I volunteered to do a big chunk of work for a volunteer project. The other person organizing the project just asked for a second design in an ugly format, which takes about an hour to perfect. The first design took 2 hours to finish, and as a volunteer, I'm also responsible for personally paying for and producing 1200 copies of the work.
Here's the real issue: I feel disrespected and unheard.
I have felt that way with this person before.
I feel angry and annoyed, in part because of the disrespect.
Complicating that... I'm fighting depression and this reminds me a great deal of issues from the past.
The volunteer work is important to me, and I've been very supportive.
I went in knowing this could happen as he did this on a past project.
My goal is to get through this without losing my patience.
I've already dropped some self respect.
Here's my cure so far:
There won't be a next time. This is something I find stressful and despite awareness, it still bothers me.
I'll do it because the project matters.
Unlike last time, I said how I feel about the second sample, which I didn't finalize because of the time frame. If he insists on it, I'll perfect that and try to let go of how annoyed I feel about a volunteer peer bossing me around in my area of expertise.
I didn't cause it (his arrogance), I can't fix it, even though I would like to.
It's not as important as it feels.
It does, however, hurt.
I'm very aware of how much I judge myself because of his disrespect of my time and skills, and because of how I'm feeling.
I'm gonna get through this. The depression is complicating something simple so it feels!!! like a crisis, even though it isn't.
Reinforcement appreciated. (I do get how I contribute to the situation).