called discontinuation sympdrome, after 25 days 99% of the drug is out of your body and that's when you can get these symptoms, which I did. It helps to just take 1 tablet and you feel better, that's also the prove that it isn't a relapse, than just one pill wouldn't help. I took the advise I got on here and wrote a letter to my husband about my feelings, even though I feel on edge now, I feel better having done something.

[coatpin]

There is a book called prozac backlash, by joseph glenmuen, md. It is about america and they have done the 25 years tests that we havent done yet, but we have allsorts of drugs out there and dont know what the effects of this is going to be.

My son gave it me, finally I read it. it shocked and amazed me at the same time, america is so much further forward than we are. Much of my symptoms coming off those drugs were in the book, and my gp, without a care in the world just stop your meds, not realising the dreadful withdrawal effects are, and what can happen to us. take care x