stressed

Hi all! So I've been in a relationship for about 3.5 years, it's been okay. However early this week my partner started to watch Andrew tates(I think) podcasts and it seems as though he agrees with this "ways". One thing that surprised me is when he came out with is, if his Mrs did only fans and they had to be together, he expects 80% of what she earnt because his woman, is his property. So when I asked my partner he didn't say anything he just went quiet and apparently he can't talk to me about these things because I'm too small minded and don't think about these things. Personally as a woman I would hate to be called someone's property, I hate labels enough as it is and I'm genuinely confused. Is it me being stupid?

[Hidden]

Edit: he doesn't agree with all his statements however the few he did genuinely shocked me. Idk if I'm looking into it too much.

[welly10]

No one is anyone's property but their own.

[Hidden in reply to welly10]

I agree. I just don't agree with this Andrew tate and I'm genuinely concerned for my partner for watching them, or for anyone watching him. people get influenced without even realising. I don't agree with him as he seems himself as the alpha male. It's weird. I have always been controlled to some extents with family or previous relationships which is why I left, but I don't want to throw another relationship away I just don't know how to go about talking to my partner without them getting annoyed

[welly10 in reply to Hidden]

Unfortunately your willing to put up with something that is really wrong no one should be controlled by anyone but yourself.you say you don't want to throw away another relationship again well 2 options either talk to your partner about your feelings or put up with something you know is wrong or leave the relationship to find one that is right.no woman or man should be controlled.

[SoporRose]

Run. If your partner is willing to entertain these ideas, I think you're in danger.

[Hidden in reply to SoporRose]

I don't know how much he agrees with this guy but I think I need to find out. Its something I'm terrified to do because it's been 3.5 years of us and I struggle with seperation anxiety from him, but I can't be with someone who thinks I'm property. I'd like to think even if he agrees with that guy, he doesn't inflict those stupid rules onto our relationship. If he does then I think your right. Running is the best way forward. I'd hate to do it and start all over again but I need to make sure I don't end up in the same situation again.

[JessFM]

Oh Dear, I think it is best to find out what he REALLY thinks. I don't agree with us being our partners property. I'd ask him to reword that as a property is an object and might make you feel disrespected and that you would like to think that you are both in a relationship and that you are his woman/partner but not his property but that you are ofcourse committed to him. Just try find out for yourself sweet, don't let others influence your decision though. I have been in a similar position myself and it wasn't healthy for me. All the best 🌸

[Hidden]

Hi! I think so too, it's just difficult to bring it up because he will saying something like I'm not open minded or see if from his view, but honestly it makes 0 sense in my head, it just feels like control. I don't mind being called "his girl" but I'm not property and it's said to think people think that of there partners. And thank you!! Will definitely try talk tk him soon, keep you updated 💜 also I'm so sorry you've been in similar situation!

[Kathy0797]

Maybe try to listen to his views without responding… he will shut down as soon as he realises he’s said something you don’t agree with….. Try and find out what his true views are, not the views he thinks you want to hear. Then have a think. You won’t b able to change him or his views.

[Hidden in reply to Kathy0797]

I think that's a good idea. I'm happy to listen to what he's saying (even if it is wrong) but after that how do I go about correcting that behaviour? I don't like being friends with people who support Andrew tate, let alone having a partner who thinks the guy is right about women... I know you can't change anyone but surely people must realise how hurtful it is being called property, or how useless women are etc. Those kind of comments.