Still having major diarrhoea (sorry), and living off ensure plus, I dont know whats wrong with me, my nurse was meant to see me again today, but I had to cancel it, I just cant face it, as well as work issues. Been having to take 4 times the dose of sleeping pills to force myself asleep at night, I dont know how to go on, there is no point phoning breathing space anymore as they (and the samaritans) do not give advice, they make that very clear. But I do not know what to do. Except to keep cutting, and trying to sleep. My work have made it very clear that I will be expected to go back to full time soon, I havent even managed the little I am supposed to do at the moment, I am so terrified. I really want to speak to Neil, I see him every night, one of the reasons I cant sleep, but im not able to communicate with him and it really upsets me. Sorry.
Still stuck...: Still having major... - Mental Health Sup...
Still stuck...
Aw emms, I'm mentally giving you lots of huge hugs. What's wrong is that your brain has blown a fuse and needs care and treatment to sort it out. It's really going to be tough on you if you go full time with no treatment and support - I know you feel like you can't go to the doctors because they won't think there's anything wrong with you. I understand that, I felt the exact same myself. But explain to them what you've told us on here and they really will help. You don't even have to talk, print the posts you've written on here and give them to the GP. Is there anyone who could take you so you don't have to be on your own?
How are you finding eating at the moment? Is it still difficult?
yes I still just live off Ensure plus
Aw honey, I feel for you, I wish there was something I could do for you.. And you're so right about the samaritans and breathing space, I phoned them a few times but all you get of them is; 'ah I see', 'eheem'. 'oh right' and that kind of response, which is absolutely no use whatso-ever!
I don't want to slag them, coz I know these people give up their spare time to try and help people and don't get paid for it, but I said the exact same thing the other night when I was having my little 'crisis' and shouted for help on here.
And help I got!! Everybody was so lovely, and I felt so much better afterwards, just knowing people cared and I wasn't alone!
maybe you should do the same, everytiem you feel like the way you're feeling just now, just post a 'HELP' post on here, and I guarantee you people will be all too glad too help, even if its just a wee two line post, believe me, it really really helped me the other night!
I know it's not gonna be the solution to all your problems, but it will help for the time being.
You're a lovely person and people care about you, and nobody wants to see you suffer like this!
Promise me you'll keep posting everytime you feel like you can't go on, even if it's constant, every other second if you have to! Because you can't go on like this, and it breaks my heart reading your posts as I know how it feels..
I've even been doing a bit better with the self-harming thanks to this forum and the people on it, I had a shower today and my cuts and wounds didn't look so raw and messy, and in the past that would've made me want to make it worse again, but this time I looked at my arms and thought, with satisfaction, 'that's starting to look better, maybe one day I'll be able to wear short sleeves again!'
I know all these things can turn like the weather, and tomorrow I might go nuts again and undo all the good work I've been doing regarding that, but just for today, it made me smile, and gave me a bit of hope.
I wish I could give you some of my hope and help you in some kind of way, the only way I can think of right now is to TALK, keep posting, and if you want to have a private chat with me, you know I'm always here for you!!
Try and keep going Emms, we're all here for you, and we're all thinking of you..
Lots of love and a big, warm wrapped-all-the-way-round-you hug, Holly Xxxx
thanks for the kind words, it helps to know people understand xx
Anytime Emms, it's been done for me and I know how much it helps.. I might just have been rambling on, but it comes from a good place.. I just feel so powerless and wish there was something I could do for you..
Just hang in there, things will get better eventually, even it doesn't seem like that just now..
Love, Holly xxx
and yes thats exactly what I get from Samaritans and Breathing space x
I know, they're not the greatest help when you're having a crisis... Xxx
I ended up phoning breathing space again, and they yet again put me through to NHS 24, but as usual I failed. They took my details, asked me if I could get to the hospital for an appointment, but I dont drive and it was the middle of night so no buses, so she made me an appointment for today at 1pm, but I just couldnt face going. Its ridiculous. It makes me want to hurt myself even more, as these people are trying to help me and im a waste of their time. I did phone the hospital to let them know I wouldnt make it.
Don't say that!! You're not wasting anybody's time! You need help, and they're not giving you it. Plus you phoned the hospital and told them you couldn't make it so you didn't waste anybody's time!
Somebody should come to you and give you a home-visit.
That's what happened to me when I was really bad and I couldn't get to appointments and things, the only thing is, I can't remember how I managed to get that.. I'm sure somebody on this forum will know how you go about that,
coz you can't go on like this, you need help, and if you can't go to them they should come to you!
Or even getting a taxi to the hospital, would you be able to manage that?
I know it costs money, but if it gets you the help you need it would be worth it,
and if you haven't got it I'm sure somebody will be kind enough to lend you it til you next get paid!
Or is there maybe somebody that could come with you to the hospital, a good friend, or a familymember?
There's got to be a solution, I'll keep thinking and looking things up on the computer and if I come up with anything or find anything I'll let you know straight away! In the meantime, try and keep your chin up as much as you can, and try and get yourself to a hospital if you can!!
Lots an lots of love and a big hug, Holly xxx
Hello emms
You really need to talk to someone urgently, have you tried to get through to the crisis team yet, you really need that help to talk to someone before you hurt yourself. Is there no-one able to take you to A and E. or someone you can talk to
face to face. If your not right Monday you must get to see the GP.
Do you have any mental health groups locally that can give comfort and support when you need it . If not discuss that with your GP He may be able to help If there.as a group it will always be there for you. Just there for a tea and chat
Look after yourself
BOB
Hey emms. Think in small steps - you made the appointment, that's a positive. It's really not your fault if you didn't feel able to go. The depression you and I have, it's an illness, not a reflection on our characters. You didn't fail so please don't blame yourself. I really do wish there was some way I could help you...I don't suppose you're a Londoner? If not you can always message me on here if you're down and want someone to talk to.
Have you rung you HR department? Working for my authority, you can take up to a year off before anyone can make you return to your normal hours.
Aaah that's very difficult then isn't it .... X
Hi thee i live in the U.K. and i don't know how your system works, if your not eating and taking sleeping tablets they will upset your stomach badly try eating even if it keeps coming out the more tablets to stop you from going the longer it takes to stop let it run its course ddrink water it will work
I havent eaten for a long time really, just lived off liquids. I was in hospital for four months, and they were trying to address it, but it was so busy they just gave up in the end and let me live off ensure.
seeking help for some1
Tired so very tired
