Tried it all

[Livetorunruntolive]

I've had depression for 27 years now. I've had 3 major episodes and am going through one right now. I think the best word is torture. My mind is being tortured and all I want to do is sleep. I do get up and do things, but time moves so, so slowly!

I did ECT back in 2005 and did 14 sessions and it worked amazingly well. So, I tried it again this Feb. with 16 sessions and nothing. I've tried TMS - nothing. Ketamine - nothing. Multiple drugs (I am on 5 right now!) - nothing. I just started microcurrent neurofeedback. I've done 6 sessions and you are suppose to feel something in sessions 1-3 - nothing. My next adventure will be actually driving to Seattle (I am in Idaho) and getting two brain scans with the Amen Clinic. Unfortunately I have to wait a full month before I get to talk to a doctor about my scans. The amount of money I've spent on health care has been crazy. My career is a teacher. My first year I had an episode and had to quit half way through it. Then I had 18 years of solid performance, basically living with my mild to moderate depression. Sept 2022 the depression was raging and I just couldn't do it anymore and had to quit. Now I'm worried about the 2023-2024 school year - beginning in late August. In the last 7 months I've been in the hospital 3 times.

I eat clean, exercise 6 days a week, I'm very spiritual, have a great support system at home - I have many blessings. I know God is good and this is not my permanent home which brings me so much hope and peace. Thanks for reading!

[PeaceNeed]

Ive lived with it for 30 yrs. No support system and havent achieved anything. Wish i was gone. God dont help

[Toddzen]

Recently I read a post by someone who said Deep Brain Stimulation cured their Major Depression. The surgeon implants a device into the brain. It has a high success rate. I am taking low dose Ketamine everyday and I feel less Depressed. I did the expensive IV infusions and they didn't work. The Company is Joyous.

[Raggedy-Ann]

Hi. I am in the pit right now too. It sucks when you do all the right stuff-exercise, eat healthy, take meds, .... and no matter how you try you end up in bed fighting for your life. you are not alone. My only suggestion is change your sheets. Clean sheets is a small but nice thing to do for yourself.

[Catt02]

Glad you've had a good period of success. And remarkably tenacious. But so sorry the depression crashed in. Tried Ketamine, nothing. Psyche meds, therapy etc. never tried ECT. I would just as soon not. I know it's painful and frightening but I do hope it gets resolved and you can get on with teaching again or who knows.🌿 Depression/Anxiety have pretty much ruined my life. It interfered with a career, higher education, romance everything. Now with the 8 yrs Benzo ordeal I'm in a worse place than I've ever been. Plus I'm stressed about leaving the country. There's got to be a way to peace because in my mind, that's still the goal. 🌿