Hello

[Topher917]

I know I am not alone in my situation but it sure feels as if I am. I am seperated from my wife and she told me that maybe we should get a divorce and be co-parents. After being together for thirteen years and Married 5.5 years. She cheated on me twice with two different people at different times in our relationship and I had to find out and confront her. I admit I fucked up too and went through opiod addiction for three years and went through rehab for it, clean since Jan. 23rd, and we also had a son during my haze of addiction. I have been out of the house since early January and it seems as if I am trying to do what I can for the marriage but she isn't doing anything other than push my feelings over and turn whatever argument or talk we have into something I did wrong. And to make all that better I lost my job at the beginning on May and it is hitting me hard. I feel so isolated and alone, pretty depressed to be honest, and unimaginably lost. I have had some bad thoughts all week and I am trying to find someone I feel I can talk with to keep me from spiraling into something you cannot come back from. This is as short and to the point as I can be here, any guidance or help is greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance!

[blackcat64013]

Hi Topher917,When we lose things that we value so much like relationships and our job, it's really difficult to accept.

Our brain likes things to stay the same and fights to get us back to a good place while dealing with the stress hormones flooding our body and mind. This is the shift that makes us feel bad.

Quality sleep which should refresh us can feel elusive too.

I can recommend talking to your doctor about this place you are in. There is nothing wrong with this.

It's a safe place where you will be listened to without judgement which I feel you might need.

Take time for your self care, perhaps walking or having coffee catch ups with friends.

If the relationship between you is really over, don't forget to get legal advice sooner rather than later. Dealing with issues and going to court without a family court lawyer is not recommended.

We are here to provide care and support for you 24/7.

🐈‍⬛

[Ineedelp123]

hi Topher917

I’m so sorry you are having such a hard time and I m here for you to listen . I too feel lost and hurting. I don’t have any kids or a husband ..my friends don’t really support me and I really want to give up . I hope that we can support each other as we go through this tough time . My heart is heavy and no one I reach out to support me . My brothers and sisters make me feel like I get on their nerves and I don’t have anyone to talk to ..can we be friends?

[Topher917 in reply to Ineedelp123]

We absolutely can be friends, I am sorry for what you are going through and I will help out however I am able to. And as far as your family, they are there for you and our own negative thought tend to over power our rational thinking, I know very well from experience, which makes me tend to start spiraling unless we are able to combat those thoughts and reinforce them with good and not bad. Family, in my instance at least, wants to help me and I am just not letting them in which makes my depression worse thinking they don't care. They really just don't know what I am going through and are just unaware since they are in the dark. Please feel free to contact me privately, if you are able to, and we can chat and talk. I have been told for the past three years that "The hardest thing to do when you are struggling is to reach out for help, and even using your phone everyday it seems weightless when we want someone to know our struggles it turns into the heaviest thing on earth and you cannot lift it to make a call. Again, I am sorry you are going through this. Please challenge your thoughts and try to find something that can calm you and make you feel a pinch of happiness.

[Ineedelp123 in reply to Topher917]

Topher917

I think it all in my head . I’m having such a hard time getting out of my head and into the world it like I’m stuck

[Hidden]

Have you reached professional therapy/counseling? I wonder if you are in need of their care levels, as yet? Be glad for interest in becoming aware of interest for your health, as you sound downright defeated! There are many hard challenges for your time currently now... marriage and family, former addictive lifestyle, being out-of-work and depressed about life. Despite the anger, hurt, and pain you are living with, for recent time, your struggle for a livable or at least...for a reasonable life is on! Here are two thoughts, first get help (call 211 or a local aid center to get in) then, commit to working at a better self and a firmly good life! Get help now🙂 talk to someone who is concerned about people! You can deal with life and get better🙂

[Existing]

I'm carrying that aloneness now too, and the heavy weight of hopelessness .. I have absolutely no one who even knows me in the world besides my therapist🥺