My PTSD symptoms include an overwhelming shame. It can be overwhelming at times. Part of it is shame for the things that happened to me, and part of it is shame for the things that I truly did.
I know we "sufferers" can manifest things differently, and for me my shame is overwhelming at times.
How you you deal with shame? Is there ever a way to "fix" it? If it is something that we have actually done?
Hi SurvivingEveryday,
For me personally, I feel ashamed for not being stronger. I feel like a weak person for developing PTSD. Those who know me from a very young age, say that I have been through more than others and that it makes sense but I still try and be like everyone else without any trauma, trying to hide it.
I know it doesn't help that my family members who had trauma, didn't seek help, became perpetrators themselves.
I have this feeling of being different because I come from my background and I worked my whole life to try and change it.
It isn't so easy.
I think for me feeling shame for developing symptoms was a huge part. I started developing self compassion for those circumstances under which things happened.
I think everyone has a different situation but feeling shame is horrible. It is a terrible pressure.
I hope that talking about this and healing through self compassion might bring some hope...
This helps immensely, thank you so much for sharing this with me/us. I identify with your first paragraph- I try to be like everyone else. Even though I know many are hiding scars.
Shame is a mixture of feelings and emotions which can lead you to persecute yourself for what? Being ILL or having a head injury. What I want to say to you sounds harsh but it not so hear goes. Shame on you for suffering from PTSD I am also suffering with the same does that mean we all who are suffering from a real illness should feel shame. Rubbish, sorry if it sounds harsh but truly I do not mean to upset you. I am having psychological therapy and it is beginning to start to help maybe a little I am getting this via the NHS it’s taken 2 years. I am entitled to 20 sessions so far three down and 17 left. I learned on Monday if you put your hand on your tummy and one on your chest and breath, which one moves. Try it and see and if you want to know the answer reply to me. Be kind and gentle with yourself you deserve it. God Bless Liz x🙏⭐️
Thank you for sharing this, and I can sort of see your point about having shame around things we do not "ask for." I will try out the breathing today!
Thank you for being so honest. Yes, I feel shame because at 14 I brought my 16 yo cousin into it as well. I try to forgive myself because my mother was the one manipulating us and she knew what she was doing. I feel shame for bringing my friend into it. I didn’t know how it would affect me, but forgiving myself for not knowing better is something I work on daily. With ptsd it is an emotional response, not a logical one. Sometimes what helps is to avoid the triggers altogether, or think of positive responses….
Remember this… you can’t change the past, but you can change the future by the choices you make today.
You make perfect sense to me, thank you for sharing. I love that you said "...forgiving myself for not knowing better." This is such a hard concept for so many of us, but so needed. Thank you 
It’s a daily, sometimes hourly reminder that I need some days. It’s hard not to live in the past with the ptsd. I correct myself so often that I need to look forward.
I spent my childhood and early adult years feeling ashamed and embarrassed over what happened to me and what I did or didn't do.
I spent some years in counselling in my late 20's and learnt not just intellectually it wasn't my fault but emotionally too. The latter is the hard part.
Through therapy I mastered many skills I had missed out on and learnt slowly to replace the shame with a higher self esteem at how much I had achieved. I no longer saw myself as a 'victim' but a survivor which some people would not have survived and came out the other side.
I also learnt that no matter how you feel you cannot change the past. Negative emotions only keep you trapped and make you unhappy so what's the point in keep going there? Life is difficult enough without being your own enemy. The only thing you can change is how you think about it. And of course to learn the lessons well.
The past is history, the future a mystery, so you only have the present which is a gift. It's also true that the more you think about something the more you will. Children learn by repetition which causes deeper grooves in the brain. Dwelling too long in the past also does this. The answer is to make a deliberate effort to stop going too deep and a good way is to allow yourself a 'pity party' for a limited time - say 5 minutes. After then distract yourself and do something different. It is hard at first but gets easier over time.
This is great advice!
Thank you. I think with enough therapy these feelings of shame eventually go. Are you having any at the moment?
I dealt with a lot of shame growing up and was bullied in school which added to the shame. After trying lots of different therapists and types of therapy I realized I found a therapist that specialized in treating trauma/ptsd and c-ptsd. I used emdr therapy as part of the therapy process and it allowed me to get in touch with my anger, rage and shame and process it and heal. We spent some time initially for me to trust him and the process and feel safe opening up but it was definitely worth it.
Thank you for your response, I appreciate it and it was super valuable to me!
You're welcome, glad I can help.
big (no gigantic) steps!
Rest and recovery
Why do I have to access feelings in order to process ?
Reflection on Impatience 
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