Why am I depressed even though every in my life is good?

[Golfer15]

I have suffered with depression for many years and some things have given me reason to feel like this ie. Job I didn't like. I now have a new job and my family are great although we have the usual problems, ie. Keeping tidy, not being late for school bus etc.

Life generally is good but I still feel really fed up. WHY?

I am tired, short tempered, no energy, feel useless, no motivation etc.

This doesnt make sense. I have had counselling, done CBT, take medication. I have coping strategies but they don't always work. I feel a fraud when I read some peoples stories on here. People don't understand when I say I suffer with depression.

Is this normal to still feel like this?

[Golfer15]

So tired I can't write properly. Should be everything in my life is good.

[Suzie40]

You must never feel a fraud. Some people's lives can look awful on paper, and you can read their blogs and wonder how they are possibly even functioning. It doesn't make them any more entitled than you to feel depressed, though. I think depression is easier to accept if there are visible difficulties - a marriage break up, redundancy, bereavement, illness etc. You feel that's it's ok to be depressed, because it's almost expected. When your life to a passer by looks tip top, you end of feeling guilt ridden for not being happy. It really doesn't make any difference how good or bad your life is. I've got two beautiful, clever children, yet a friend of mine with a severely disabled son always seems happier than me. I own my home and have a successful career, yet I envy a friend of mine who has done nothing with her life, but can meet her child at the school gates every afternoon. It's all relative x

[Golfer15]

Thanks for these comments Suzie. It makes me feel a bit better. Glad you understand.

David

[Jeffju]

I can relate to you so well. My life is pretty good, a lovely husband, two succesful daughters in good relationships. Life should be so good. But this depression/ anxiety takes the edge and enjoyment from my life. i know it's all down to me. like you I have had lots of help with meds, CBT etc but can't seem to get over that last hurdle to feel 'normal'. I would give anything to be back there again. Hope your day goes as well as can be. xxx

[Golfer15]

Thanks Jeffu. Its good to know we arent alone. Today has been ok. I've been to work which gives me purpose. I've decided that feeling 'normal' doesnt exist. What is normal anyway. My life is full of my mood changes znd I just have to live with it. Its not easy at times as you know but oh well - one day at at a time.

[Sherston]

Depression is an illness and not a feeling. Many sports players, top ones, have had depression and think the same as you. You aren't alone and please remember no matter what some might say, it's an illness not an indulgence.

[Golfer15]

Thanks Sherston. Just what I needed today as I had this conversation with my wife last night. She asked me why do I feel like I do when my life is good.

Thanks!

[Hidden in reply to Golfer15]

Hi just caught your 'old' messages. Wonder how you are doing now Golfer15? How are things with your wife? Sometimes even our nearest and dearest just cannot figure out how we are feeling!But it is often just in our 'makeup' if you get me. Someone was horrible to me years ago about my having to take pills. They just didn't even try to understand!! And I've suffered with depression+anxiety most of my life. The trouble with mental probs is that they are not visible like a broken limb etc!

Hope all well?

Debfigroll 🙏🏻🙏🏻

[Sherston]

No problem. I'm glad I can be useful sometimes

[Golfer15]

Im sure you are useful most of the time. That is one of my problems. I often feel useless.

I did some diy recently and it went wrong. Nothing is right. Or so it seems. I have to refer back my cbt notes and see what I am doing wrong. Its all about changing our thought patterns. Not easy but it can help at times.

[Sherston]

Thing is, DIY is notoriously inefficient, unless yer really good at it and even then its never perfect

Indeed it is. Sometimes. If it's working for you grand stuff, keep at it.

I think you'll be fine.