Okay at first my rheumatologist said "you may be borderline lupus...and I was like"WTH is that??After waiting 3 weeks for labs to come back from California .I was expecting a no answers no help no nothing.Because this has been my last decade of answers NOTHING...Instead I got the hard core truth.YOU HAVE LUPUS or what seems worse than lupus.Your numbers are higher than regular severe lupus or RA numbers usually are.I'm giving you a very strong dosage of plaquenil twice a day for 3 months.It should make you feel a lot better and bring down these number so we can give you a real diagnoses....So I'm not what??I'm confused so what do i have?He repeats a very severe case of lupus above the normal numbers but you are walking so we will see.He said "you must have a high tolerance for pain.I said "no I dont I cry in the bathroom or shower or when I'm alone.I can hardly walk and just bought an expensive foot massager to help with the pain I'm waiting on it to come I ordered online!I do have chronic kidney stones so I'm used to pain but.I have ulcers on my eyeballs and in my mouth and other tmi area's,all the way through my digestive track.My small joints finger toes wrist hands knuckles all feel broken.I have a rash across my whole face,thank god for makeup!I'm on tramadol and valium for pain and panic.I'm a hot mess.But after all is said and done.I only left with 1 thought.He said I couldn't or should not attempt to have a baby.I never knew I had lupus last year. I went through an entire pregnancy had a beautiful daughter .I feel like god made me go into remission for my entire pregnancy. Just so i could have something to live for ,something worth this pain. All I ever wanted my girl, my best friend, my life my daughter!Juliet you are my miracle and I will be thanking god every morning and night I got you!