2015 -The end of a "testing" year

[magSLE]

Hi all,

Thought I'd post to get some writing therapy. I'm living with 7 health conditions now & take about 10-15pills a day. 2015 has been more about my health & changing my lifestyle - Eating & drinking healthily, identifying spiritual needs, spending time getting to know my new self. I'm not perfect at it but will keep trying.

2015 - I spent the 1st six mths with Severe Anaemia (my body wasn't functioning & not digesting iron). I had an Endoscopy, Colonoscopy, Kidney/Liver scan, breast cancer tests - mammogram, scan (a benign cyst was found). Due to pain below my belly button, I had a Pelvis & transvaginal scan to check my ovaries & cervix. Found out on Thurs that I have Fibroids down there. This has brought my health conditions to 7. I've also got a cyst on my spine. All of these will have to be monitored for growth by myself (initially).

I feel mentally & physically exhausted as I've gone thru it all alone. I've felt so distressed at times, I phoned the Samaritans - early hrs in the AM. They are great listeners & quite empathetic.

In general, most people are either saying "oh well, could be worse" or "so are you working...why not?". After 6yrs of relentless & continual health issues/illness, I'm exhausted so I've taken time out/alone time.

I'm still learning to do what's best for me & not other people (which I've done most of my life).

I'm praying 2016 will be the start of our health being stable, feeling confident & less sensitive to ignorant behaviour, work in a job that inspires not drains, learning to love family unconditionally, feel lovable, enjoy the power of now moments & look to the future not the past. Amen!

Wishing you all a Merry Xmas & a Happy New Yr full of joy, peace & good health!

[misty14]

Hi Magsle

What a tough year you've had!. I've got my own saying that we 'have to be fit to be ill' coping with all the tests and appointments!.

I do hope you have a very Healthy and Happy Christmas and 2016 is a much better year for you.

Love MistyX

[Hidden]

Hi magsle,first of all I empathise with you and understand all that you are going through,,it seems to me that because we have to cope with everything that's thrown at us,something or someone says well here we are you might as well have something else to cope with as well !!! I send you the very best of good wishes that 2016 will be a better year in every aspect,not just for you but for all our fellow sufferers,big soft hugs,hope you have a good Christmas and an even better new year,love to all Bettyalice xxxxxxxx

[babssara]

MagSLE, hope you're feeling a little better today. Samaritans do a brilliant job and I'm really glad you had someone to talk to in your hour of need.

I've noticed there are a lot of people on these forums who feel like you during the night. You will usually find someone awake so that you can have a good chat to help ease your mind in troubled times.

I used to be on most nights when I went through a period of not sleeping and feeling so alone and ill. These forums are a Godsend, not just the Lupus forum - there is always someone on at least one of the sites who is also looking for company.

Have a peaceful Christmas.

Gentle hugs

Babs x

[magSLE]

Thanks to all for your supportive words. It's a lonely road for so many reasons but I'm finding more positive ways to cope but I'm still adapting. Recently, I found out about Eckhart Tolle - a spiritualist whose audio work 'Power of Now' brings me comfort when I have too much 'noise & chatter' in my mind.

m.soundcloud.com/insights-1...

m.youtube.com/watch?v=x5L3J...(Not working as expected?)

Lots of love, peace & hugs x

[BARTLETT27]

that's the problem with this illness.

its inviable to most.

But when it hit you at a low , then finding that person to talk to . can make all the difference, of life or death .

Because if we all be truthful " AT our low point we all wonder what's the point of going ON"

But how do you try tell someone that!!

[Natura]

Hi Mag...couldn't have said it better... I especially like what you said about being less sensitive to ignorant behavior, working in a job that inspires (I am working as a temp with an agency that provides therapy to children for early intervention for physical therapy and speech. Good cause. Although they may not be able to keep me busy with work).

Learning to love family unconditionally is a tough one as I seem to disagree quite often and my feelings hurt all the time. I an trying to learn to let it go. Have kept myself distance from my in laws for awhile because they are cold and judgmental...but will try to forgive and move on this Christmas. Not easy.

Peace and good health to you too!

[magSLE in reply to Natura]

Hi Natura, I totally agree with the family hurt issues. I've had a lifetime of it & just drains me now. I actually prefer the idea of letting go of negative people but It's difficult with my family. I'm tired of the cycle & only I can stop it. Praying for us to be strong, healthy & honest with self so we each move forward in our lives. I'm tired of feeling stuck.

Best wishes to you x

[Natura in reply to magSLE]

Best wishes to you too! Better times and health for us all!