Just started psychotherapy...feeling a bit awkward...

Ok, after having been diagnosed with dysmythia last year I have just started weekly psychotherapy sessions which I'm having for a year.

My therapist is lovely and I don't have a problem with her as such. But, I'm feeling a bit uncomfortable about the many awkward 'silences' during the sessions. When I go into the room with her we sit down and she doesn't say anything & just looks at me. I think this is probably to get me to open up & talk about what's on my mind, I then ramble on about the week I've had and she sometimes interjects with her take on things but I do most of the talking.

When I've run out of things to say, I look at her and she looks at me and neither of us say anything & this can go on for a long time until I think of something to say. The thing is I hate awkward silences at the best of times (I hate 'small talk' even more!) so I find myself getting all flustered and end up blurting out anything that comes to mind even if it's a repeat of something I've already said.

Overall the sessions are going well, it's just these silences & staring episodes which seem to go on for an age are throwing me off balance and are making me feel slightly anxious.

Not sure if I should approach her about how I feel.

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Can anyone shed some light on these silences?

They are obviously a therapy tactic of sort.

I'd be interested to know why?

Thanks

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Hi, yes they are allowing the space to be yours to use however you like and for her desire to talk not to interfere with you. If you find them uncomfortable or really awful you can tell her that, therapy is for you to say how you feel whatever that is like. Hope you continue to feel you can talk, just say whatever you feel. Suexx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Sue. I thought that this the case. So, if I don't think of anything to say then we will both just sit there staring at each other? How awkward! But, obviously my issue to get over.

Hope you are feeling better x

[Jipje in reply to Hidden]

Hi there. I have been in the same situation. The silence is giving me panick attacks and I have made it clear that I do not like them. I have no problem with silence but the problem is the observation during this process. The sitting opposite me and the starring at me and the expectation for me to say something. I am a talker at the best of times but not in situations like this. I just block up during these sessions. I wish I could just turn my back towards my therapist. I have however made it clear that it made me uncomfortable and he told me that this was not his job to do so. He is now filling these awkward moments with more questions. Which is better for me. Please advise your therapist to do the same. Good luck.

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Hi, No thanks not at all what I meant, you don't have to just sit there, the idea is for you to share with the therapist how you feel about them not speaking and the silences. It is difficult, but that is the process of therapy, it's sharing that kind of feeling that enables you to work through the emotions that you need to. Do tell her how you feel! Suex

[Gambit62]

Sue is spot on. Please do tell your therapist that the silence is making you feel uncomfortable. She is there to help you so she isn't going to get offended and it will probably be a breakthrough moment.

Not a great fan of small talk myself ... I tend not to be worried about long silences though. They are often useful points at which I can focus on just being, rather than being anxious or depressed or all the other labels we put on ourselves ... but there are times when I would be and I think a therapy situation is probably one of those times

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Thanks Sue & Gambit for your replies. Yes, I will mention how I feel to the therapist next week.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Great. I know it's easier said than done to always tell a therapist how you feel about being in therapy but it is one of the most important aspects of the work especially if it interferes with feeling at ease. Suex