Stress and dealing being in the 40s - Men's Health Forum

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Stress and dealing being in the 40s

Chops09 profile image

Hi first post, here goes, I am in my mid 40s with a small but great family and house etc,

I currently work in agriculture and have been passionate about the work I do throughout all my life. The hours are long and the role is stressful and pressured and becoming lately unbearable and do almost every day feel that’s I am the punch bag between the business and farmers I deal with ( feel like the middle man ) and fed up with dealing with people.

It’s relentless and getting worse, it drags me down and have now started to consistently not sleep , constant ingestion and can’t switch off, I have spoken to the bosses and whilst they say they are doing things to support, it just never seems to change and after the last 3 years i am starting to lose my patience.

Due to my upbringing I have a constant fear on the back of my mind about not bringing in the money and providing my family with the good life they deserve and worry that a change might not work out. When I speak to friends and family I know they just say if it is right just change but most have a good safety buffer finically and have qualifications, my role has been based on experience and very specialised, I only have basic qualifications.

Understand that I am lucky compared to others but do worry about the stress and the impact it could have on myself and family.

Questions to you all in the similar position

How do deal with this.?

Did you change?

Ideas of changing but minimise the risk.?

Sorry for the question but will be interesting on the responses.

3 Replies

I would look for a new career. Im 49 and been in office jobs all my life, hated every second if it, I get anxiety, heart burn, it's not worth it. There are millions of people in the same situation. If you can, do something else. Or use the skills you have to change to a better position in the same industry.

I understand about provinding for your family. I am on social seceurity and get like 800 a month for my whole family.. I had to learn to minimize my expenses. If you really think you might be able to see a few things I can do with out witch will help with the current stress kinda. But if your not happy at your job that is miserable to do to your self. I mean unless that’s the only choice. Or could you make some changes with your family for a move or a I’ll call it a restructure. All of you sit down and tlk. Let your family know how your feeling. I know it might be uncomfortable but if you all share your feelings about it maybe your family can look at it too and maybe have some ideas or maybe say if your not happy at your job Dad Or your wife, then I don’t want you to keeep doing it. I’m sure it’s effecting your family cause your not your self and your not happy and I’m sure they feel that…

Talking about it is the first step, really important all men speak about mental health. We all have it, just a question as to where on the spectrum you are… good, okay, not so good, and bad. Think of it from green to below to orange to red. Red zone is when you cannot sleep etc.

Control the controllable, if all out of your control continue to speak with managers, offer solutions. Perhaps take a staycation to recover.

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