Feeling very insecure

[shellibelli]

I feel like I can hardly take care of myself anymore. I'm having a hard time with every day tasks. I've been having this cycle since I was 13 and I'm now 55. You would think I'd have it mastered by now. I know it's baby steps right now but I have a husband who does not have depression or understand it at all. This makes my life mre challenging. I go for group support when I feel up to it, but it's like I've taken steps forward only to fall back again. I am very discouraged and wonder if anyone out there can relate? Sometimes I even lose the will to live cuz I'm in so much pain.

[gajh]

Hello and Welcome. If you have taken steps forward and fallen back again, you are still making progress and heading in the right direction. You are so right about it being baby steps. Don't be hard on yourself. It must be so hard that your husband doesn't understand. I am glad you have joined here with people who do understand. You are not alone.

[shellibelli in reply to gajh]

Thank you so much for your reply. I go to group therapy 3 times a week so that helps. What are you doing that helps?

[gajh in reply to shellibelli]

I am in individual therapy weekly. One thing I did that helped me was LENS neurofeedback. It was expensive and not covered by insurance, but it did help me. Didn't resolve everything, but made some progress. Another thing that helped me was when I joined here and started talking with people who understand. Also an app called Self Talk that has different programs with positive statements. The one I like best is positive self talk for stress, worry, and depression. I listen to it every day. I noticed an improvement after a short time. Oh and one more thing was aromatherapy. Coconut scented body wash and shampoo.

[Rikachan]

hello i am sorry to here that. its good that you want to accept the reality you are in. Its hard to accept the helplessness and lonliness. I am sometimes there too, even if i talk to people I feel sometimes lonely. We have in german some center for people that have mental issues and they can meet up under the week there, Maybe you can ask a doc about it. It is hard to find honest and real connection. I am glad that i can connect sometimes with myself and with my dog. I hope I could give you some acceptance. Most people are unaware.

Have you maybe some hobby like going for a walk? I find a network markerting group that is about team work for a great product. I have experienced hard things too with people but that group gave me hope. Maybe you could go in discord.

[shellibelli in reply to Rikachan]

Thank you for your kind reply, good days and bad days.

[jnelson66]

look up the word avolition it’s the medical reason you can’t do daily routine activities. It’s a primary symptom of this maniacal disease. I wish I knew that earlier as it was one more thing that crushed my soul and made me wonder why I was making bad choices. I wasn’t. The brain disease was. Keep fighting and trying to find relief.

[shellibelli in reply to jnelson66]

Thank you!! Hope you're doing well.