an unsaid conversation, an unexpressed love...

last night i was feeling down, coz i was missing my sister..it was hurting actually coz i am away from her and sometimes i want to talk to her..just want to listen to her voice.i always miss her and time spent with her..it was the best part of my life.last night i wished i could hug her and say sorry to her for what happened in our relationship...for the pain i gave her...i wished i could tell her how much i love her, but i know that whenever i will meet her, i won't be able to say that coz i am extremely shy person..i used to share each and everything with her. but now i think perhaps she might have changed. i will loose control upon myself when i will find her changed. its just not that i can't forget her,but i miss that love and i can't find it anywhere else. every time i miss her i try to sleep with a pillow by my side....is it easy to accept peoples' change so easily??? i mean only i take more time to forget such relationships or others also do..they also take same time???

it really hurts when i think of her as not being my real sister...i know some of you would say talk to her...but i find it difficult talking to her coz i don't know her feelings presently, whether she will like it or not and most important whenever she does not want to talk to me or has some work..she talks as if it is just a formality...and it hurts me, upsets me, makes me off..i don't know then for how many days i will cry in my bed.....

[Hidden]

here's a another GREATTTT news...she removed me from her facebook ID...now what do i expect from her???? i am totally shattered... what should i do now??? its just like laughing upon myself...

[Gambit62]

Have you tried writing a letter to her explaining that you are sorry for what happened - it doesn't have to be one that you sent her but it might help you come to terms with things and forgive yourself.

[Jeffju]

Like Gambit says, I would try writing down exactly how you feel towards your sister. You may end up sending , you may not but it will help you get your feelings out and ,hopefully, find some relief. This pain really hurts. Thinking of you, Julie xx

[Hidden]

is there any way to be alone for always...where nobody could reach you ????

[Gambit62]

You can shut down completely emotionally but I don't think it is a good idea because although it means that you don't risk the great pains of loss and separation it also means that you can't experience the great joys of being connected either.