20+years….. profound changes and difficulties over last 6 with diurnal mood issues and acute angst/anxiety about pretty much doing anything

[J-ames]

First off - thanks for reading , and hope you are yourself ok.

the tldr; 20 years of taking ssri ( sertraline/escitalopram). Last 6 years awful diurnal mood feeling very depressed in the morning with disabling levels of angst ( for no reason - unattached to anything really). Life has got smaller as means of coping and I exist - manage to work but not much else.

Tried snri duloxetine but whilst it’s been beneficial in some ways - clearer head/ less fatigue , better gastro - I still battle profoundly with morning depression and unbearable anxiety that can feel almost paranoid at times. Thoughts of taking stronger meds or augmenting feels too much - suggested by psych ( small dose of anti psychotic)

I’m healthy - I run, eat well, sleep well , don’t drink - but can’t beat the feeling of depression and something feeling like dread / doom always looming.

Been actually thinking it is time to go back to ssri and try Prozac! - more activating, may help with the anxiety/real awful thoughts……..

Or is it time to wean off all together over a year see what life feels like without tablets? I don’t think that’s a good plan tho as I’m genuinely getting more disabled my the morning depression and diurnal mood at moment. I want to continue to work - I just can’t keep living with this fear/dread that feels unattached to anything but stops me being able to engage in the world like i used to.

anyone care to share a similar experience, what has helped , or if late switching to Prozac after other meds had been helpful?

Stay well everyone. We are all intrinsically ok

[Raggedy-Ann]

Hi J-ames. You might talk to your dr about changing the times of day you take your meds. I really struggle at night. I suggest eating protein early even a shake to start up your body. Do really good things for yourself when you are depressed. This is not easy, nearly impossible. This is for you. Go outside even for a few minutes fresh air can change the way you feel. I have been fighting this illness for about 40 years. One thing I recently tried that worked was changed my diet. I went to some wellness classes and stopped eating processed food. I cook all of my food from single ingredient foods. After about a month my mood lifted and has stayed better. I cleaned out all of the preservatives, food colorings, and chemicals. I got an app. YUKA, it is easy to use. It scans the bar codes and rates the food from 0-100 for nutritional value, and it explains the ingredients -so many hazardous ingredients in our food. It might help you. - RA

[J-ames in reply to Raggedy-Ann]

Thanks for reply. My challenge feels that I already eat well, don’t drink, exercise regularly , have no objective stressors and stable home……. From a health perspective I’m good and have always really paid attention to things. Run 3 times a week, don’t eat junk. Limited caffeine. Done lots of therapy. It’s like there is something I simply can’t shift - a feeling that sits in me making life really intolerable. I wonder if years of meds had caused it and I need to experience life fully clean……. Or if I need to reach for another med as I’m simply not functioning as I now I should

[Raggedy-Ann in reply to J-ames]

Hi. You can do everything right and still feel uncontrollably depressed and it stinks. I hate that can't think my way out. I suggest you stay on your meds. If they are helping, you might need to adjust them a bit. I too am a non drinker, thought I was eating right, never eat fast food, my job is a lot of exercise. I feel like there is a darkness with me and finally discovered the best explanation is I feel haunted. I know logically it is a brain chemistry problem. I threw away all my dressings and sauces, no lean cuisines or other frozen meals, I avoid sugar. It is still the only change that has really helped. I hope you find a bit of relief.

[CatMommaK]

One thing that made a difference for me has been switching from an SSRI to an NSRI. It is both a norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor and a serotonin reuptake inhibitor.