Haven't posted before, been trying to keep a lid on things

[soozy1984]

Hello, I've been reading this Page for a wee bit and it is really good to help me realise I'm not suffering alone.

However I'm struggling now. Again...

I'm finally getting seen by psychological services in my local area after 10 years of going back and forward to them and them sending me to counselling And the counselling not helping me. It's been hard.

I'm finding things really hard just now. I'm not sleeping, when I do get to sleep I don't stay asleep for very long. I have a 3 year old and I also have Fibromyalgia. I work 35 hours a week and it's pointless because I'm worse off now than I was on benefits. I can't cope anymore. I feel like I'm on the verge of a breakdown. I cannot do this any more

[Suzie40]

Hi, and welcome to the forum! I'm glad you've gained so much from reading other people's blogs - I do too. I understand how you feel about being worse off working. It's horrible thinking that you work hard, see nothing of your kids, only to have less money in the bank than people on benefits. However, there are many positives to going to work, even if they're not all financial.

Keeping your brain ticking over is a must if you're going to face depression head on. For people at home, the temptation to stay in bed and slip into endless days of nothingness is so strong. For me, the routine of getting up, getting the kids ready and getting to work (even if I rarely feel like going) is necessary. Also, going to work is sending an important message to your the year old about the importance of working to provide for yourself.

Have you got long to wait for your referral to psychological services? It might be worth trying to hang on to your current situation until you see how you get on there? X

[Hopetobehappy2013]

Hiya, that's great that you are seeing psychology, and I agree with seize, you are doing well and work is good for your well being, as is eating well and exercise. Isn't it always darkest before the dawn? You should be proud of what you are achieving and care for yourself xxxx

[soozy1984]

Hi guys.

I'm feeling a little bit more positive today. I had a chat with my managrr at work who is so understanding and really takes time to listen. She is fantastic. Im going to do reduced hours for a month so help me out a bit.

Psychology starts on 15th May can't come quick enough. I just felt totally hopeless when I made the original message. Not out of the woods yet but getting there xxx

[Hopetobehappy2013]

I'm so glad you're feeling abit better and your boss is so supportive! Let us know how you get on, I will keep my fingers crossed for you xxx

[soozy1984]

Thank you that's very kind words. Today I dipped again. Dont seem to be having 2 days the same at the moment. Wasnt feeling the love today at all. My boss is wonderful and is even texting me in the evenings after work to make sure I'm ok. Xx