How to Provide Space Without Abandoning? [During Possible Dissociative Delusion/Psychosis]

[seeking-guidance]

Apologies if I’ve gotten the wrong idea about this forum. Feel free to delete if not allowed.

I’m in a bit of a pickle.

I had been casually dating someone very unofficially for 3 months, they ended up getting triggered and things rapidly descended. Two flashbacks occurred on two consecutive nights, though I wonder if the age regression occurred after the first one and stayed present, facilitating the second one.

During the second one, a misunderstanding occurred that is ultimately a surface-level mishap, but ultimately quite destructive to betrayal wounds.

[Full Disclosure: they have not directly stated that they have PTSD. However, given the details of the flashbacks and the chain of events that has followed, it is crystal clear that PTSD is at the root of everything else.]

They seem to currently be in a very pervasive dissociated state, which from a distance could be interpreted as delusion or even psychosis, but I can’t tell and don’t see a need to play armchair psychiatrist. Despite this, it does seem that they suspect persecution by me specifically.

They spiraled into severe mistrust after the second flashback, and when I did eventually get to speak to them, they said they were “going through something very bad and serious,” and that “this is the least of [their] concerns,” so I gave my word to “leave them be,” and said I would reach out in “a few months” to buy a handmade item from them.

I am struggling with this because I don’t want this person to feel as though I’ve ghosted them or don’t care unless we’re talking about “me” or “us” or whatever. Terms like “leave you be” are difficult for me because they are unclear, and I have nowhere to go with them. No contact? No-pressure contact? I just overfill my cup of unplaced support to give and don’t know if it’s more harm to stay back or leave occasional check-ins.

I want to reach out again just to give well-wishes and remind them they are loved, but not knowing the extent of their symptoms (currently or otherwise) makes this feel like it carries a lot of weight.

I don’t want to:

1. Leave them high and dry,

OR

2. Go against my word.

Likewise..

1. Smother/trap/suffocate etc.

OR

2. Abandon

Any insight is appreciated, and I’m open to any and all questions. Many thanks.

[Nathalie99 Partner]

Hi seeking-guidance,

Welcome to the community.

It is hard to know without knowing the situation and knowing the person very well.

Personally I think you did the right thing giving them space.

I think a kind word of thinking of you or something that doesn't put a pressure on them to respond is one idea.

I really can't give much advice other than to be there gently and patiently for them without any pressure.

PTSD is not the same as psychosis unless they have been diagnosed with both but in any case, the approach would need to be very gentle.

They might be reexperiencing the trauma and might need to retreat to a safe, quiet space until the triggers pass.

It is difficult on you not knowing what to do and I am sorry.

Hope things will be clearer again...

[BrainIsFull]

You sound very thoughtful.

Of course there's no right or wrong action here but my gut reaction says that providing no-pressure contact may be the way to go. Maybe let them know that you are concerned but don't want to overstep any boundaries. Let them know that they can reach out to you if it's their choice.