I feel like all the Doctors’ appointments, Rheumatologist appointments and blood tests are paying off.
I am starting to feel better. I literally woke up one day and it felt like a fog of fatigue and pain was lifted slightly, its still here but I can now see other tings ..
Im car is filthy how have I been driving it like this
I have not had my nails or feed done this is not acceptable
And I can’t believe I have been rocking into work without any make-up or doing my hair
ECT
I know these may sound like small trivial things but before my illness they were really important to me and I can’t believe that up in till now I simply haven’t thought about it.
On the other side I’m realizing that certain friends and colleagues who claim to be close me have not contacted me to see how I am or how I am feeling
Work claimed they would support me through all this but haven’t really
I’m feeling very bitter sweet right now because I am happy to be feeling better but also starting to feel a bit resentful
Written by
wotshernameagain
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Hi.....glad things are feeling a bit clearer for you. I think you are right....this condition kind of sorts out your priorities in life. It does kind of show who is there for you I agree. Though I tend to think it says more about others than us. We have learnt (through illness) that we still have a lot to give....and others have not 'got to that point' yet. It kind of sorts out the 'real friendships' where we can be honest from the acquaintance types/or those who need us for a purpose.
If I were you I would just revel in feeling a bit better and focus on doing some good things for you. The friends that have stayed the course are the ones to treasure. Try not to let the negative experiences spoil your here and now as they are not worth focusing on. Enjoy your nice clean car, hair, nails, make up all looking lovely and just revel in this good health. All the best xx
Good answer mstr, I think that with all illnesses, sufferers are more compassionate to other people probs. Were we like the others before lupus??? I find with my friends, they ask how you are, but are selective as to which bits they listen to. My usual response when asked is," I have good days and bad days." But if I dare say, that my liver tests were raised, that's the bit they hear. They then run off and tell everyone that I'm in a bad way with 'liver failure'!!!!......had to laugh about the lack of personal care and cleanliness re..your car. I become a complete slob!!! I lay around in joggers and baggy tops with no bra. But to defend myself, these are the perfect things to wear when you are ill and laying around. As mstr said, enjoy the well you!!
Yes!!! And if you saw them since depo jabs you'd be mortified. I need a hammock. But I'm not saying I would go out like it, that would be daring. Hahaha. . Take care
Waking up to the state of your surroundings is definitely a sign of improvement! I now measure my lupus activity by the amount of appetite I have for housework - if I have none and assuming I'm not lazy, then lupus is brewing something. If I itch to straighten this and clean that, then I'm on the mend.
As for friends - they have another life where illness is a myth, don't begrudge it. You have us lupies to keep you company from now on. A sobering thought, I know.
Great advice from other folk here. I sometimes find the ups as emotionally draining as the downs - it takes time to get used to not being able to do things - we grieve the loss and then somewhere down the line we can do then again. It's confusing for my wee brain and my heart.
I had a huge natural cull in my friend group when I was first ill - my life changed completely and my priorities too. I still feel it was for the best.
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