It's been awhile, but I'm feeling low again...

[Ashley8992]

I am currently going through a divorce and I know it's a good thing because he was a mentally abusive, alcoholic man. Everyone keeps telling me I did the right thing by getting away, but I'm so scared of being alone. Now that I have been on my own for about a month I feel like I don't know what to do, like I don't know who I am. I have a job but it's hard for me to even get up and go. And on my off days I don't know what to do with myself, I feel like I am empty and have nothing.

[Satsuma]

You will soon get to know yourself again. You also need your confidence to bloom. I would advise you to take a break from relationships especially as you need time to heal from the abuse .. Been where you are and it gets so much better .. Learning about yourself again is a whole new process which takes time. Hold your head up high from fleeing from an abuser .. Its so good living with no nastiness .. Noone to shout at you .. Its heaven baby .. I'm a good few years on and still single .. The best position I have ever been in, it really is

[Ashley8992 in reply to Satsuma]

Would you seek out therapy or will this just take time?

[Hidden in reply to Ashley8992]

Hey give yourself a break it's only been a month. It will take longer than that to get used to being on your own again, but I guarantee you will feel much better in time. Or would you rather be with the mentally abusive alcoholic again?

Your life is yours again now and will give you the chance to find the relationship that you need and deserve in the future.

Be patient.

[Satsuma in reply to Ashley8992]

I've done many things to self help .. I joined some groups to help improve my confidence. There is no quick fox for this as it takes time .. We often fall into toxic relationships because we think we are not worthy of anyone who treats us with respect. We think its better to be with someone rather than noone. I know different now. I've turned the corner and have developed biceps now

[mysmugcat in reply to Satsuma]

Great post and good for you.

[Clazzy78]

Hey! Good for you! What a strong person you are.

Of course you did the right thing. You cannot be in a toxic relationship like that.

Would you like to see your Gp about how you are feeling? They may be able to help.

Best wishes 💗

[Ashley8992 in reply to Clazzy78]

I don't have any insurance or money right now. I'm trying to get through this on my own. I have good friends and family, but I feel like I don't if I can make myself happy. I try to take pride in my work and making money but when I'm not working I'm just empty. I have no enjoyment. I'm really trying to be happy but I'm also trying to recover and love myself but it's really hard.

[Hidden]

It's ok, you will be ok 🙂 💜 I'm sorry you were married to a jerk. It seems like a good thing that you two broke it off, it's a positive step to living a better life. Maybe you need to find yourself? Try taking on new activities. If there's anything you've been wanting to do, maybe give it a go. Little steps to becoming who you want yourself to be 👍 I know you're scared of being alone, but I think it might be the best thing for you. Sounds like. Now you can try to gain a good relationship with yourself and try to have a good life ☺ I'm sending positive vibes your way ☮🙂☯

[mherbie]

Goodbye mental abuse, goodbye to alcoholic ...been there... It's you time now! Small steps in learning to love yourself and love life ...🎉🎉 Try seeking out Louise Hay books and online..She is an amazing lady and writes founder of Hay House.

Wishing you well on your journey...you have a life to live! 💜

[spzgirl51]

Hello Ashley8992 ,

I sympathize with your feeling. I made the mistake of marrying a very controlling man who seemed to take pleasure in hurting me physically and mentally over several years. I was left feeling empty and scared too.

My advice is be kind to yourself. You have taken a hugely positive step. You have been through a huge trauma. It is bound to take time before you start to feel human again? Take your time.

It is 20 years next year since I left my husband and i recently asked for post traumatic stress counselling using steps2wellbeing. And i am on the waiting list I feel a huge sense of relief that i have done so.

I thought i was managing, but watching many abusive relationships in many different tv programs recently seemed to be bringing up old ghosts for me so i asked for help.

I really hope you find peace too you are safe now.

Please look after yourself , you deserve it xx