Just broke up after 14yr relationship and now feel used, broken and drained..

[butterflykiss]

Suffering so bad with my depression and have been threw so much but still no better off than when I started. Now my relationship has broken up and I have been left on my own to do everything over again. My ex was the 1 who said I should get help and that he would be here for me. Now I am left with everything to do as he was the 1 who managed the money, bills ect.. I have got so bad that leaving my own home is a nightmare. I get so anxious, paranoid, stressed to the point of throwing up. I am in shock and I just don't have any answers plus it's effecting my sleep, my head and my body just feels like it's shutting down. Even typing this makes me feel like a failure. I dont do the "feel sorry" coz so many other's have harder times but I am so afraid of me....

[kevinc53]

I had the same problem, I broke up with partner after 5 years together and getting back on my own 2 feet was the hardest thing I've endured all my life. Not having the person in your life so long and changing that is difficult. Over time things will get better, I managed through this by the support of my family and friends and basically keeping myself preoccupied by doing things and going to work. Not leaving your own home and being alone is dangerous as this will lead to many thoughts and ifs and buts. I understand what your going through. Best thing you can do is to stay positive as hard as it is, preoccupy yourself with friends and family.

[butterflykiss in reply to kevinc53]

Thanks replyed below, still getting the hang of how this works.

[butterflykiss]

Thank you for answering Kevinc53. Yes it's hard and now his family no longer want me to visit my dads house (my ex dad who I was very close to). Both of his parents called me their daughter and after loosing my own father when I was 4 this ment so much to me. Mum (ex mother) died on 21 January this year and it was me who stayed with her till the end as I promised her I wouldn't leave her..This was so hard on the whole family and now it feels like I have lost not just a mother but now a father also. It is breaking my heart that I can't see him anymore and I don't understand why they are doing this to me. I have a son with Downs Syndrome who also has a trecha and needs care 24/7. He has always been my life but now I feel so useless. My own family are estranged from each other over my abuse as a child as they just want me to go away..I have a few really close friends who are so good but they also have their own problems and I don't want to burden them with mine. Life really has no meaning for me right now and that sounds so selfish but it the truth..Thank you for your kind words and I hope that you find happiness again..