Struggling

[Bezel75]

I’m 57 and i’ve been struggling with MDD and anxiety for most of my life. I am medicated - started Prozac in 1988 after lots of misdiagnoses and wasn’t able to get off without spiraling down. I am now on two antidepressants and they keep me afloat. I work from home and I am a high achiever but I’m also an introvert who has always been a loner. My mind doesn’t stop thinking and I feel sadness often. But I’m functional and no one would suspect that depression plagues me. I’m looking to connect with others here. I miss connecting with people who understand.

[Bezel75]

Thank you for your reply. I wish I could just stop thinking — it’s always a struggle. I would love to hear more about you! Just who you are and what you think about.

[Raelyn71]

Hi, I am right there with you. Those negative self talks are hard to ignore. The stupidest things my trigger those thoughts. Like for me yesterday, I was watching love is blind first episode after 30 minutes I had to turn it off cause the thoughts started: " that I will never have that kind of love and who would want a screwed up mentally depressed person. I don't deserve to be loved. "Stupid negative thoughts.

[Bezel75 in reply to Raelyn71]

That happens to me, too. It hurts to see people happy sometimes. I get jealous when I see couples who like each other and have built a good relationship.

[Paint4Health]

Bezel75, would you consider getting a few plants and perhaps, a pet? This may be a way to provide some companionship in your life. If you're a dog person, that will empower you to get out for daily walks and perhaps even to the dog park to socially interact with others. Just know that I completely empathize with you. Daily chores (showering, working, feeding my cats, etc.) can be so much work. I guess I am holding on to the hope that I can will my way to life before MDD but the reality is that I just need to accept it but it is hard. You mentioned that you are on two anti-depressants that are keeping you afloat. Do you mind sharing which meds you are on? I just started Prozac three weeks ago and haven't felt a drastic change.

[Bezel75 in reply to Paint4Health]

I am taking Prozac and Wellbutrin — you most likely won’t feel anything significant for 4-6 weeks so hang in there and be patient. I have 2 dogs and they do bring me joy! Some days are better than others.

[Montana136]

I am a 56 year old woman suffering from major depressive disorder and anxiety for 40 years or more also on antidepressants I take Prozac. Medication helps me but does not quite do the whole trick. I have been on a lifelong search for answers I read a lot I listen to positive people. I also tend to isolate. I have been isolating really actually since I was 13. I too am looking to engage with other like-minded individuals I have a positive outlook but I don't seem to apply it to myself seem to do a lot of negative thinking and most recently in the mornings I experience an intense flow of interruptive thoughts thoughts about things I should have said or should have done or how I could have done differently or thinking about parenting what I should have done differently or paid more attention to I think it is like the past and the how to handle the future are obsessively on my mind. Thoughts changed so rapidly I cannot write them down so I was video journaling for a while. Anyway I hope something in this paragraph made sense to you or helps you.