Apprehension: Age 32, Looking to be with... - Men's Health Forum

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Apprehension

shyguy_timid
shyguy_timid
52 Replies

Age 32, Looking to be with a girl for the first time, and I'm worried about how my penis looks. When measured flaccid I'm just over 5 1/4in. When erect a bit longer. Obvious first time anxiety especially at age 32 (sigh). I faced a trauma as a child, and was sexually humiliated by two female baby sitters in their 20's, who got off on belittling and humiliating men/boys, I was 7 years old, and they didn't leave out anything they made fun of my weight my clothes my physical appearance my penis, and said I was a loser. This crushed my self esteem and ruined my ability to have relationships even into high school, I literally avoided women even ones that seemed to like me, out of fear and post traumatic stress. Finally worked up the courage right at the end of high school to tell a girl that I was crazy about how I felt she stopped me in my tracks and told me not to say anything further, instant rejection, which after all those years of pain to work up enough courage to try and get what I wanted, it was like being humiliated all over again. I kinda gave up on myself and became introverted, then was encouraged to go to a therapist to try and talk about my feelings and what happened. It really helped put things into perspective and from a comfortable standpoint which made me feel better about sex in general, when in the past it was some times hard to even watch pornography because of how it made me feel about my self. Now years later I'm much healthier, last two years I've lost 130 pounds in body fat put on 27 pounds of lean muscle, and next month having plastic surgery to remove the excess skin, seeing an excellent doctor. Also found out at age 27 that I have hypogonadism so from the age of 13 to 27 my testosterone was at the level of a 90 year old man, explaining a lot of the uncontrollable anxiety, when trying to talk to a girl. Finally gotten to a point were things are looking up and I want to experience sex (32 years is a long time). My biggest concern is my penis I suffered with a little self dysmorphic disorder which is were a person can only see flaws in themselves, but that's gotten better. But no matter what I'm still worried about feeling embarrassed because of my penis shape, size, appearance, etc...

Wanted to know if it looked okay. Camera shy could only get about half mast.

52 Replies
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Michael123321

It's perfect and your measures are normal and good! You don't have anything to worry about. Good luck :)

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shyguy_timid

Thank you very much :)

Its been a journey but finally feel like a man again. Truly thank you.

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Michael123321

I am happy for you, I hope that you will be able to live your life as better as possible :)

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bibbybobbybebs

That cock is perfect, it looks amazing! Lucky woman!

- coming from a female xx

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shyguy_timid

thx :)

you made me blush, and smile big.

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bibbybobbybebs

It’s alright sweetheart. Have you used it yet? & you deserve all the confidence in the world because I promise you - there’s nothing wrong with your penis. As another commenter said, if she genuinely likes you then she won’t pay attention to your size (and there’s most certainly nothing to worry about in the size/shape department :)

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shyguy_timid

have not used it yet but this is the first time back in town since going through intense changes to lose weight gained from depression and just feeling like I had no chance. I literally look like half the person I did before and some of the girls have noticed, its odd yet feels great that I can see interest in their eyes. Odd only because im not used to it. Did lock eyes with a pretty girl at local minimart tonight, she made a mistake in telling me about a truck that didn't belong to me , I kindly said thank you sweaty, but that's not my truck. She alomost blushed kinda got bashful, but we did look into each others eyes for longer than a normal look would be. its a good start.

She had to get back to work so wasn't much time to talk, but its a planted seed. I imagine wont happen over night but just feeling good about getting out again, and being noticed.

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shyguy_timid

Found a girl on dating app. Kind of excited about her but trying to play it cool. She's beautiful I mean the kind of beautiful were a guy see's her and everything slows down in time, lets get it on by barry starts playing as she flows through the room, then the guy trips over his own feet kind of beautiful.

Wish me luck :)

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bibbybobbybebs

Have you had any luck yet? 😉

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shyguy_timid

Unfortunately no, hit kind of a road block. Used two dating apps just to try and feel people out and talk a bit. Found a girl that made my heart palpitate and throb. Crashed and burned really bad. She looked much more beautiful on the outside than she did on the inside, not sexually, she was just not a nice person. Got cold feet a little now about stuff, but I'm not giving up. Also for the first time I told my family and friends what happened to me as a child. Didn't know what kind of reaction I was going to get, but its been nothing but support. Guys I haven't seen since high school have come out of the wood work to get back in touch. They all finally understand why I never had a girlfriend, and why I'm still a virgin. Bless them, they have been supporting me. None of them ever knew.

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Stinkpot56

Shy guy you have nothing to worry about and especially your penis. This person you are looking to have sex with. Will probably Latch on to you and never let go. Have fun and enjoy the ride.

Keep us posted when it happens.

Wishing you the very best in your quest for sex and especially your confidence within your self

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shyguy_timid

Will do

Thank you for your time, and your kind words.

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shyguy_timid

found a girl on dating app. She's got me a bit mesmerized. sent here a message god I hope it can happen with her, for more reasons than her being attractive she actually wants a relationship not just sex, which is cool. trying to keep my cool, told here, that her eyes are beautiful and hypnotic, she added me to her mutual list though. Any crossed fingers thumbs up prayers fung shway you can throw my way would be most appreciated.

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NotHot77

Shyguy, fully agree with all the above guys comments. You go for it n live your best life 👍🏽 by the way the majority of guys have the same insecurities about there penis at some point in life 😉

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beardy_chris

Perhaps think of it this way: you won't be examining her body looking for signs of imperfection, will you? Likewise she will have other things on her mind when you get down to it. Just relax and enjoy! :)

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shyguy_timid

That is a good insight, thank you very much.

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mikeski1956

Hi, I know it's your first time, but don't be in a hurry to get your penis in, take your time exploring her body, kissing her all over.

Maybe she'll of had sex before so try and make it good for both of you.

Wham bang thank you mam is not what you want, make sure your not going to get districted, or untrusted, get everything ready condoms close to hand, last thing you want is to go find one.

Just make it special for you both, don't go for gold by cumming first, go for silver cum second, or even cum together.

Don't worry about your penis it's plenty big enough

Just relax and enjoy.

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shyguy_timid

My biggest focus will be her. I think there are guys who are in it for themselves, but the truth is I'm at my most passionate when a girl is at hers.

I have read up all about the female anatomy as it pertains to sex, I read about do's and dont's, body language of a woman, the different positions and why woman like certain positions better, foreplay, Ive read these things as an investment in being a better man. Honesty though, I have one secret weapon in my arsenal so to say.

The dose of testosterone I get weekly is quite large do to lack of muscle growth in early life, and maintaining the muscle now. My doctors know about my past and my desires now and they understand.

My secret weapon is after my T-injection I'm extremely virile and can go for long periods of time easily controlled, plus I can have about 3-5 orgasms and not lose my erection unless I choose to settle down, and the effect lasts for about 5 days, and slightly reduces, but two days later I get my injection again. These injections will be for the rest of my life because my hypogonadism is related to a gene mutation, so it cant be cured but it can be well treated. This is obviously a big deal but I'm trying to take things at a certain pace to find a girl who will REALLY enjoy that, but a girl who makes me feel comfortable with her. Its one big thing that is helping my confidence at the moment plus the support, and encouragement I've gained from others.

Thank you for taking the time to respond. :)

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Snip1968

Your penis looks great. Nothing to be worried about. Good luck and have fun.

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shyguy_timid

thanks :)

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Hidden
Hidden

Hey man sorry about all you have been through. Your penis looks fine to me. I am a grower so am small when flaccid but about 5.5” when hard which sounds similar to your hard size. You are a good size and you should not be afraid to try to use it.

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shyguy_timid
shyguy_timid
in reply to Hidden

Thank you very much, It has been difficult. I'm the kind of person who can look at a bad part of my life and only take away the good that came from it, and even in my case some of the worst stuff just made me stronger over time.

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Hunglow

Just fuck dont matter if your a shower or a grower or have a micro penis.

Shag the shit out of the lass and if your worried about her not thinking your big enough fucking smash your cock into her ass dry as shit and I guarantee she wont say your 2 small.

Nothing wrong with a bit if a bloody shitty dick bro

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Middleagedbloke

Are you a professional sex therapist?

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metalminded

Hi Shyguy.

Believe me, you're fine. I'm 50 and lost my virginity when I was 33. She ended up being my wife. I was very apprehensive the first time we were together. My penis is smaller than yours. I'm 4" hard, decent thickness.

I too have body dysmorphic disorder, both because of the size of my penis and other issues. Even though we've been married for 14 years, I still obsess over the size of my penis.

You shouldn't be shy at all or timid with a woman. The harassing you got at 7 years old was terrible. You were a little boy still, you hadn't started to grow at all yet. Do your best to put that aside, you are not that little boy anymore.

You're got a great looking penis and more than big enough to satisfy any woman!!

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shyguy_timid

That's awesome that you guys ended up together, truly romantic. Hearing things like that is wonderful.

I actually made eyes at a girl tonight at the local mini mart/ gas station. She pointed out two flat tires on a truck she thought belonged to me, and I simply said thank you sweaty but that's not my truck, she kinda got bashful probably a little embarrassed about telling the wrong person but we locked eyes for what seemed like longer than normal, then she had to go back to work. But it was cool I think women are noticing me more and I haven't done much to change my appearance so I think Im actually showing a level of confidence that they are reacting to, its kinda cool.

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metalminded

Thank you! We talked about it and she said she never cared about size. There are so many more things that are more important than the size of a guys penis.

That's great! Sounds like your confidence is improving!

Have you considered online dating sites?

That's how I met my wife. Funny enough we have mutual friends, but never met.

It worked for me and other friends. Give it a try

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shyguy_timid

actually I've been considering it since the typical date would be pretty nerve racking for me. Getting to know someone a bit might ease the pressure.

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metalminded

It definitely did. I corresponded with a few women then found the right one!

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shyguy_timid

I joined the plenty of fish app, added the details about my life was honest about everything , even childhood experience. Threw up some pictures, said I was a virgin and overnight got 21 girls that want to meet me. Was not expecting that at all. There is one girl out of all of them that caught my eye right away. I'm kind of flustered inside about her. I sent her a message, was nervous. Told her, her eyes were beautiful and hypnotic, which came from the heart, but in retrospect may have been coming on strong. She put me in her mutual section, so maybe wasn't too strong. I'll be honest I kinda hope we can talk cause she may be the one, got a feeling.

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metalminded

That's great! You'll get a better idea about them once you start to communicate more.

I didn't meet in person for probably a month after we started talking.

I was open and honest about my virginity and as we talked more I did disclose I had a small penis. She didn't care at all.

Seeing the picture you posted, that's not your issue!!

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shyguy_timid

Hey metal, I've been getting my feet wet so to say. I used a couple dating apps got over run with girls wanting to meet. Met up with one girl out of the bunch that seemed amazing, found out she was not a very nice person and I pretty much crashed and burned. It sucked but I'm not down on myself, honestly I felt like it was more of a loss for her. Still strong and trying to find the right one. You're the man metal, hope I'm fortunate enough to have a true romance like you.

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metalminded

What happened with her when you met? Just too shy?

I’m glad I gave you an idea!

It took me awhile too. You’re right you will meet the right person!

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shyguy_timid

No she could see anxiousness in me, which wasn't me not being confident, it has to do with what happened in childhood and she mistook that anxiety for not being confident.

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metalminded

I gotcha. Don't worry, you seem like a decent guy. It will happen

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shyguy_timid

thx man

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HiddenThis reply has been deleted
shyguy_timid
shyguy_timid
in reply to Hidden

With all due respect, which is none. I've met women that were gorgeous, and they may be able to grab whatever guy they may want for sex, but that doesn't mean it will be good sex for the woman, that's like a shot in the dark. Further more if a gorgeous girl had guys she knew who were good in bed, other hot women would know about those guys as well making it a competition and even hot girls lose in those situations its up to what the guy wants at that point. Most really attractive women find that they are happy with a normal guy, because they don't have to deal with all the shady bullshit. Also statistically, the most attractive women are the loneliest, because so few men approach them out of fear of rejection by a beautiful woman, or the guys just think they have no chance, so they shy away from them. Life is not a television show or comedy movie, most assumptions by men pertaining to attractive women, are inaccurate. So you're wrong. Just in the last few days I've learned soo much just from talking to girls, and communicating via date app. No matter who you approach women all react the same to confidence. And to back it up, one of my best friends growing up who out of the whole gang was likely the most immature and always laughing at stupid things leaving people around him scratching their heads. He may also have been the farthest from being decent enough for the institution of marriage, yet he met a beautiful woman from Germany. He was the first to get married and also the first of my friends to have a child. They now live in Germany as a happy family.

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diptasu

Good looking , sexy

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shyguy_timid

thanks was not sure if you were a guy or girl couldn't tell by the name lol, but thank you.

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Ire_cali

Got nothing to worry about bud

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shyguy_timid

thank you

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Rolf1

Cock looks okay but I am guessing your unfortunately cut

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shyguy_timid
shyguy_timid
in reply to Rolf1

I don't know what you mean by unfortunately cut. I am circumcised if that's what you mean.

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Rolf1
Rolf1
in reply to shyguy_timid

Yes that was what I meant. Foreskin has a purpose and removing it cancels its value and performance.

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Circedandlovingit

Great looking penis, and the girl with love. Looks to be nicey circimcised, which is even better.

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shyguy_timid

thank you much, still trying to get out there and use it. Haven't found the right girl yet.

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Circedandlovingit

You will. Keep looking and she will love it. Since it's circumcised, you have an added vantage. Most women prefer circumcised penises.

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