bad morning

[Thor1467]

so here I am. The days are running together for me. The only time I don’t feel like dying is from 6pm on because I know I’m going to be asleep soon after.

I’ve been out of work for over a month now due to my depression and pain but suffering for 5 months. I have such brain fog I can’t even get it together to get to the social security office to file for disability and I screw it up online. Does anyone have disability for MDD?

the mornings are the hardest for me. Anyone else? I just have nothing to do. I’d clean but my fibromyalgia and arthritis keep me from being able to. My house is getting harder to keep up with.

What keeps everyone holding on? I have a 26 yr old son who lives with me because he can’t afford to live on his own. He is on the autistic spectrum. Videographer. He’s totally independent other than limited income due to free lancing and he has no friends because he is socially a bit awkward.

I have a 23 yr old son who is doing good and lives independently and has a good job so I don’t worry about him.

Anyway, everyday I feel like a coward because I think that one day I can always throw my arms up. I will run out of money in a year if I’m not better and functioning in society again.

Just decided to vent here in case anyone else is having a morning where they don’t know what to do with themselves.

[PeaceNeed]

Hello, Alot of what you have written applies to me as far as symptoms. I'm older and been out of work for a long time. My social worker filled out disability paperwork for me. It more complicated then when I first applied.

[Cookie2217]

Hi there I just wanted to reach out to you because I wanted to tell you to please not give up. I know the mornings are hardest for me to and I am in the midst of filing for Social Security disability for my MDD as well just began my process. I have to fill out paperwork and get it back to the lawyer's office. I also have to find a psychiatrist to support my diagnosis along with a therapist and my primary care physician was the one that diagnosed me with MDD so he's on board already. I know the process is going to take a few years and I'm going to work part-time at least until I get my disability. I'm sure that you know this but disability claims are always denied the first time and depression is hard to prove because it's not physical it's mental and about 60 to 80% of claims for depression get denied the first time just so you know to plan out your life financially. I understand that you worry for your son who lives with you I would too but I'm glad he has a job where he loves it and is independent in many ways that's wonderful. And your other son is completely on his own that's so young of an age you did a wonderful job raising your sons so always you know that ok. Wishing you a better morning peace and well-being.

[Hidden]

I started getting disability in Aug. I went to an attorney who did most of the work for me. Then the lawyer takes a small amount if you are approved. Took just a little over a year. I was lucky and was approved the first time. A lot of of people have to do an appeal. It's not an easy process so definitely get some kind of help applying because it takes some of the pressure off of you. Good luck!!

[RottenRotties]

Good afternoon, Is anyone here?

[RottenRotties]

Thor, I feel the exactly like you. I was telling someone lastnight your exact words. I'm so sorry.....

[Thor1467 in reply to RottenRotties]

Hey. I actually just came back from the dog park with my dog. Felt so proud of myself for going out. What are you doing?

[RottenRotties]

Good job...I'm proud of you! I am doing what I've been doing for almost 5 years. Just sitting and wishing I could take out my boat or jetski. It's 78 degrees and it's just beautiful outside. But I can't do it due to the surgeries I need. When I'm on the lake, I'm always at my best. What type of dog do you have? I have a German Rottweiler and a German Shepard.

[Thor1467 in reply to RottenRotties]

I have a Goldendoodle and a shitzu.

So you deal with chronic pain too huh? Sucks ! When and what surgery do you have coming up?

[RottenRotties]

I love animals...I have 12! I've been living with this pain since June 2019 when I had a botched abdominal surgery (inguinal hernia.) My 2nd surgery was a revision, but it didn't help much. June of 2021 I flew to the Cleveland Clinic in Ohio. They told me the Dr's here really screwed things up. There was double the amount of mesh that was needed and so on. I now have permanent neuropathy in different areas. It has had devastating effects on my family especially my daughter. My husband is distant now and it seems like I'm a big, useless burden! The guilt itself is overwhelming. I need neck surgery (3rd time), back and left shoulder. I just don't know if I'm going to make it through this?!?

[Thor1467 in reply to RottenRotties]

Oh I can’t imagine how hard it is with the guilt of trying to be a wife. How old is your daughter? It’s been hard on my sons but they are older and luckily make their own money.

how old are you? Is your pain every day? Do you take anything for your depression?

[RottenRotties in reply to Thor1467]

My daughter is 18, but was only 14 when this all started. It has really damaged her. Plus she's my only child. When we flew to Cleveland Clinic we had to leave her at home by herself. We have ZERO support. I am looking for a Therapist for her. My pain is 24/7 so I don't get any relief unless I'm sleeping. You and I are the same age. About 4 months ago, I was put on Prozac. Doesn't seem to be doing much of anything 😕

[Thor1467 in reply to RottenRotties]

Prozac didn’t help me much either. I’ve been on Pristiq which is helping a little bit more but for me, the anxiety from being out of work seems to be the big culprit.

Today is a chilly day here in Atlanta which makes me stay inside so I guess it’s going to be a long day.

[Rufus07]

I have ss disability. I’ve had it for 2 years now. I haven’t worked that whole time….cant do it. It is very hard to get. I got denied the first time and then got a lawyer who won my case. I was told that every 2 years they review your case, especially with mdd cause they assume you are going to magically get better. April was 2 years and I dred getting the mail in fear of getting a letter. My doctor, who has given up on me, said they are so behind because of COVID, it could take years! I hope he’s right because I don’t know how I could possibly go back to work. I hope for the best for you. As far as holding on and keep going day to day, I feel like none of us really know. I think for me, it’s the hubby and kids. But some days that doesn’t even seem like enough.

You’re in my prayers🙏