Facial Hair Plucking (Male) - Help!

[coney_island_cyclone]

TL;DR : Facial hair pluckers please help me stop ! Hopefully someone out there can identify with this. . .

I am addicted to plucking stubble, ingrown & flat lying hairs under the skin on my face. I would like to hear from anyone who battles with this daily or has overcome it. This is not a long standing problem. I’m 38 and only recall doing this for the last year or two. I’ve always used a 3 blade cartridge razor to shave with. I tend to shave every other day as I have sensitive skin. One day for some unknown reason, maybe I was sucked in by marketing, I picked up a 5 blade Gillette Fusion proglide flexball power razor. To begin with I thought it was a great razor: the flexball aspect works well and it seems to get a lot of hairs on awkward areas of the face that aren’t flat. The downside was the ridiculous cost of the cartridges and the fact that I was getting razor burn, bumps and ingrown hairs from it. I read into it and saw an article questioning what all the extra blades on these cartridges actually do. They say the first blade helps lift the hair ready for the second to cut it. So, what do the 3rd, 4th and even 5th blade do? Well they actually cut so close that they are cutting the hair below the skin line which is how you get ingrown hairs.

After a few months of this I stopped using it and went back to my long serving Wilkinson Sword protector 3 blade razor. It felt better but like the damage had already been done by the 5 blade carts and it seems I’ve had redness on my face ever since. I then had to deal with all the ingrown hairs from said joke multi blader. The blunt old bathroom tweezers weren’t up to the task so I got some new sharp slant ones. Some of those ingrowers were horrific. Insanely long, curled up hairs under the skin that when teased out with tweezers, unravelled out in a giant C shape. I was shocked at how many of them there were and every one I had to pick out would leave a scar.

At this point I did some research into using DE (double edged) razors through shaving sites and I now shave this way, with an Edwin Jagger DE89 razor, using cream instead of ‘canned goo’ shaving gels or foams. Generally I find this a lot better. I still shave every other day to minimise irritation and I use a good post shave balm afterwards. I use moisturiser at night and apply some Aloe Vera gel partway through the day especially around picking scars & redness.

I get hardly any ingrown hairs now, but the odd one I do get, as well as those strange flat lying hairs that sit under the skin, and any stubble I particularly dislike, I feel a compulsion to pick at. Seriously, what is it with those flat lying hairs? I suppose I should stop looking for them as I know the trouble it causes both getting them out and afterwards, but when I see that long black line under the skin I feel it must come out. It is unbelievably frustrating to be digging out a hair late at night with blood everywhere, knowing full well that you will feel awful the next day with both the soreness of the scar, and the feelings of stupidity and guilt. The hairs would not always even be that bad, unlikely even to be visible to other people, but once I’ve seen them in the magnifying mirror I HAVE to get them out at all costs.

I really am sick of it now. At any point I seem to have 2-3 scars from picking at my face, I then have a battle to try not to pick these when they scab over before they are ready. And pretty much as they’re healed I’ll inevitably find another hair or two that I feel I must remove, and so it starts all over again. On my non-shaving day I generally pick at the stubble on my chin and under my jawline, I may then end up picking some hairs that stand up noticeably on my head & around my ears & sideburns too. Growing a beard is not something I want to do as I get incredibly annoyed by stubble by the 3rd day of not shaving. But then if I shave daily I’ll get more irritation. I’m hyper sensitive to stubble and can’t stand to feel clothing such as the zips from a fleece, rubbing against my face, even if I shaved earlier that day. So the stubble under the chin bugs me but any scars there feel even worse. I hate wearing shirts because of the rubbing of the collar against my neck. Fortunately I don’t have to wear them to work.

So how do you pluckers of facial hair cope? At one point I was taking a pair of tweezers into work and when it was quiet I would zone out in front of the mirror picking at any fuzz or head hair I didn’t like the look of. I no longer do that but if I go away for even a night or two I will pack the tweezers & pocket folding magnifying mirror as I’m afraid I’ll freak out without access to them. I have a pair of slants & a pair of pointed tip tweezers and can’t seem to go a day without picking them up & getting in front of the magnified mirror. I’ve thought about asking my wife to hide them, but I’m afraid I’ll either go hunting for them when she’s out, try to demand them back from her, or go out and buy others. I really want to stop this as it is wrecking my face and my self confidence. I am hoping I can use an upcoming family wedding in a weeks time and a family holiday a few weeks later as motivation to stop doing this, as I don’t want people to see my face in such a sorry state and want to feel relaxed and pain & guilt free on holiday.

I actually enjoy shaving now, and in some ways my skin is in better condition than when I used a 5 blade cartridge razor, but I simply can’t stop plucking out hairs / stubble I consider to be a problem (that others wouldn’t even notice). I’ve read where people say that this is a form of self harm. I can’t say I am doing it for that reason, it’s more of a compulsion. One I really wish I could stop. Maybe it’s a bit of a stress relief in some ways, but even that is not a good enough reason as it actually causes me more stress than it relieves! I’ve tried to not pick anything until after the shave, and then maybe just pluck a couple of stubble bits I’ve missed after two shave passes. But then I’ll just go into the bathroom later that day or on the non-shaving day and get to action with the tweezers again. Today I feel terrible because I have a bad picking scar. I spent 20 mins trying to get a flat lying hair out from under the skin late last night. I now feel stupid for doing it and feel the soreness of the scar. It really wasn’t worth it. How can I stop? Help!

Thanks for taking the time to read this long post. Dave.

[allstar1979]

For my face i hit the sauna first and then put moisturizer on my face with shaving cream. For my neck which is usually worse i use bump fighter cartridges and i use a new one every time. Good luck mate

[jimfromcalif]

Dude, you need to see a professional counselor.

[nor-cal-is-burning]

I dont know if this helps any but i have almost the same problem as you here with a few differences.I am 40 yrs old, my facial hair is pretty thin,i grow a slight fu manchu/gotee,my sideburns dont connect to gotee area and i dont really have any neck/throat hair.I usually shave with electric shavers because its quick and gives me no razorburn like other types of razor blades.I started picking up my wifes tweezers and would do the occasional pick and pull the stray hairs,ones that i thought looked funny or out of place.I would use tweezers every other day after shaving or every so often.This escelated when an occasional /recreational drug that i used every once and a while became an everyday habbit for about 6 month.During that time my shaving and personal grooming sessions turned into 1 and 2 hour tweezing,plucking,picking events! Eventually instead of shaving my sideburns anymore i would pluck them all out. I continued to use shaver on the rest of my face but maybe since the hair on the sides didnt connect or grow in all the way anyways i put my attention to that area all the time.Once i had plucked every single hair out i couldnt stop,it became this thing of focus almost a way to relieve anxiety i was having from life and the drugs i was doing,but when i would take a break from drug binders i would.still have this compultion to get the tweezers out and go to town.it would give a sense of relief from the anxiousness but like you said i would feel worse later on. It got so bad that at one point i was scraping the sides of my freshly tweezed face with a straight razor for 30 mins or so because it itched from being plucked and seemed 2 relieve it but i knew i would regret it.And i did.the next few days i developed bad razor burn and many ingrown hairs. so i ended up tweezing the ingrown hairs out excesively to the point that they ended up turning into 4 huge boils on one side and 3 on the other side.The boils turned into staff infections after that. With antibiotics and 2weeks out of work they healed up. After that my wife hid all tweezers away from me, at this point she knew of my pluckimg and my drug problem.i didnt care,I would just go buy more tweezers at store, then take them to work with me.any chance i had a break or would use restroom i would dig around for even just one hair to pull out,even though most hairs were already pulled out i would dig and dig till i found that perfect one. I sometimes use my wifes makeup to try and hide the marks and redness.Eventually i quit doing the drugs i was taking but i still cant stop tweezing my sideburns.now its like a relief/calming thing for me when i get anxiety or im under any stress. i am able to keep it pretty sanitary so i dont get anymore infections. Ive read online about hair pulling dissorders aka trichlomania.it happens to mostley women i guess. I have never shared this info with anybody ever so hopefully you know you are not alone, i know i am not the only one doing this kind of thing anymore thanks to your post. Good luck with whatever you ended or end up doing with your situation!!!Thanx from someone who thought he was all by himself with this!!

[coney_island_cyclone]

@nor-cal-is-burning Thanks for the reply. Yes, its a strange thing to struggle with and even stranger to open up about, whenever you search such things, it seems to be more a problem that affects women. I'm happy to say that I've made good progress since starting the topic. My move to traditional shaving with a DE razor, using good quality shaving creams, has really helped me. Moving away from 5-blade cartridge razors to a single blade has helped massively to reduce (and almost eliminate) ingrown hairs on my neck / lower cheeks, which are the ones I made a real mess trying to dig out. Also if I go ATG (against the grain) whilst shaving, it really irritates my skin and causes razor bumps and ingrown hairs. So I don't do that, but I still get a pretty close, and more importantly, comfortable shave.

I find this way of shaving very relaxing, really the better a shave I have, the less ingrowers and stubble there is to pluck at. I shave every other day to give my skin a break and because there's not really enough growth to cut after 1 day. I've trained myself not to obsess over stray hairs that probably nobody notices other than myself anyway. I try to only use the tweezers to get any awkward stubble that I have obviously missed right after shaving, and even that I keep to a minimum. Before I would stand in front of the magnifying mirror with a couple of days' growth and just pluck random stubble out all over the place, when it would have been quicker and less painful to just have a shave!

Hope you see some improvement soon.

[nor-cal-is-burning in reply to coney_island_cyclone]

Ill def look in2 the traditional shaving style and DE razors and cream..i agree keeping the hair cut close to the skin so that you cant see them sticking out asmuch,does make it less tempting to pluck them out!!!thanks for the post & the reply!!!

[Hidden]

OMG!!! I thought I was the ONLY person that had this issue!!! I am also 38 and this has been a HORRIBLE struggle for me I had Microneedling for the first time last week, as my facial hairs grow in under the skin now (not all but several and I can't stop until I have dug them out (making a bloody and unsightly mess). I have seen several doctors and three derms. to try and find a solution and none of them have been able to help, my hairs continue to come in, ingrown and I have tried to stop myself from plucking, also it seems like some are really deep and even when plucked it leaves a deep pit with a knot

[Dasboot86]

I know this thread is from a while ago, but I've never talked about this or told anyone, so was kinda glad when I saw this thread knowing I'm not alone. but I'm 26 and Ive been plucking my face for around 3 or 4 years now. it relaxes me, calms me down and just get lost in it, plus I'm addicted to seeing the huge follicles/white bulbs which is the main problem and #1 I cant stop once I start. The severity of it varies, sometimes I'll go a few weeks without pulling any hair then do it every day for a couple hours at a time. Unfortunately have a few minor scare on my face from this horrible fucking habit, although for the last 3 months or so I've done really well with staying outta the mirror. But same as with you, I have super sensitive skin and shaving can really fuck up my face and usually leads me to the tweezers to get those ingrown hairs. But after reading I'm definitely gonna try and change my Razor. It never dawned on me that the4- 5 blades could be a problem until now, but it makes sense. One thing I've learned though is that Aloe Vera is the best after shave for me for razor burn and ingrowns, stopping me from getting both 95% of the time. It can burn a little bit but I highly recommend trying it if u have sensitive skin. I hope you are doing well and have found the will power to get past your plucking problems. and I thank u for sharing plucking problems as it helped me knowing I'm not alone and more confident I'll be able to stop.